Duty Bound
by Ashantai
Summary: Ever since their confrontation in the woods at the end of "New Moon," Jacob has been avoiding Bella. When she finds out he's leaving La Push forever and getting married, she can't believe it. But is she ready to find out what's really going on with him?
1. Chapter 1

The months she'd had to endure without Edward, the horrible nightmares and the sorrow, the feelings of loneliness and abandonment, had been painful. But she had learned a thing or two about standing on her own two feet as well. Maybe she hadn't learned the easiest way, and maybe Jacob's friendship had had a lot to do with the lessons, but that didn't mean that Bella Swan couldn't take things into her own hands once in a while now. Like arranging the vote at the Cullens'. She realized that Edward was never going to agree to turn her, at least not lightly. But she also realized that he wasn't the only one she had to convince, or the only one that cared about her and had the opportunity to imagine her in this life. When Alice said in Italy that she had seen Bella as a vampire, she knew what she had to do.

One by one they had all cast their votes, and in the end she had won out- she had more support than Edward in this and that bolstered her confidence that she could make this happen. Edward had left her; it had been so easy for him to go. He might say different but he'd been able to function and exist separate from her, and that was something she almost hadn't survived. She wasn't going to let him leave her again. The idea of it made her want to stop breathing. So, if he wouldn't agree outright, she would have to convince him, and no matter how much she might beg him or plead with him or try to argue with him about it, in the end he believed he was right, and that meant she couldn't do this alone.

After the vote, Bella was overcome with emotion. She was excited, she felt vindicated, and for the first time since Edward had returned she felt the smallest hint of security and safety in his presence. If she was a vampire, he couldn't leave her again- she wouldn't let him, and they could be together forever. But there was another emotion there too, as she listened to a group of people she cared about vote for what was essentially her death. She felt a surge of fear, as though the walls were suddenly closing in on her. Maybe she hadn't expected this. Maybe she didn't quite believe it, didn't quite understand what she was asking for. And what if Edward was right, what if she got into something she regretted? She'd have to live with that for the rest of her life- which would be a very long time. Could she do that? Really?

"I'll wait until after graduation," she told him as he drove her home, his discomfort with this situation creating a tension between them in the car. "To make it easier on Charlie. You know?" Darkness was closing in. She thought of never being able to go anywhere sunny, never being able to visit her mom in Florida, or take a vacation to Hawaii. He was angry, she knew it, she could see it in the stiffness of his body in the seat next to her, the way he drove without really looking at the road, and the fact that he hadn't turned to her or said a word since they'd left his house. Quickly she added, "Edward, I want you to be the one to do it."

He tensed up and started to slow the car and she took a breath, preparing for his anger or his pleading, but it was something different entirely: Jacob, in the middle of the road, standing as though waiting for them. Edward screeched the car to the halt in front of him, but Jacob just trotted off into the woods.

"He wants to talk to me," Edward explained, the first words he'd spoken to her since the vote. Before she could reply, he got out of the car, and she followed quickly, not wanting to leave these two alone. She was also curious about what Jacob wanted to say, and she was pretty sure Edward wouldn't tell her if she didn't go along- at least not all of it. She walked a little ways into the forest, Edward following close behind her. Jacob stood on a fallen log, waiting for them. He looked restless, uncomfortable, full of that boundless energy that had changed him from a bouncy kid to an agitated young man, filled with purpose.

As they approached, Jacob said, "So you're still alive for now." It was a statement, not a question.

"He thinks it's me keeping you away," Edward said, and Bella looked back at him, her brow wrinkling in confusion. Things had been hectic since she'd gotten back from Italy, and Charlie had been pretty pissed with her when she'd gotten home. She hadn't had a chance to call or see Jacob, but she felt a stab of guilt as she realized he'd been thinking she was avoiding him. The woods were chilly and damp, and even with a cardigan on she had to wrap her arms around herself to keep from shivering. Of course, neither of her companions had that issue.

"You stay the hell out of my head," Jacob growled. They all fell silent for a long moment, before Edward stepped forward tentatively.

"Jacob," he said. "I know you have something to say to me. But I want to say something to you first if that's alright." Bella watched Jacob's expression; he looked nonplussed, but he didn't cut Edward off, who continued. "Thank you. Thank you for keeping Bella alive when… I didn't."

"No," Jacob said with a small pull at one side of his mouth, not quite a smirk but pretty close. "You didn't." He sobered. "And it wasn't for your benefit, trust me."

"I'm still grateful," Edward answered. Bella watched as Jacob raised his head at him, tightening his jaw, obviously not likely the way this was going. "But I'm here now. I'm not going to leave her side until she orders me away."

"We'll see," Jacob answered, transferring his weight from one foot to the other, hardly able to keep still even for a moment. He was like a coiled spring, and Bella could see it was taking every ounce of his strength not to act on the pent up frustration and anger he head towards Edward.

Edward turned away, but Bella knew Jake wasn't finished. She could read it all over his face; he had something he wanted to say and he wasn't going to feel better until he'd said it, so she didn't move.

"Hey. My turn to talk," Jacob said, jumping down from the log as Edward stopped next to Bella. "I'm here to remind you about a key point in the Treaty."

"I haven't forgotten," Edward answered calmly, turning back to him.

"What key point?" Bella looked between the two of them, having no idea what they were talking about but positive that she was missing something very important.

"If any of them bites a human, the truce is over," Jacob answered, not taking his eyes off Edward.

His words hit her like a ton of bricks. "But if I choose it, it has nothing to do with you," she said, shaking her head.

"No. No, I won't let you," he said, taking a step toward her. "You're not going to be one of them, Bella."

"It's not up to you," she said gently.

He looked wounded. "You know what we'll do to you. I won't have a choice."

"Bella, please," Edward said. "Come."

"Wait," she answered, turning to him. She smiled at Edward, looking down at her hands. "Is he going to hurt me? Read his mind." She knew he would find nothing incriminating there, and knew Edward wouldn't be able to argue with her logic. She needed to talk to Jake; she couldn't let it end like this. She saw the resignation in Edward's eyes and turned quickly to Jacob. But when she stood in front of him, she found it incredibly difficult to look at him. She felt so terrible, so selfish; he had done nothing but care for her and try to keep her safe, and here she was trying to explain to him why she wanted to become something he feared and loathed, a vampire. How could she ever make him understand that? "Jake…" she trailed off, finally meeting his eyes and seeing the pain in them. She'd done that to him; there was no pretending she hadn't. "I love you," she said sincerely.

Jake let out his breath and he opened his mouth to speak.

"So please," she whispered, closing her eyes against his words, afraid of what he might say next, afraid of how he'd react to what she was going to say. "Don't make me choose." She couldn't look at him, but she forced herself to because she owed him that much. "Because it'll be him. It's always been him." The look on his face showed such hurt that she wished she could take those words back, but she knew she couldn't. She wasn't going to lie to her best friend.

"Bella," he said softly, the anguish slipping into his voice. She took a step back, feeing Edward move up beside her.

"Goodbye Jacob," he said in the smooth tone he used for nearly every occasion. She felt comforted by his presence beside her, but she knew it wasn't fair to Jacob, that she should have comfort and he should be alone.

Jacob grabbed Edward's arm, suddenly angry. "No, you don't speak for her," he ground out. Bella's heart broke as the two people she cared most about in the world came to confrontation yet again. Edward pushed Jacob back hard, launching him into the air, and she knew what would come next. The anger overrode Jake's control and he shifted before his feet touched the ground, growling at them as Edward started to whisk her away. But still she wasn't afraid of him, and looked back toward the huge wolf, her heart breaking for him.

"Bella, get out of here," Edward said as Jacob leapt towards them.

"Stop!" she yelled, pulling free of Edward's protective hold on her and turning back to the wolf, putting herself between them. "Stop," she said again, holding up a hand to Jacob. "You can't hurt each other without hurting me!"

She had them there; neither one of them could argue with her. And yet she felt like she was betraying Jacob, asking him to deny his true nature and do the impossible: accept her with Edward. Accept that vampires were not the enemy. She knew that wasn't something a true friend did, and yet here she found herself again, being selfish because she didn't know how not to put Edward first. The huge wolf sighed and turned away from her, bounding off into the forest.

"Jake," she said softly as he left them, but he had already disappeared into the foliage. She watched the spot where he'd been, feeling a deep sadness creeping into her heart. She wanted to cry, but she knew there was no other way.

"He's right," Edward said from behind her, the last thing she wanted to hear. "You shouldn't become what I am." Bella turned to him, her jaw set, and all she could think about was how terrible it had felt when he'd left her, how her stomach had felt like it was dissolving her body from the inside out, how dead she'd been inside. She couldn't survive that again. Didn't Edward understand? She had to do this, had to be like him, so they would always have each other. There was no other way she could be happy. The idea of being with Edward, but being human while he remained immortal, terrified her; she couldn't live with that uncertainty.

"I can't do this alone," she said firmly.

"Then please just wait." There was obvious pain in his voice, but she was determined. He owed her this, didn't he? She wasn't willing to wait anymore. She couldn't live another day with that terrible doubt hanging over her head. "Just give me five years," he said, walking towards her, shaking his head. As though five years was nothing, no big deal, rather than the eighteen hundred odd days of uncertainty she knew it would be. She couldn't stand to wait five days, how could he expect her to wait five years?

She shook her head. "That's too long." Challenging him felt strange, even a little scary, but she could see that he couldn't say no to her.

He let out his breath and considered. "Then three." She didn't need to say anything to indicate her refusal. "You're so stubborn," he said, smiling a little at her; in that smile she knew that she had won, and her heart fluttered, which made her realize she hadn't really expected such a victory.

Bella smiled a little, feeling a little freer now that she was sure he was going to agree. "What are you waiting for?"

He smiled too, and let out an amused breath of air. "I have one condition, if you want me to do it myself."

The gravity of what he was saying made her hesitate, but she wasn't going to back down now. "What's the condition?"

"And then forever," he said insistently.

She nodded. "That's what I'm asking."

His jaw tightened a little, but it was true, she'd won. "Marry me, Bella," he said, staring at her with those beautiful golden eyes of his. His expression was unreadable, maybe uncertainty about the way he'd asked or the timing of it, maybe fear that she would say no? She couldn't be sure.

Bella just stared at him, speechless, hardly able to imagine ever forming coherent words. When he'd said he had a condition she'd thought maybe he'd tell her she had to graduate first, or go to college, or move away with him and become a missing person so Charlie wouldn't have to see her as a vampire… but marriage? She'd never expected _this._

Edward started to look a bit uncomfortable, nervous even. "Bella… aren't you going to say something?"

She opened and closed her mouth twice before she was able to speak successfully. "Wow. Edward, I… wow."

He smiled a little. "Is that a yes?" But when she didn't smile back his face fell just slightly, even though he tried to hide it in a smile. "Oh."

"Edward, it's not- I don't…" She reached for his hand and held it tightly. "I love you. So much. And I want to be with you- forever."

"But?"

"But I can't… I don't… believe in marriage."

"You don't believe in marriage," he repeated flatly.

"Yeah," she answered, a little affronted. "You don't believe you have a soul."

He smiled a little. "But why don't you?" he asked, sounding more amused than hurt now.

"I don't know. It didn't… work out too well for my parents. And yeah, I mean Mom has Phil and that's great for her, but I just… it's not for me. Marriage. It's not something I want."

"You want to be with me forever…" he trailed off.

"Yeah, but marriage like… totally doesn't make sense for us anyway," she said, and seeing his puzzled expression, she barreled on, "I mean, think about it. It's a piece of paper that says we're together, but you're a hundred and nine, so obviously that's not really going to matter, right? We'll outlive any government document, and you probably won't even have any real ID to get one in the first place, so it would be fake anyway. I don't… want a fake marriage."

"Emmett and Rosalie get married every time we move somewhere," he countered.

"But that's not… I just… I don't want to get married over and over. We don't need that. Why can't we just be together forever because _we_ say so? You know?"

His smile had faded a little but he seemed to take what she was saying in stride. "Alright, Bella," he said. "But will you at least think about it? Even if we don't get a… 'fake government document'… we could still have a ceremony. You know how Alice likes any excuse for a party." He was trying to make light of the situation but she could tell she'd hurt him and she felt bad for that.

"Okay," she said, nodding quickly. "Okay, I'll think about it. I promise."

He took her hand and raised it to his lips, kissing the backs of her fingers gently. "That's all I ask," he answered softly, looking up at her intensely. She smiled, glancing down at their hands, and then he pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they walked back toward her truck. She couldn't help but glance backward into the rapidly darkening foliage, hoping for to glimpse a pair of glowing eyes among the bushes and trees, but all she saw was the woods, undisturbed.

It had been a whole week since the confrontation in the woods, since Jacob had revealed a finer point of the Treaty between the Quileute and the Cold Ones, and since Edward had proposed to her. Compared to the week before, this one had been fairly uneventful, save for one glaring fact: she had not seen or heard from Jacob. It was like the 'mono' episode all over again, except where then she had been confused and uncertain about whether he was mad at her or hurt, now she knew he was.

Bella felt terrible causing such pain to her best friend, but she hadn't meant for it to get that way. Things just… seemed to get out of hand when she was in the same place as both Jacob and Edward. Even though now she had Edward back in her life, something else was missing from it- Jacob. She needed him too, maybe not in the same way, maybe in a confusing and even a selfish way, but she needed him. She had left numerous messages, and had even gone so far as to tell his voicemail about the engagement, if only because she thought he would have to respond to _that,_ have to tell her what a mistake she was making. But he hadn't called.

The ball, as it's said, was fully in his court, but she couldn't stand to wait around for him to forgive her. She knew it was selfish to push him when he was making it abundantly clear that he didn't want to talk to her, but what if he never forgave her? What if she lost him? She couldn't let that happen. It wasn't right. She had hurt him, yes, but she still believed in a world where the two of them could be friends, she could be with Edward, and a vampire, and she wouldn't have to give up either of them. Maybe it was a fantasy world, but it was the one she preferred, and until she was dragged out of it kicking and screaming, she wasn't going to let it go.

She made an excuse to Charlie about having to stay late at school for a class project, and on Friday after school she climbed into her truck and drove to Jacob's house. She parked next to the little red house, scanning the woods in case she caught sight of him with his pack, but all seemed quiet. It had rained recently, and there was a light mist rising off the grass of the back yard. Even though the car had come to a complete stop and she'd even turned off the engine, her hands still clenched the steering wheel, her palms sweaty.

She hadn't really rehearsed what she wanted to say. She thought back to all the voicemails she'd left Jacob over the past week, realizing that the more desperate she'd become the more awkward she'd sounded. Maybe coming here was a mistake, especially if she was now going to try an impromptu speech to make things right with her best friend. She wasn't good at impromptu speeches, wasn't good at speech in general even under the best circumstances.

"Yeah, great plan, Bella," she muttered under her breath before starting the truck's engine again and throwing it into reverse. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure there wasn't anything she could run over, and then froze as she saw Billy sitting in the doorway next to the garage. The expression on his kind face was so stricken and uncomfortable that she was suddenly overcome with an irrational fear that something had happened to Jacob. She shut off the engine once again and tentatively stepped out of the driver's side and onto the gravel.

"Billy?" she asked hesitantly. "Um, hi. I was just…" The way he was looking at her made her nervous, like he was really sorry she was there and didn't quite know what to do about it. "Is Jake home?"

"He's not here right now."

"Oh. Okay. Is he with Sam? Or at Emily's or something?"

"No."

"Okay… well do you know if he's going to be home soon?"

"No," Billy said again, heaving a sigh this time.

"No you don't know or no-"

"Bella. He's not… he can't see you right now."

"Right. Okay." She bit her lip, realizing now that Jacob probably just didn't _want_ to see her, and had asked Billy to lie for him. That explained his discomfort. "I just… I really need to talk to him. Okay? I mean come on, it can't be that bad right? It's not like he's turning into a werewolf or something… again." She smiled a little, but her joke wasn't very good and Billy didn't even crack a polite smile.

"Bella, Jacob is…" he trailed off, hesitating.

"What?" Concern entered her voice; maybe she was reading this wrong, maybe he wasn't avoiding her. What if he _was_ hurt? What if he'd tried to take on Victoria and something really bad had happened? "Is Jake okay?"

"He's fine," Billy answered. "It's nothing like that. He's just… busy."

"With what?" Bella asked, impatient now. "I just need to talk to him. We had a fight. And I want… I need… to make up with him. I need things to go back to the way they were when we were building those stupid bikes in the garage." She just blurted that all out without thinking, and immediately flushed with embarrassment.

"Bella," Billy said her name for the third time, but for once he had some sympathy in his voice rather than just discomfort. "Jacob is leaving La Push. He's packing right now."

"What?" Bella managed, and fumbled for her next words. "Is this- does he-" She broke off, trying to organize her thoughts before speaking again. "Is this because of me? I mean, is he like… uncomfortable being here because of what happened? Because I came here to-"

"I don't know what happened between the two of you," Billy interrupted. "But he's not leaving because of you."

"Oh." Bella was momentarily relieved, and then her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Then why?"

Billy let out a long sigh, looking like the last thing he wanted to do was answer her question. Finally, though, he looked at her with a sympathetic look on his face. He said gently, "Jacob's getting married."

She smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Right," she said. "Yeah, of course, he's getting married." But the man's straight face threw her. "Wait… you're serious? This isn't a joke?" He said nothing, but his expression said everything. "But- how… that doesn't make any sense. Jake doesn't even… he's not even dating anyone." She searched his face for some kind of answer. "Is he?"

Billy wheeled himself backward a little into his home, looking more uncomfortable now than he had at any point during this long, awkward conversation. "Go on home now, Bella," he said gently, before shutting the door in her face.


	2. Chapter 2

For a long moment Bella just stood there, staring at the closed door and trying to make sense of the crazy conversation she'd just had. She tried to rationalize what Billy had been saying. Could Jake have lied, told his father he was getting married because he wanted to leave? That seemed pretty out there. And what about school? What about the other wolves? Was he just going to leave them, after everything? What about the way he'd been acting toward her, the care he'd shown her, their near-kiss in the kitchen? Could she really believe he had been seeing some girl on the side all that time? No. It wasn't possible. It made no sense at all.

Bella took a deep breath. She couldn't let this go. She knew Billy would be waiting for her to leave, but she just had to understand what was happening. She stepped back from the door a little in case he was still right inside, and dialed Jacob's number, hoping that for once he might pick up, considering he probably knew she was standing in his driveway right now. Maybe he'd even heard the whole conversation.

But it rang and rang, and there was no answer. Bella hung up the phone and shoved it into her pocket angrily, looking back at the closed door. She had barged into this house once, shoving past Billy to find Jacob because she had had to know what was going on with him. Actually opening the door and going in was a bit more daunting to her, and she knew she would be doubly grounded after this- there was no way Billy wouldn't tell her father she'd been here, let alone that she'd broken into the house. But what if it was true? What if Jacob really was leaving La Push? For a marriage… or for something else? She couldn't let him go without talking to him. The idea of that physically hurt her.

She put her hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath, searching inside herself for the bravery this would take. But then she drew back; the house was small, and had an open floor plan- the kitchen flowed into the living room and Jacob's room opened off that; there was no way she could make it unless Billy had for some reason gone to his own bedroom, and she knew how unlikely that was. Instead she crept around the house, crouching low as she passed the kitchen window and then turning the corner to pass the living room window, knowing Jake's would be next. She glanced inside, but then froze.

Billy was in the living room, only he wasn't alone. There were two people seated on the small couch opposite him, and neither one was Jacob. One was a young man, perhaps in his mid-twenties, and whatever he and Billy were discussing he obviously took very seriously. Next to him was a young woman, closer to Bella's age than the man, but still at least three or four years older than Jacob. Was this who he was supposedly marrying? Bella had never seen her before. She didn't know every girl on the Rez by any stretch of the imagination, but something about this young woman said she was definitely not from here. Is this why Jake was leaving?

Her face was open and inviting, her hair hung in straight glossy waves of dark brown reaching nearly to her waist, and her lips were unusual in the way that her upper lip was fuller than her lower. Her eyes were warm chocolate, begging you to fall into them, and her skin was a deep russet brown, enhanced by the simple dress of forest green that she was wearing. Her face needed no makeup to underline her beauty, so she wore none; Bella stared at her for a long moment, wondering how Jake knew her, how long this had been going on, and why he'd never told her. She hesitated, unsure as to whether she really wanted those answers… what if Jacob was someone she'd never imagined? What if he and this girl had been romancing each other all year, and Bella was some side project? Not that she wanted Jacob like that; she had Edward. But still, the idea hurt her more deeply than she would have thought.

The two men were still engaged in conversation when the young woman inside the house lifted her chin as though she heard a noise, but Bella knew she had made no sound. Still, the girl swiveled her head just slightly, and suddenly their eyes met. The girl smiled, seeming almost amused that Bella was there outside the window, but Bella quickly ducked down lower, flattening herself against the wooden slats of the house, already trying to figure out a way out of this and back to her truck before the girl could tell Billy she was there.

But then she realized nothing had happened. Tentatively, she raised her head ever so slightly above the sill of the window. The girl was still staring at her, still smiling, as though she'd been waiting for her to do that, but she obviously hadn't alerted either of her companions to Bella's presence. Bella didn't wait around to find out why; as quietly as she could she crept the rest of the distance to Jacob's room and stood up outside his window.

For a moment she didn't even knock on the glass, she just watched him. It was true what Billy had said- he was packing. Only he wasn't just throwing some clothes and a toothbrush into a suitcase. Every belonging he had was being carefully placed into boxes, and the room was already half-bare. Bella's heart sank- it was true, then. He was leaving La Push, leaving her- maybe forever.

She couldn't stand this. She had to know. Raising her hand, not caring if Billy or the two strangers in the living room overheard her, she rapped the backs of her fingers three times on Jacob's window.

His head snapped up and he froze. The pain must have been evident on her face, because he swallowed, glancing away for her as though guilty. They stood there for a moment, just staring at each other, two panes of glass the only thing separating them. Finally he set down the box he was holding and turned away from her, going and unlocking the door that led off his room onto the house's small deck. She went around and met him there, expecting him to invite her in, but he stepped outside instead, shutting the door behind him.

"So what, I can't even come into your room now?" she asked, visibly stung by his actions.

He sighed. "My dad's with some people and the walls are thin. They could overhear us."

"Some people," she repeated, not really able to look at him, backing up against the post at the edge of the railing. "You mean your fiancée."

She looked up in time to see his lips curl in a tiny smile, and then his jaw tightened a little as it faded. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"No? Your dad said you're getting married. So who is she? Why didn't you tell me about her?" When he didn't answer she crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself to combat more than just the chill. "She's pretty."

"Bella…" He looked pained. He looked like how he'd looked when he'd wanted so badly to explain the werewolf thing to her, but he couldn't. It gave her a little flutter of hope.

"Is this a wolf thing?" she asked. "Is Sam… forcing you marry her or something?"

He let out a breath of obvious frustration. "This isn't because of Sam," he answered. "He's as unhappy about this as anyone." He looked at her, searching her eyes for a long moment. "This is my decision."

"Your… wow. Okay." She tried to laugh it off, but it came out hollow. "So you've had some secret girlfriend all this time? Or did you just pick her out yesterday?"

"So it's okay for you to get married but not me is that it?" he snapped, losing patience with her.

She didn't say anything for a long moment. "I didn't- I'm sorry I left that on your voicemail. It wasn't fair. But this- Jake, this doesn't make any sense. Edward and I have been together for a while, and you- this girl… have you been with her all this time?"

Jacob let out a strangled laugh. "The time Edward was gone from Forks was longer than your entire relationship, Bella. You want to tell me how marrying him makes any more sense than this?"

Bella opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. "Edward and I… we…" She trailed off and shook her head; he was right, of course, she couldn't deny the math, but it didn't feel that way to her. Why didn't it?

"He has some power over you," Jacob said with obvious disgust. "I don't know what it is… I wish I did."

"So what, you're getting married because of me?" she asked softly, hardly able to look at him. But when she felt his eyes on her, she lifted her own to meet his. His eyes were always warm when they looked at her, even when he was angry, even if his body was profoundly different. Was she never going to see those eyes again?

"It's complicated," he answered vaguely.

"More complicated than being a werewolf?" she challenged.

He smiled a little. "Yes. In a way."

"Jake, enough with the cryptic. Just tell me. Please. You can't leave like this… I have to know what's going on."

"Come here," he said suddenly, and opened his arms to her. She stepped into his embrace, letting him wrap himself around her and hold her close. She felt the warmth of his skin, heard his strong heartbeat, felt the rise and fall of his chest. "This isn't because of you," he said softly into her hair. "This is something that came before you, and I might have agreed to it in part because I realized I can never have you, but you aren't the reason it's happening." He always told her the truth, even if it was hard for her to hear, even if it made her uncomfortable. Only for once his honesty about his feelings for her made her feel safe and cared about, rather than skittish and scared. But his answer was still pretty cryptic, and she was no less confused. She felt a hesitation in his body as though he wanted to say more, so she waited. Finally he said almost under his breath, "And the idea of you being one of them… and what I would have to do to you… I couldn't live with that. I can't."

Bella closed her eyes for a moment, shying away from his words. "So that's it?" she asked, laying her cheek against his chest. "You're just leaving La Push for some girl? Leaving school, and your dad, and the pack?" She could hardly believe it.

"It's complicated," he answered firmly.

"Try me," she said, trying to keep her voice light, but some of the urgency slipped through. "I'm not as delicate or as stupid as everyone thinks." She was getting tired of people always protecting her from truths she felt she had a right to know.

Jake pulled back from their embrace enough to look her in the eyes. "I don't think you're stupid," he said sincerely. "Or delicate. I just don't think you'd understand. You're…" he trailed off uncertainly.

It dawned on her what he was trying to say. "What, white?" she asked with a little laugh, but when he didn't even smile she knew she'd hit the nail on the head. "So this is some kind of native thing a paleface like me could never comprehend?" she said sadly.

"Comprehend maybe," he said in the gentlest tone he'd ever used with her. He smoothed the hair back from her face. "But accept… no. I don't think so."

She closed her eyes, tightening her grip on him as though she could hold him there forever and stop this from happening, even if she didn't understand exactly why she wanted to stop it. She just wanted to keep him with her. "When do you have to leave?"

"Tomorrow," he answered softly. "At dawn."

Bella inhaled sharply; that was so soon. "I thought you might come to my wedding…"

"You know I couldn't do that," he answered, tucking her head under his chin again. "Would you come to mine?"

She forced herself to tell him the truth, since he always did that for her. "Yes," she answered honestly. "It would be really hard for me. But I'd want to be there."

He smiled sadly at her, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I wish you could," he said, pulling back abruptly from their embrace. Her arms felt robbed. "You should go, Bella. I'm really glad you came here."

"Can you promise me something?" she asked, looking into his eyes, hoping he wouldn't see the desperation there, yet part of her hoping he would.

"What is it?"

"Can you… will you promise to call me? Tomorrow? Or if I call you, will you promise to pick up? I'll call early- before dawn. I just want to say goodbye… before…" She felt tears filling her eyes and she looked away from them, trying to blink them back, but a few squeezed out. Jacob reached out and took her hand, turning her around to face him. He cradled her face in both his hands, tipping it up so she would have to look at him, as he wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. In his eyes she thought she saw a sadness that matched her own, but where hers were wet his were dry.

"I'll do you one better," he said softly. "Leave your window open. I'll come to you there before sunrise, and we'll have a proper goodbye."

She stared at him, wondering if she was reading too much into his words, because she felt like there was a double meaning there. But she just nodded wordlessly, and he dropped his hands from her face.

"Then I'll see you in the morning," she said softly, and took a step off the deck and into the yard. She turned back to him, hesitating for a moment. "Don't forget."

He grinned a little. "I won't."

Bella felt herself blushing, but she had to force herself to walk away from him, back around the front of the house, past the empty bedrooms belonging to Billy and his two daughters, who'd left the Rez soon after their mother's fatal car accident. She ducked to go under the front window of the living room, resisting her desire to take one last look at Jake's fiancée, if only from the back. Once she was sitting in the driver's seat of her truck again, she knew there would be no way she could start the engine and drive away without Billy noticing, but she figured he must have known she was talking to Jacob, and he couldn't do much to her now except call Charlie to ground her further. But she didn't care about that. Grounding meant she had to stay in her room, and that was exactly where she wanted to be tomorrow morning.

* * *

After she got back from Jacob's, the evening dragged on. She tried to distract herself with television, homework, dinner, and idle conversation with Charlie, but none of it worked. The minutes seemed to inch by, and when it was finally late enough for her to go to bed, she just lay there, tossing and turning, unable to relax. It was like Christmas Eve, the anticipation of the morning and wanting it to arrive quickly staving off the one thing that could make that happen- sleep. But there was a part of her that didn't want this morning to come, either, because she knew it meant saying goodbye to Jake, possibly forever, and she couldn't stand that thought.

There was a knock at her door around one in the morning. "Come in."

Charlie stood in the doorway, looking concerned. She had caused him so many sleepless nights these last few months, and she wished he hadn't had to worry so much. Now his forehead was creased with that worry again. "Nightmare?" he asked.

"No," she said quickly. "Just having trouble getting comfortable."

He looked relieved. "Okay," he said. "Well I'm right down the hall if you need anything."

"Right," she said with a small, embarrassed smile. "I'm eighteen, not eight, remember?"

"Yeah, but I'm still here for you," he answered. "Always will be." He tapped his hand on the door a couple of times and then closed it again. She inhaled deeply, letting her breath out slowly, trying to relax. She tried to resist the urge to keep glancing at the clock, but when three o'clock rolled around and she was still breathing deeply, trying to sleep, it was starting to seem pretty hopeless.

Suddenly, Edward was standing at the foot of her bed, and she jumped.

"Sorry," he said, coming to sit on the edge of her bed. "I thought you were sleeping."

"No," she answered, letting out a huff of frustration. "Just trying really hard."

"You don't have to be afraid anymore, Bella."

"I'm not," she said quickly. "Just… restless. Really." He looked like he didn't really believe her, and she frowned. She knew she'd been a pain this year but really, couldn't a girl have insomnia without everyone getting paranoid? Edward took her hand, holding it gently in his icy grip.

"You can sleep now," he said softly. "I'll stay. No more nightmares."

Bella shook her head. "No, I wasn't having a nightmare… I just can't sleep. You don't have to stay, it's fine." She had wished for months that he would appear at her bedside, and even after they'd come back from Italy and he'd promised not to leave again, she'd find herself waking up several times during the night to make sure he was still there on the nights he visited her. This was the first time she'd ever told him to go, but she didn't want him here when Jacob showed up. There was no way that could end well.

Edward looked confused by her words. "Bella, what's going on?"

"Nothing," she answered quickly. "It's nothing… just… Charlie, you know? Like you said, he's not going to forgive you easily. And if you really want me to think about marrying you, then I don't want the two of you fighting." She talked quickly, to cover up the real reason she didn't want him here, but she could tell he wasn't buying it.

"Charlie will never know I'm here," he reminded her with a wry smile, but she could see something else in his expression- confusion, suspicion. She felt bad for lying to him, but she knew if she told him about Jake then there was no way he was going anywhere, and that was not the kind of goodbye she wanted with her best friend.

"I know," she said firmly. "But I don't like sneaking around… I feel really bad about that. He really worries about me… you know? And I think if you were really going to be his son-in-law then you should respect his rules a bit more, you know?" Quickly she added, "We both should. Especially me."

"Okay, Bella," Edward answered, a little stiffly but still with that small smile he reserved just for her. "As you wish." She felt bad using this marriage thing against him when she still really didn't think it was for her, but she would never forgive herself if Jacob left angry and it was the last time she ever saw him. Edward stood, but he hesitated, as though trying to decide whether to tell her something.

"What is it?" she asked him, glancing at the clock- 3:30am; still time.

Again he hesitated, but he sat back down next to her again so she knew he was going to tell her whatever was on his mind. Still, he seemed to struggle with what exactly he wanted to say for a long moment before he finally spoke. "You never got to the end of your birthday party," he said, surprising her. "You never got all your presents."

"Oh. Yeah… no, that's okay, Edward, you didn't have to get me anything. Really."

"I didn't," he said with a small smile. "Remember? You told me not to. But I couldn't stop my family." She smiled, knowing that was true. "But you didn't get a chance to open the present from my parents." He pulled an envelope form the inside of his pocket and handed it to her. She saw her name on the front, written in a ladylike script that must have belonged to Esme.

"Thanks, Edward," she said with a smile, relieved that this was his only agenda. "But why don't I wait until the next time I'm at your place? My mom says half the fun in giving a gift is seeing the other person open it."

Edward smiled. "They already said it was okay for you to open it now," he promised. "Besides, I think your mom would approve of this particular gift."

Her brow wrinkled in confusion but she smiled a little, curious now. She tucked her finger into one side of the flap, ready to rip it open, then thought better of it, not wanting to risk another paper cut fiasco. Instead she held the envelope up to the light and shook it, letting its contents settle to one end as she ripped off the other. She pulled out the papers inside and realized she was holding two plane tickets. "Oh," she said with surprise.

"I know, it's a bit anticlimactic now that we've already been on a plane ride together this week," he said apologetically.

"Yeah, that really wasn't a trip where I exactly got to enjoy myself," she reminded him dryly. "But what…" She opened the tickets, examining the destination on them: Florida. She looked at Edward in surprise, and he took the tickets from her.

"I thought- and my parents thought- that it would be nice if the two of us could get away. Spend some time together… the last time I met your mother it wasn't under the best circumstances. I'd like to get to know her better."

Bella smiled, genuinely touched by the offer. "That's so nice, Edward. I'm sure she'd like that… I miss her. It's been so long since I've seen her. Maybe after graduation we could go."

"I was actually thinking maybe we could go a little sooner. The weather is supposed to be overcast this weekend… that's a rare thing in Florida, or so I'm told." He smiled, but Bella's face fell.

"This weekend?" she repeated. "Um… wow. That's pretty soon right? What's the rush?"

"Nothing at all," Edward answered, but a small muscle twitched in his face that made her suspect he was lying.

"Okay… I'll think about it."

"Say you'll go," he said, his gold eyes locking onto hers insistently. "Please." His urgency unnerved her, but then his tone lightened. "It'll be fun. I promise."

"I'll totally think about it," she promised, but he didn't seem satisfied with that answer, even though he dropped the subject.

He kissed her cheek gently. "Well… I guess I'll get going then. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward," she answered, smiling at him. He went to the window, and glanced back at her.

"You left this open," he said with a frown. "I'll close it for you. You never know what kinds of things can get in." He stepped out of the window and closed it, and then he vanished. Bella looked down at the tickets in her hand. She tucked them safely into the drawer of her nightstand and lay back in bed, considering his offer. If Jacob was really going to be gone, a trip to see her mom might be just the kind of distraction she needed. But she knew Edward wasn't telling her everything. He was holding back, and that made her want to say no. If she took him to meet her mother, she wanted him to be going for that reason, not for some agenda he didn't think she was mature enough to handle.

Bella pushed off her blankets and went to the window, scanning her yard to make sure Edward wasn't hanging around to keep an eye on her. She didn't see him, so she took hold of the window frame and pulled it upward, leaving it ajar once more as Jacob had asked her to before climbing back under the blankets. She let out a long sigh, closing her eyes, trying to will her body and her mind to shut down long enough to get some semblance of rest.

* * *

She only realized that she'd fallen asleep when she woke up again, to the sound of a warm, familiar voice calling her name. "Bella… Bella…" She opened her eyes and saw Jacob standing at the foot of her bed. She looked at the clock: 4:48am. Sunrise was at least an hour away.

Pushing off the blankets, she shook her head, trying to rid herself of the groggy feeling of having not slept nearly long enough. Jacob smiled at her as she stood, self-consciously adjusting her pajamas, and went to him. "You came."

"I said I would," he answered.

She was suddenly overcome with the fear that she was really losing him, here and now, and there was nothing she could do. She reached out and laid her fingertips tentatively on his arm. "I wish I could… tie you up," she blurted, and then blushed. "That came out wrong…"

"I know what you meant," he answered, and he seemed to hesitate. "Bella… I want us to say goodbye and part ways as friends."

She nodded. "Yeah, absolutely, I want that too."

"But I have to say something," he said firmly. "It's about the Cullens."

"Jacob-"

"No, please. Let me. I need to say this because if I don't I'll regret it. And I don't want to have any more regrets about you." Her heart fluttered a little at that, but she made an internal vow that she would let him finish. He went on, "I feel like I'm leaving you to the mercy of the bloodsuckers. And I'm not just talking about the Cullens- I'm talking about that redheaded witch too… and about your decision to try and become one of them. I don't want you to get hurt. I know it's your choice, and I know I have no right to try and control you. But Bella… please… think about the choices you're making. You know once I'm gone there will be no one to protect you from the other wolves if you decide to do this." He looked at her, his expression a mixture of sadness but also resignation, as though he knew the words he spoke were futile, and he was just saying his lines. "Bella, I don't want you to die. The idea kills me. I know you think this is what you want, but what if you're wrong? I know you think he's the only person you could ever love, but Bella, even your life as it is now is long… people don't usually find their soulmates at seventeen. Even if they think they have. What if you're wrong and he leaves you? What if you're alone, dead, a vampire, with no one to love you or keep you safe?" The idea seemed to visibly hurt him, and he closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. "I'm not saying you should be with me," he said gently. "Even if that's what part of me thinks. But what I'm saying is that you're alive, Bella. You're alive and that's what you should be. I'm your friend. I care about you. But I couldn't watch you kill yourself. I won't."

"I understand," she answered softly. "I do. It's hard to explain. My feelings? They're real. I know they are."

He gazed at her sadly for a long moment. "I believe you think that," he said. "And part of me hopes you're right. I want you to be happy, Bella. Even if that means you aren't with me."

"And even if it means I'm a vampire?" she asked tentatively.

His jaw tightened, and he reached for her hand, pulling her close and pressing her palm over his heart. "How would you feel, if this stopped beating?" he asked softly. "Would that be something you'd want for me?"

"No," she answered quickly, listening to the strong, steady beats, feeling them ever so slightly with her fingertips, through the warmth of his skin. Edward had none of those qualities; she could see why Jacob couldn't understand why she wanted this. "But Jake, it's not their fault that they're dead."

"No," Jacob agreed. "But if you choose it, then Bella it would be your fault." She looked away, unable to argue. He touched her face, pulling it back around so she could look at him. There was no anger in his eyes, only a deep sorrow. "Do you remember that day you jumped into the sea, and I pulled you out?"

"Of course…"

"Remember the way your heart pounded against your chest, the fear that gripped you as the waves rolled in, the way you gasped for breath, the euphoria when you finally realized you'd be okay? That's life, Bella. I don't understand how you can want to give all that up. I'll never understand that."

"I…" She trailed off, thinking of all the feelings he'd described. "I don't, Jake. I don't want to give that up."

He looked genuinely surprised. "Then why?"

"It's not that I want to die. I don't. I want to live. But if I live, I can't be with Edward- not really. I would keep getting older, and he wouldn't. He'd just stay the same. The only way to stop that is if he changes me."

Jacob looked stricken by her words, and he pulled her quickly into his arms. "Bella," he whispered. "That's the way it's supposed to be. He's the one that's abnormal, not you. It might not be his fault but you're acting as though there's something wrong with _you."_

"Well… that's how it feels," she said stubbornly.

Jacob pulled back and threaded his fingers through her hair. "I'm really sorry he makes you feel that way," he said sincerely. "I wish he didn't."

She opened her mouth to protest, but she found she didn't have any words to do so.

"Okay, I've said what I needed to," Jacob said quietly after a long moment of silence, pulling her close again. "Now we don't have to talk about the Cullens anymore."

"Sure," she said with relief, but also with a bit of hesitation, what he'd said still unsettling her. "Thanks." She pulled back from him, keeping hold of his hand and pulling him around to her bed where they could both sit. Trying to push back the turmoil of thoughts and doubts and emotions she was feeling, she asked in a playful tone, "So how mad is Sam?"

"Mad," Jacob answered with a small smile. "But he gets it. He can't argue with destiny, I guess."

"So this is your destiny?" she asked flatly, realizing there was no way anything they talked about tonight would be easy.

"More like… it's her destiny. And I'm caught up in it."

"That girl with your father… what's her name?"

He smiled. "That's not the girl I'm talking about."

She looked at him with surprise. "It's not? Then who is she? And where's your fiancée?"

"It's-"

"Wait, don't tell me," she interrupted. "Complicated, right?"

He smiled sadly at her. "I could tell you everything, and you might even believe me, but it wouldn't change a thing."

She felt suddenly tired, and she leaned into him, letting him put his strong arms around her. It was amazing how soothing something as simple as a heartbeat could be. She hadn't realized that, since Edward was the only person she really ever got this close to, and he didn't have one.

"I came here early so we'd have time," Jacob said softly into her hair. "You look exhausted. I promise I'll wake you up and we'll still have time to say goodbye." She wanted to protest, but his embrace was so warm, his words so sincere, and she believed them instantly. She had no reason to think Jake would run off and leave her, and she was so tired… Bella felt her eyes flutter closed, and just before she drifted completely off to sleep she felt him reposition their bodies, leaning back against her headboard so he could sit a little more comfortably while she slept. She curled into him, resting her head on his chest, letting the steady beat of his heart lull her to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_Bella was running. She could feel the stalks of dead grass in the meadow snapping under her feet as she fled, terror in her heart for something she couldn't quite remember- something was chasing her, something more scary than anything she'd ever encountered before. She looked back as she ran, trying to see it through the trees, but she couldn't see anything but the foliage, rustling in the wind. Still, she knew it was there._

_Her foot caught something when she wasn't paying attention and she went down hard, her hands and knees all hitting the ground simultaneously. She raised her head, looking for what she'd tripped over, and realized the meadow had become a small graveyard, and she'd stumbled against the edge of one of the grave markers. Confused, she rose slowly to her feet, circling around to the front of it. The name on the grave was Charlie Swan. Her breath caught as she took in the other tombstones- her mother, her step-father, her friends… they were all there. And at the end, turned slightly away from the others… she slowly closed the distance between her and in, realizing that though she was afraid her breath hadn't quickened, nor was her heart pounding._

_Finally she got close enough to read the inscription on the stone: 'Isabella Marie Swan: Her suicide destroyed us all.'_

"_No," she said out loud to no one. "It wasn't a suicide." She looked back at the other stones and realized that the death dates of all her family and friends followed very closely after her own, and under each name was the same simple inscription: 'Died of grief.'_

_She fell backward, and felt her body hit something solid. In her shock at seeing all the graves she'd forgotten that something was pursuing her, and now it was too late. She whirled, and looked into the beautiful brown eyes of Jacob's wolf form. He looked more tortured and tormented than ever._

"_Jake," she said, the relief obvious in her voice. "Something's chasing me. I think…" She trailed off as he assumed an attack stance, and she took a step back. "Jake, no. Please." She touched a hand to her heart, to signal to him that she still cared for him, that he didn't have to do this. Her chest was silent, still- no heartbeat. Tears fell from the wolf's eyes as it coiled back on its haunches in an attack stance, baring its teeth. Bella put her hands over her mouth, backing away in terror, then pulled them away, feeling something wet. Her hands were covered in blood, and then she could taste it, feel it thick in her mouth- it was choking her. Bella screamed._

"Bella!" Jacob's voice cut through her dream with an urgency bordering on something else- was it anger, or fear? Her eyes snapped open, thinking he was overreacting to her nightmare, embarrassed that she'd even fallen asleep, but then she realized he was worried about more than her dream. She followed his gaze; Edward stood in the corner of her bedroom, glaring at the two of them, where Bella had been sleeping in Jacob's embrace.

"Edward," she said quickly, extracting her body from Jacob's arms. They both stood up from the bed, and she felt overrun with conflicting feelings- leftover fear from the dream, irritation that Edward was interrupting her goodbye with Jacob, and uncertainty about what was happening.

"I told you if you left your window open you never know what might get in," he said icily, his words directed at her but his stare leveled right at Jacob.

"Please," Bella said, touching Edward's arm. "Don't fight."

"So you're really leaving," he said to Jacob, ignoring her.

"Yeah," he answered. "I bet you're real happy about it."

"Please!" Bella interrupted before their verbal standoff could continue. "He is leaving and we're saying goodbye." She dropped her voice. "Edward, please."

He looked at her, finally. "Bella, I'm sorry," he said smoothly. "I was just concerned when I saw your window open again."

She felt a little flare of irritation: the one time- _the one time-_ she'd asked him to go. "Well maybe I was cold," she snapped, but then glanced away from him. It was hard for her to be confrontational with Edward in any way, and she knew just what Jacob would have to say about _that._ This kind of thing is exactly what she'd wanted to avoid.

But then Edward surprised her. His hostility died down and he looked at her pleadingly. "Are you going to come to Florida with me this weekend?"

"I… no," she said finally. "It's too soon. There's no rush… we'll go, but not this weekend. After graduation will be way less hectic."

Edward's jaw tightened. "What if I told you that you'd be safer there?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, frowning. She felt Jacob stiffen behind her but her eyes were on Edward.

"Victoria is coming back," he answered, finally letting her in on the secret he'd tried to keep from her earlier. "She's going to kill you… Alice has seen it."

"Wait, but I thought Alice saw me as a vampire?"

"Things change, Bella," Edward said gently. "That's why I want to go to Florida… to tell you the truth this weekend is a little late for my comfort, but I know Charlie wouldn't let you go while you have school." They both knew it was debatable whether Charlie would let her go period, considering his feelings about Edward, not to mention the fact that she was severely grounded. But she left all of that unsaid.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I wanted to protect you, Bella."

"You try to protect her from a murderer," Jacob interrupted, stepping toward them. "But when she asks you to help her commit suicide you're all for it."

"Jake," Bella warned.

"No, it's fine," Edward said, looking at Jacob. "For once you and I agree. I want her to stay alive too. But you know how stubborn she can be."

"Yeah, I do, but I don't censor myself around her like you do. When were you going to tell her about Victoria, huh? When you were lying on some beach somewhere? Oh wait, I forgot, you can't do that can you?"

Bella closed her eyes momentarily. "Jake, please."

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell her," Edward ground out. "My family could take care of Victoria and Bella would never have to know she was ever in danger."

She looked at him, surprised. "Hey, now wait a-"

"Oh, but she's hunting on _our_ land," Jacob snarled. "So she's _our_ responsibility. You know the Treaty. You can't hunt our prey."

"Well maybe if you and your pack of mongrels were better hunters, she wouldn't keep straying into _our_ land," Edward answered, his voice as icy as his skin.

"Okay seriously, that's enough!" Bella said as loudly and as forcefully as she dared with Charlie sleeping so close by. She put a hand on each of their chests, feeling the profound difference between them with just a touch. "Edward. You can't keep this kind of stuff from me. I have a right to make decisions about my own life. And Jake, cool it, please. As of tomorrow you're not even going to be here, so I don't see why you're so worried about hunting rights or whatever."

Jacob calmed down first, taking a step back. "I know," he said, looking at her with his ever-warm brown eyes. "But Bella, you should go. The pack will protect you from being bitten by a vampire but it's hard enough hunting her without worrying about you getting caught in the middle. I'm sure the Cullens feel the same way," he added in a grating tone.

Edward nodded almost imperceptibly. "So you see?" he asked Bella in a friendly voice. "I was right all along, we should go to Florida for the weekend, and while we're gone the threat to you can be eliminated." He started to put his arm around her, but she stopped him.

"No wait," she said. "Hang on. Just because Jacob agrees with you doesn't mean I do. And just because you think this is best doesn't mean I think so too." She swallowed, trying to find her words. She looked at Edward and saw the confusion in his golden eyes. "Last time you decided to do something for my benefit I didn't really see it that way, you know?" She saw Jacob smile just a little, but she wasn't saying this for him, she was saying this for herself. "So just hang on and let me think about this for a second."

Both boys waited, but there was definite tension in the room while she tried to make up her mind. And then, even once she'd decided what she wanted, she was so surprised by her own decision that she still didn't speak for a bit. They both seemed incredibly uncomfortable standing here together, waiting for her, but she wanted to be sure before she spoke.

Finally she said, "I'm going with Jacob."

"What?" Edward and Jacob both said in unison.

"I'm going with Jacob," she said again, more firmly this time.

"Bella," Edward said. "That doesn't make any sense."

"No, it makes perfect sense," she said. "Victoria wants to kill me because you killed James- that's what Laurent told me, that she wants to get back at you for killing her mate or whatever, so she wants to kill yours. Right? Well then if you and I leave town, who's to say she won't follow us? Why wouldn't she? If I go with Jake, you'll still be here to hunt her down with your family, and she'll never know where I am. She doesn't know about me and Jake." Quickly she added, "Our friendship, I mean."

Edward gritted his teeth but said nothing, and she knew she had him; she was right and he couldn't deny it. He glared at Jacob, and then looked at her. "Fine," he said. "But only until Victoria's taken care of."

"Bella," Jacob said gently. "I didn't say you could come with me."

"Please? You know I'm right, it's the only why I'll be safe." She smiled at him. "And then… well, we wouldn't have to say goodbye right now."

"It's more complicated than that," he said, shaking his head.

"Jake, please, I…" she trailed off, glancing at a very obviously unhappy Edward. "I really want to go. Okay? I won't get in your way. I'll leave as soon as it's safe. You said you wanted to protect me, right? This is the best way."

"He doesn't think his wife's family is going to like you," Edward said, and Jacob's head snapped to glare at him.

"You stay out of my head, leech!" he snapped. Bella touched his arm lightly, trying to calm him, and it seemed to work somewhat.

"Then I'm staying here," she said to them both. "Either I go with Jake or I stay. I don't care what either of you think about that." She went back to her bed and sat down.

Jacob smiled a little, looking almost a little proud of her for standing up for herself, and she couldn't help but smile back, feeling a little proud herself.

"What about Charlie?" Edward asked.

"Charlie likes me," Jacob answered with a smirk. "I don't think he'll have any problem with her spending time with me."

Edward ignored him, turning his attention back to Bella. He walked over to her, putting his hand on her cheek. She looked up at him, her brow furrowing a little, not sure what he was going to do or say. "You're so stubborn," he said finally, in a soft voice.

"This isn't me being stubborn," she said, pulling away from him a little. "This is the best choice. You know it is."

"I just want you safe," he said after a moment, with some resignation in his voice. "Jacob took care of you while I was away… I already thanked him for that. I have no doubt he can take care of you again. But I swore I wouldn't leave your side."

"Yeah, you did," Bella said quietly. "You said unless I ordered you away. So I guess this is me doing that." She swallowed. "This is the only way you have a chance of catching Victoria. And then I can come home and not have to be afraid of her anymore. Right? That's what we both want."

Edward nodded, but she could tell her words had hurt him. He kissed the top of her head, stroking her cheek lightly with one hand as he did so. Then, without even a glance in Jacob's direction, he was gone.

"Bella," Jacob said gently, sitting down gingerly on the bed next to her. "You can't just come with me."

"You really don't think your…" She could barely get the word out, but she forced herself. "You wife's… family wouldn't like me?"

He hesitated. "No, it isn't that." He smiled a little, warmly, putting her a bit more at ease. "Who couldn't like you, Bella? I just don't know if they'd accept you."

"Why not?"

He stood. "I wish you could come. I really do."

She stood as well. "Then let me. Please, Jake."

"It's not so simple."

"Yeah, well nothing is, right? That's like a standard line from you now." She looked away in disappointment, and a long silence stretched between them.

"Two conditions," Jacob said finally. She looked at him, and for a moment had a strange sense of déjà vu, a wild half-expectation hitting her that he would propose as Edward had, but she knew he wouldn't.

"Okay. Sure. What are they?"

"One, Charlie has to agree," he said. "And two, so do my escorts."

"Escorts?"

"The people you saw with my dad earlier. Where we're going is secret, so they have to agree to take you there."

"Secret?" she repeated. "Where is it?"

He smiled a little. "If I knew that, it wouldn't be much of a secret, would it?"

"Wait… you don't even know where you're moving to?" she asked, dumbfounded.

Jacob shook his head slowly. "I told you that you wouldn't get it…"

"Okay," she said. "Sorry. You're right. I'll just go with it. So, secret location- got it. So if they say yes, it's yes?"

"If they say yes, then it's yes," he agreed. "But Bella… I really don't think they're going to."

"Let me work on Charlie first," she said. "Stay here for a second." She glanced at the clock: 5:41am. Only a little earlier than Charlie normally got up.

Jacob stayed as she requested, and she padded softly down the hall to the bedroom where her father lay snoring. She pushed the door open, knocking softly as she did so. Charlie jumped awake, halfway out of the bed before he recognized her.

"Oh," he said, sinking back into the blankets and yawning. "Hey Bells. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she answered, smiling a little. "Everything's great. Sorry to wake you."

He found his watch on the bedside table and glanced at it. "Hmm… well, I'm supposed to be up in a half-hour anyway." He sat up, rubbing his eyes. "What's up?"

"Um… so, Jake just called. I guess the Rez school has a few days off and he's going on a fishing trip. He wanted to know if I could come."

"Well, does your school have a break?"

"No," she answered, knowing if she lied about that he could easily verify her story and she wanted to minimize the lying. "But we're way ahead on that group project I told you about, and that's all we're really doing right now." That was the lie.

"How long would you be gone?"

"Just a couple of days."

"Hmm…" He sighed. "Do the words 'grounded for the rest of your life' mean so little to you?"

"No," she said. "They don't. I get it. I know you're mad, and I screwed up. Big time. But I thought maybe… because it was Jake… Well, you know it was really hard for me when Edward was gone. And Jacob… you know, took my mind of things, like you said. I guess I… um… I want to take your advice, you know?"

"Advice?" he asked sleepily.

"Yeah," she answered. "To, um, you know… learn. About loving what's good for me."

Understanding dawned on him and he eyed her in a new light. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nodded, shifting her weight from one foot to another. "Why not, right?"

"Well Bells, I think that's a good thing. I really do. Jake's a nice kid. Billy raised him well and he thinks the world of you- always has."

Bella nodded, a little uncomfortable. "Totally. So can I go?"

Charlie let out a long breath. "Yeah, you can go," he said with resignation. "But only on the understanding that you're grounded for two lifetimes when you get back."

She smiled a little. "Okay. Yeah, absolutely. I get it. Thanks Charlie." At his nod she went on quickly, "Well, maybe you should get back to bed… you've still got at least a half hour of useable sleep left. Jake's going to pick me up as soon as I call him, so..."

He nodded thoughtfully. "This is good, kiddo," he said. "I know I don't have any right to comment on your relationships, but even if Jacob's just a friend… he's been a good one."

"Uh-huh," she said. "Okay, Charlie. I'll see you in a couple of days." He was already under the blankets again before she'd left the room, returning quickly to her bedroom. As she reached the door she felt a sudden stab of fear that Jacob would be gone, but when she turned the knob and opened it he was sitting on her bed, waiting.

"He said yes," she told him, seeing the obvious surprise- and even a little hope- in his face. "So that's one down."

"Pack a few things," he said with a smile. "I have to hurry and get home. Come with me and we'll see what they say." As she started grabbing some clothes and shoving them into a bag, he added, "You know your dad will check with my dad and realize you lied."

She hesitated. "I know," she said. "Sometimes it seems like that's all I do with Charlie, doesn't it?" She turned back toward him, and jumped as her nose nearly hit his chest; she hadn't even heard him move.

"I wish things would be different," he said softly. "I really do. I hope you know that, Bella."

"I do," she answered. "Really." He stepped back a little, allowing her to finish packing, and then he led her downstairs. His Rabbit was parked a few houses down, and as they walked towards it Bella scanned the tree line and the yards of her neighbors, but she didn't see Edward. She knew that meant nothing though, and he could still be here. Jacob had a small bounce in his step, and she wondered where that came from, if he was excited about her coming with him, or if he was excited about his upcoming marriage. She still couldn't believe he was actually going to be someone's husband, that gawky kid she'd played in the sandbox with. But then, she had an offer on the table that would make her somebody's wife- maybe she needed to stop seeing Jacob as so young. She was pretty sure no one else saw him that way anymore.

* * *

The little red house that Jacob had called home all his life was lit up when they arrived with the first hints of sunrise looming at one end of the horizon, just the barest hint of an orange haze slowly taking over the dark. He parked the Rabbit in the driveway and led her toward the house.

"Don't take it personally if there's some hostility," he warned her gently. "You being here isn't exactly part of the plan. I don't know what will happen."

"Am I in danger?" she asked, suddenly wondering who these 'escorts' were and just how much hostility he was expecting.

Jacob stopped, and turned to face her so there would be no doubt that she would hear him and understand. "Bella," he said. "You're never in danger as long as you're with me. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise." She gazed at him, her heart doing that little flutter it always did when he said something like that. She smiled a little, but it faded as she was struck with the thought that it would never do that if she became a vampire.

"Should I wait outside or something?" she asked as they reached the door.

"No," he said, opening it. "Stay close to me."

She resisted the urge to take his hand, and then took a deep breath as she stepped through the doorway with him. Jacob's father sat in his chair near the window, and looked up as they came in. The two 'escorts,' as Jacob had called them, turned to look as well, but Bella's attention was on the smile frozen on Billy's lips, half-formed. He looked at his son for some kind of explanation.

"That redheaded vampire that's been giving us trouble," Jacob said. "She's coming back. And she's after Bella. I offered her my protection," he lied, turning now to the escorts, a questioning look in his eyes. "I thought she could make the journey with us and stay safe in your country for a few days before returning home."

"Absolutely not," the male escort said immediately, standing up, his jaw set in anger. He looked at Bella with such hatred she was physically frightened, and she took half a step back, but Jacob gave her a reassuring look. The woman who had smiled at her while she hunkered underneath the living room window was doing the same thing now, and seemed completely unsurprised and unconcerned at Bella's presence. It made her feel a little better.

"Veyo's right, Jacob," Billy spoke up, wheeling over to them. "Bella, does your father know you're here?"

"Yeah," she said. "He does actually. He said I could go." At Billy's doubtful expression, she mumbled, "Well… I told him it was a fishing trip."

The one they'd called Veyo turned to his female companion and said something very quickly to her, but even if he'd slowed his speech down Bella still wouldn't have been able to understand him, because he definitely wasn't speaking English. It wasn't like any language she'd heard before, and it included hand gestures as though they were inseparable from the words he spoke, not an accessory like sign language but actually part of the words. The woman replied in the same language, and Veyo obviously didn't like her response, as he continued staring at Bella with an expression in his eyes so dark she was convinced he would have killed her if they'd been alone.

"You should go home," Billy said gently.

"Wait," the female escort said, standing up for the first time. Bella was surprised that all the men in the room fell silent, and even Veyo seemed to calm just a little as she walked over to Bella. She stopped in front of her, smiling again. It was a warm smile, inviting, soothing and kind. It reminded her of her mother, even though there was nothing in this girl's exotic face that resembled Renee in the slightest. But it was the smile itself, the warmth in it, the accepting. Bella felt no fear for this woman.

"Please kneel," she said cheerfully, as though her request was not strange at all. Bella glanced sideways at Jacob, who looked a little tense but gave the smallest nod, his gaze reassuring her that everything was fine. Bella did as she asked, getting down somewhat awkwardly onto the floor. The woman smiled at her, and raised both her hands, placing one on each side of Bella's face, the bottoms of her fingers following the line of her jaw, her thumbs hovering just under her eyes. Bella glanced at the men, noticing that each one looked curious, expectant, and in Veyo and Billy's eyes she saw almost reverence. Was something supposed to happen? She looked back at the woman, who still had a small smile on her lips. "Please don't break eye contact," she said in that same cheerful voice.

"Sorry," Bella answered softly, he own voice full of the uncertainty she felt.

The young woman looked deep into Bella's eyes, far longer than most people would consider polite or comfortable, and Bella could feel the urge to squirm rising, but she forced herself to ignore it. Luckily, the woman chose that moment to speak. "What is your name?"

"Bella," she said, and then realized she was waiting for more. "Bella Swan."

"And what is your business with Jacob Black?"

"Business? I don't- I mean I'm not sure… what you mean."

"Why do you wish to come to our lands?"

She frowned, since Jacob had already explained this, but she repeated the explanation in her own words anyway, "There's a vampire who wants to kill me… and she's coming here. Soon. If I came with you then I could be safe while she's dealt with."

"Any other reason?"

Bella blushed. "Well… um… Jake is my best friend…" She trailed off, embarrassed with all these eyes on her.

"And?" the girl asked, still friendly, but Bella was starting to feel a little interrogated.

"I guess… I want to spend more time with him. This is all happening so fast... him leaving. The marriage."

"Do you mean us harm?"

"No," she answered immediately. The girl's stare was getting extremely unnerving, even though the warmth hadn't left her eyes, but Bella forced herself not to look away. "Not at all."

The woman abruptly released her face. "Thank you," she said sweetly, before turning back to Veyo. "She comes with us."

He looked thoroughly pissed at this turn of events, but he gave a brusque nod and turned quickly, stalking into Jacob's room. The young woman turned as well, going to the bathroom, leaving Bella alone with Billy and Jacob. She heard a door slam in Jacob's room and knew Veyo had gone outside; sure enough, she saw him stomping around the yard angrily. But she was more worried about what had just happened and what this meant.

"So… can I come?" she asked tentatively. "I mean it seems like she said yes, right? Obviously Veyo isn't so excited about it, but it was a go from her… right?"

Billy looked about as happy as Veyo had, but he gritted his jaw and nodded. "For some reason Mitsis wants you to come," he said, naming the woman for the first time. "So you'll go."

"I don't mean to… like… cause problems," she said apologetically. Billy nodded at her, but she could tell he wasn't happy, and she felt bad about that. She was sticking her nose in business it didn't belong in, she knew that, but she couldn't help it. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to Jake yet and this was a way they could have more time together. Bella glanced over at Jacob. "What was with the cross-examination?" she asked. "And why'd she have to stare at me the whole time?"

Jake smiled, opening his mouth to respond, but then Bella noticed some movement out the window behind his head. Veyo was standing at the edge of the yard, clearly fuming- then he transformed into a full-blown wolf just as she had seen Jacob and the other boys do. He ran off into the woods and she gasped; it was still shocking to see that, but even more shocking was the fact that Veyo wasn't a Quileute, wasn't from here, and yet he could do what Jake could do. How?

"Jacob!" she gasped, interrupting any answer he'd been about to give her, pointing outside. He followed her gaze and gritted his teeth a little.

"He just needs to cool off," Billy told her.

"Wait, you know that he's… like that? Like you?" she asked Jacob, then instantly felt stupid. Why hadn't she expected this? Jacob was running off to marry some mystery girl, of course there must be a reason, maybe it was that she was like him, a werewolf, someone he could really fall for because she understood him like no one ever could… like Bella never could. She almost blushed at her own train of thought. She didn't want Jake that way, but if she was completely honest with herself, part of her wanted _him_ to want her that way. She felt so selfish.

"Yeah," Jacob answered her. "I know." Mitsis emerged from the bathroom, looking out the window to see what they were talking about.

"We can all do that, Bella," she said warmly, smiling at her once more.

"You too?" she asked, surprised as Mitsis nodded. "Oh. But I thought only… um…" She trailed off, not wanting to cause offense.

"You thought only boys could do it?" Mitsis asked, her eyes dancing playfully. "So it may be with the Quileute, though that isn't always the case here either. But where I come from, women as well as men express the gene."

"Oh," Bella said, taking this in stride. "Right. Okay." Her curiosity was seriously piqued but she didn't want to step on any more toes than she already had by asking more dumb questions.

"Veyo will cool off and then return to us," Mitsis declared, seeming completely unconcerned with this turn of events. "We'll have to leave later than I intended." She went back to the couch and sat down, curling both feet up under her and sitting completely still, seeming to need nothing more than the air around her to be content. Bella glanced nervously at Jacob, who was watching Mitsis with a mixture of awe and uncertainty.

"I'm kind of glad you're not marrying her," Bella whispered to him under his breath.

"Yeah, me too," he said, flashing her a grin. She returned the smile and then excused herself to go have a shower, trying to make the best of the extra time while still avoiding Billy's disconcerting gaze, somewhere mixed between pity and envy, scorn and fear.


	4. Chapter 4

After her shower, Bella felt a bit calmer, and she hoped some of the tension about her being here would have faded. Once she emerged, she noticed Billy seemed a little more at ease as well. She toweled her hair, surveying the room; Billy was sitting near the window, reading a magazine. Mitsis was still sitting where she'd been when Bella left the room, seemingly doing nothing, and Jacob was in the kitchen making himself something to eat. She smiled a little; he was always so hungry, and she knew it was a wolf thing as well as a teenage boy thing. Tentatively, she took the seat next to Mitsis, who turned her head to smile at her.

"You're worried about Veyo?" she guessed as Bella's eyes scanned the tree line in the back yard.

Bella nodded, shrugging a little. "I think he hates me."

"He won't harm you," she answered reassuringly. "So fear not."

"Okay… I'll try to… fear not," she answered lamely, and she heard a little chuckle from Jacob's direction. She shot him a glare, but couldn't help but smile before turning back to Mitsis. "So… are you guys, like, related to the Quileute or something?" she asked. "You said you carried the same werewolf genes."

"Yes, we are distantly related. Have you ever heard of Taha Aki?"

Bella shook her head. "No."

"Mitsis, stop," Veyo's icy voice said from the doorway of Jacob's bedroom. He looked a little scuffed up from his run in the woods, and he was breathing hard, but he definitely still had enough energy to glare daggers at Bella.

But the young woman ignored him. "He was the founder of the Quileute tribe, essentially," Mitsis explained. "He ruled for many years here, and was the first who didn't age. His spirit co-existed with the spirit of the wolf. And when his male children ceased to be children, they too could change their forms at will, and run as wolves in the forest. That is the very abridged version," she added with a smile. "But so it has been for the Quileute, ever since."

"And for you?" Bella asked, fascinated. She watched Veyo walk into the kitchen and grab half of Jacob's sandwich, ripping off a bite with his teeth. She was surprised that Jacob didn't stop him or protest. "I thought you said girls could do it too? But it was only Taha Aki's male children?"

"Well, to answer that I will have to tell you another story," Mitsis answered. "Taha Aki had a favoured daughter. Her name was-"

Veyo slammed his hand down on the counter, making everyone but Mitsis jump. "What are you doing?" he snapped. "You tell all this to an outsider?"

"She travels to our lands," Mitsis answered calmly, turning her head to look at him. "She'll find out this and more, soon enough."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Veyo said, stalking toward Bella. The naked hatred in his eyes made her heart quicken, and she flattened herself into the couch. Jacob ran after Veyo, grabbing his shoulder and whirling him around again.

"Leave her alone!" he snapped. Veyo's mouth twisted in anger as he practically growled at Jacob. Bella saw faint ripples traveling like waves under the skin of each of them.

"Calm down or outside, boys!" Billy called. Jacob drew back, straightening his body and closing his eyes for a moment to quiet his anger. Veyo clenched his fists at his sides, trying to expel his rage that way. Eventually, they both calmed down enough that they could let go of their standoff. Veyo retreated to the chair near Jacob's room and Jacob went back to the kitchen.

"Don't feel you shouldn't be here because of this," Mitsis said, turning back to her. No part of what had just happened had seemed to faze her in the slightest. "For you are meant to come with us. I know it."

"Well, I'm glad somebody approves," Bella muttered, mostly under her breath, making the other girl's face break into one of those warm, semi-amused smiles.

"It will be nice to have another woman on our journey," she said.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked. "I mean, Jacob said it was a secret. But can you at least give me a ballpark?"

"North," Mitsis answered her. "And a little West."

"North and a little West," Bella repeated, thinking back to geography class and trying to guess where they might be headed. "Are we crossing the border?"

"Yes."

"Oh…" she trailed off, trying to imagine how angry Charlie would be that she not only lied about where she was going, but ended up in another country as well. But he hadn't found out about Italy… so maybe it would be okay.

"If you'd rather stay here that's fine with us," Veyo spoke up, anger dripping from his voice.

Bella looked at him with irritation. "What did I ever do to you?"

"It's not you," Veyo spat. "It's your kind. You can't be trusted."

"My… kind?" she answered, staring at him. She'd never experienced such overt racism directed at her before. "Hey, now wait-"

"We should go now," Mitsis declared, standing up. "We've delayed long enough, and they'll be waiting for us. Bella, please come with me." She started for the door, and Bella glanced at Jacob, who wasn't moving. He gave her a reassuring smile so she followed the young woman, hearing Veyo fall into step behind her. She really didn't like having her back to this guy, but she forced herself to trust everyone who kept telling her he was harmless. Still, his comment had made her blood boil.

* * *

Outside, Mitsis led her toward a dark blue SUV parked to one side of the driveway, Veyo following close on their heels. Bella felt nervous, but she knew Jacob was probably having a moment with his father, and she had no right to interrupt their private goodbye. She resolved to wait patiently until he was ready, and leaned back against the side of the SUV, stealing curious glances at her two companions. Veyo looked like he wanted to kick something, and Mitsis was gazing at him, smiling in her slightly amused way, as if she was remembering a private joke.

Bella watched as Veyo glanced at the sun, now much higher in the sky than it had been when she and Jacob had arrived, and then he glanced back at the house. He was definitely restless, and definitely in a hurry. He started back toward the house, but Mitsis reached her hand out, catching his arm.

She said something in their language to him, touching her palm to her own heart and then sweeping her hand toward him in a little arc, the back of her hand coming to rest against his heart. Bella watched as Veyo relaxed a little, but he still looked agitated, little muscles tightening here and there in his face. Mitsis raised both her hands and placed them over her eyes for a moment, then spread them apart, holding them vertically in the air to border the space between their faces, saying something else in their language. Veyo relaxed further as Bella gazed at this exchange, fascinated.

The front door opened, making her jump, but the other two just turned calmly to the SUV and climbed in, Veyo behind the wheel and Mitsis next to him. Jacob, a bag slung over his shoulder, smiled at Bella as he approached. She studied his face to see if he'd been crying or how he might feel about all this, but she couldn't read his expression beyond the warmth it usually held for her. Billy had wheeled himself out of the house and sat in the doorway, his hand raised in a wave. Bella raised her hand in return, even though she knew it wasn't aimed at her. Then she and Jacob climbed into the backseat of the car together, and Veyo pulled out of the driveway.

If there was one thing Bella definitely preferred about werewolves, it was the fact that they didn't drive at insane speeds like vampires did. Her stomach could only handle so much of that, but Veyo took the highway at a reasonable speed, smooth and steady. She was relieved he could at least do this calmly.

"Jake," she whispered suddenly. "I just remembered I didn't bring my passport." She knew she couldn't get over the border without it, and she was already trying to formulate a plan to get in and get it without alerting Charlie. She just hoped he'd already be at work by now.

"You won't need it," Veyo spoke up, the first words he'd said to her that didn't drip with venom.

"But I thought-"

"Don't worry, Bella," Jacob said gently. "Trust me." He reached over and took her hand, giving it a squeeze before starting to release it again. But she held on, squeezing back, and he looked at her, giving a little smile. He twined their fingers together and she took comfort in the warmth of his hand. She thought back to the first time he'd taken her hand, outside the movie theatre before he'd changed for the first time, and how uncomfortable it had made her feet. She'd been afraid that they wanted different things, and letting him hold her hand would be like leading him on. But now it felt somehow right, and it was nice to know he still cared enough about her to want to hold her hand, despite all the craziness that was going on.

"It's about a five-hour drive to the border with a half-hour ferry ride in the middle," Veyo told them. "So make yourselves comfortable."

Bella didn't think she could possibly feel comfortable in this angry man's presence, but Jacob's hand definitely helped.

"Now that Bella is along we'll have to revise our plans for crossing the border," Mitsis said, turning her head to smile at Bella. "We had planned to cross through the mountains in wolf form."

"Oh. Yeah, that might be… um… hard for me," she said with a blush, feeling not for the first time that she wished she had supernatural powers too. Jacob squeezed her hand, flashing her a little grin.

"I'll go on ahead," Mitsis declared, "and announce our arrival. Veyo will stay with the two of you to cross in human form via the same route."

Bella couldn't miss the momentary tightening of Veyo's hand on the steering wheel, but he nodded his assent and didn't protest.

Cautiously, Bella asked, "So… um… you were telling me about Taha Aki's daughter?" She hoped she was pronouncing the name right.

Mitsis brightened, nodding at her. "Yes, I was," she agreed, turning around fully in her seat and obviously settling in for a nice long story. "Taha Aki had three wives, and many daughters. As you've pointed out, the gene that he was able to pass down was dominant in his male children, and recessive in his daughters, so that only the boys shifted. But as with any gene, mutations can occur that can change how it is expressed, and that's what happened with Maha Kia. All of Taha Aki's daughters were able to pass the gene onto their children, but she was the first who was able to shift into a wolf herself, as her brothers did. Other girls here and there were also able to transform, but she was the first to do so by many years."

"I bet that really threw everyone," Bella said, nudging Jacob. "How would you guys take it if a girl joined your pack?"

Jacob looked like he'd never considered the possibility before.

Mitsis giggled. "It's been a long time since a Quileute woman has shifted."

"Actually… all due respect," Jacob spoke up with a little smile, "but no Quileute woman has ever shifted."

"That's not true, Jacob," Mitsis said with a shake of her head.

Jacob frowned. "No it is true… I would have known about it. My great-grandfather used to lead the pack."

"I know," she answered with a warm smile. "And a woman wolf never ran with him when he was Alpha. That will be an adjustment that will be made in this generation."

"What?" Jacob asked. "A girl on the Rez is going to shift?"

Mitsis nodded gravely. "Yes. I've seen it."

"Wait," Bella interrupted, glancing sideways at Jacob. "Is she like Alice?" She looked at Mitsis. "You see the future?"

"I see the future that stems from one individual," she answered.

"But she has to touch your face," Jacob explained. "And look into your eyes."

"Yes," Mitsis added with a wink to Bella. "I'm sorry if my methods can be a little intimidating or uncomfortable."

"I thought you were like a human lie detector or something," she admitted.

"Yes, in a manner of speaking," Mitsis replied. "If what you had told me was vastly different from the future I saw you creating, then I would have known that your intentions were different than your words."

Bella nodded thoughtfully; it made sense. "But wait," she said. "Go back… you said that no female werewolves ever ran with Jacob's great-grandfather. But you also said the Quileute women have changed in the past. So what, they hid it from everybody?"

"No," Mitsis answered. "Near the end of Taha Aki's life as a human being, he and his family ran into the Cold Ones for the first time. After the battle that claimed the life of many people that he loved, the way the wolf gene was expressed among the Quileute was profoundly changed. Their changes became dependent on the Cold Ones, so if they weren't a present threat their land, the children of the Quileute would remain human. If the Cold Ones returned, so would the ability to shift, so that the land would always be protected."

"Yeah, that's why my dad never changed," Jacob said with a nod. "And why Sam and me and the others did."

"Exactly," Mitsis agreed. "The Quileute were warriors, and the sole purpose of their wolf forms had become to fight the Cold Ones and protect their land from another battle like the one that claimed Taha Aki's true love. Now their women did not need to shift anymore."

"But they still did?" Bella asked.

"The human body is remarkable, but it is not a perfect system," Mitsis allowed. "It still happened, on occasion, that a woman felt the presence of the Cold Ones, and shifted into the form of a wolf."

"But why haven't I ever heard of this?" Jacob asked doubtfully.

"Because all the girls who shifted were sent away," she answered simply. At Bella's raised eyebrows, she shook her head. "Don't misunderstand me. They weren't banished. They were fostered. They came to live with us and became part of our people, and we sent some of our sons to live with the Quileute in return, who become part of their people. In this way, our two nations became forever joined. That is part of the reason why Jacob is here now."

Bella and Jacob were both silent, taking all of this in.

"It has been a long time since a woman came to us from the Quileute," Mitsis added thoughtfully. "The time for that particular custom has now passed. When the girl who lives among you now shifts- and it will be soon- she will remain. She will be the first to run with your pack, the first woman warrior to protect these lands as her brothers do."

"That's crazy," Jacob said, shaking his head with a little smile. "Sam's going to flip. I wonder who it is." But Mitsis just smiled knowingly, not offering an answer.

"So what happened with Maha Kia?" Bella asked.

"Oh yes," Mitsis said. "Maha Kia. As I've said, she was the first of Taha Aki's daughters to shift, and she was also his favourite. But she wasn't happy in these lands. Her spirit was restless, wanting to travel to another land, one she saw many times in her dreams. Finally she left, long before the battle with the Cold Ones, to find her own path in life. She headed North, and slightly West." Mitsis smiled. "She settled, and founded a new nation- the one we travel to now. Her descendents and all those they took to foster or offered sanctuary now call that nation home."

"She left before the battle," Jacob explained to Bella. "So her people aren't bound to transform only because of vampires."

"We retain the spirit of the transformation," Mitsis agreed. "We transform to be closer to nature, for the joy of it. We can and do protect our lands but it is not the sole reason for our shape shifting."

Bella was silent for a long moment, absorbing the story, wanting very badly to ask about Jacob's marriage, but she couldn't bring herself to. She just looked down at her hands, finally pulling her right one back from Jacob. She traced the lines on her palms with her eyes, leaning back in her seat a little. She turned her head to the side, watching as rain began to streak the window. The car coasted along the highway smoothly, and then Mitsis turned on the radio, flipping to a jazz station. The combination of the music and the drive overcame Bella's ability to fight her exhaustion, and slowly she felt herself being lulled off to sleep.

* * *

_Bella was walking through the familiar forest that surrounded the town of Forks, and this time she wasn't afraid. It was a cool autumn day but she was dressed for the weather, so the chilly breeze was refreshing to her and nothing more. She followed the path as she usually did, heading in the direction of the meadow where she had lain with Edward so many times, both in and out of dreams. All was quiet._

_ Suddenly she stopped by a large oak tree, noticing for the first time a path diverging from this one to the right, almost like a deer trail, half-obscured by brush but definitely there. She glanced up the regular path and saw a girl standing some distance away. The sun was behind her so she squinted, trying to see her face, but it was too bright. She blinked, and suddenly the girl was standing directly in front of her. Bella jumped in surprise, but she wasn't scared._

"_Who are you?" she asked. The girl's face was turned slightly away from her, so that her brown hair fell in a curtain to obscure her face. Bella asked again, "Who are you?" When she didn't respond, Bella walked around her, trying to catch a glimpse of her face, but the girl seemed to turn at the same rate, so that no matter how fast Bella ran in a circle around her, she couldn't make out any more features than before._

_Finally, Bella stopped in front of the girl again. Once more she asked, "Who are you?"_

_Suddenly, the girl turn and finally Bella could see- it was her own face, pale as ivory, her brown eyes mostly hidden beneath a ring of gold, and the longer they stood there, staring at each other, the more Bella noticed little things. She wasn't breathing, and no pulse beat at her neck. Her gaze was long and blank._

"_You…" Bella trailed._

"_You…" the girl- her vampire self- echoed._

"_Are you okay?" Bella asked, frowning._

_Suddenly, vampire Bella grabbed Bella's shoulders hard, giving her a shake. "Don't do it!"_

"_What?" Bella asked, frightened for the first time. She tried to escape from her vampire self's icy grip. "Don't do what?"_

_Vampire Bella started crying, and her tears were blood. Slowly, they rolled down her face in red beads and dripped from the sides of her face, staining the white shirt she wore. "Don't kill yourself."_

_"T__hat's not what I'm doing," Bella protested, twisting from her other self's grip._

_The vampire Bella threw her head back and started screaming, the most bone-chilling, blood-curdling scream that Bella had ever heard. She felt sick to her stomach, terrified, and she knew she couldn't stand there another minute and listen to that. She whirled, running back down the path. As she passed the oak tree she remembered the deer trail and veered left._

_The sound disappeared the moment she did so. Slowly she stopped, and looked back- she could still see the vampire version of herself standing nearby, her mouth still open, but Bella couldn't hear anything anymore. She started to feel a bit warmer._

_Slowly, cautiously, she started following the deer path, wondering what horrors it might lead to. Then her foot caught on a tree root and she stumbled, pitching forward off the path; off-balance, she broke through a curtain of ivy hanging between two trees and landed flat on her face. Slowly she stood, taking in her new surroundings._

_She stood in a small clearing, ivy hanging down between trees to form a sealed ring. Three fallen logs laid on the ground in a rough triangle, and the whole clearing was blanketed in thick moss. Bella couldn't resist taking her shoes off, and she climbed over one of the logs to feel it squish under her toes._

_The ivy on the opposite side of the clearing parted, and Bella smiled as Jacob walked through it. He was also barefoot, and walked over to her, putting his arms around her and pulling her close, lifting her off her feet a little._

_She giggled. "What was that for?"_

"_I'm just so happy you're okay," he answered, setting her down again. "I was so worried you'd become a monster."_

"_No, that wasn't me, that was… someone else."_

_He stroked her cheek, and then laid the back of his hand against her neck, feeling her pulse beating there. "You're so alive," he whispered. "Bella, you've been idolizing death so long, do you even remember how amazing life is?" Before she could answer, he lifted her chin a little and his face leaned in towards hers._

_Her eyes fluttered closed as he said gently, "True love demands no sacrifices," and then he pressed his lips to hers. Everything that flooded between them was warm and soft, and she couldn't help letting out a little sigh as that warmth flooded through her._

Bella woke suddenly as the car hit a pothole and she groaned inwardly, wishing her dream hadn't been cut off at that exact moment. But she also felt a little guilty, dreaming of Jacob kissing her when he was about to be married and she was supposed to be with Edward. But Edward wasn't here… and her subconscious seemed determined to convince her that wanting to become a vampire was the same as planning her own suicide. But she didn't want to think about that right now.

She looked around the car- Jacob was leaning against the window, fast asleep, Veyo was still driving, and Mitsis was reading a book. Bella studied Jacob, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the soft breaths he made as he slept, the occasional twitch of a muscle here and there as he dreamed. She wondered with a small blush what he might be dreaming about, if he was imagining the two of them alone together as she had just been doing.

Bella noticed Veyo's eyes watching her in the rear-view mirror and she sat back in her seat, taking her eyes off Jacob and turning them to the road outside. The position of the sun made her think she'd been asleep for a two or three hours; it wouldn't be too long until they were at the border. She was not looking forward to Mitsis leaving them with Veyo, but she would be happy to get out of this car and stretch her legs.

She cleared her throat, and Mitsis touched a finger to her book to mark where she was on the page, glancing back in Bella's direction. "Sorry," Bella said, but the young woman just waited. "Um… I was just wondering… about your- your power, I guess. I thought only vampires had… talents."

Mitsis' face broke into a smile of obvious surprise. "Did you really?" she asked, seemingly genuinely fascinated.

Bella blushed. "Yeah, I guess," she said. "Were you always able to do that?"

"Always," Mitsis agreed. "For as long as I can remember."

"And how long is that?"

"Oh… a long time," she answered vaguely, with a wave of her hand. "My father used to take me to touch the faces of all the hunters we sent out after the buffalo, to see which would live and which would die."

"So the ones who were going to die stayed home," Bella said with a nod.

"No," Mitsis answered with a shake of her own head. "Otherwise the buffalo would not be caught and our people would not eat. But their deaths were more peaceful than they might have otherwise been, because they were prepared." At Bella's surprised look, she returned with a quizzical one of her own. "Death is not our enemy, Bella," she said gently. "It makes us appreciate life more. There is a day in each of our futures when our lives will come to an end… we cannot stop it. Why should such a natural process frighten us?"

Bella felt a little relieved to hear from someone who didn't think death was the ultimate enemy; maybe Mitsis could understand where she was coming from. "I thought it was natural to fight death," she said cautiously, testing her. "It seems like everyone thinks it's wrong."

"Is it wrong when a mountain lion kills a deer?" Mitsis asked rhetorically. "Of course not, because the mountain lion must eat, just as the deer kills the grass and leaves that it also must consume. It doesn't matter that the deer would have preferred to live, or the grass either. All are complicit; no one escapes. Death is all around us, as much as life. If it weren't, how would we know how beautiful it is to be alive?"

"Yeah, I guess," Bella answered. "But there are other ways too… I mean, you're immortal right? You don't age? And vampires… they're dead. But they're also kind of alive. So they kind of escaped death."

"That is true," Mitsis answered with a fond smile directed towards Bella. "There are many ways of living, and many ways of dying, and they all have a place in the balance of the earth."

Bella nodded. "So… you lived on the plains?" she asked, changing the subject away from death. "I remember from school it was the Plains Indians who hunted the buffalo."

Veyo stepped suddenly on the break and the car screeched to a halt; luckily they were alone on this particular stretch of highway, and he coasted the car to a halt on the shoulder. Jacob jerked awake, his arm shooting out and pinning Bella to her seat. When he realized they weren't in an accident he drew his arm back sheepishly, but he still looked concerned. His worry and care of her, even with everything that was going on, made her heart flutter.

"What's wrong?" Jacob asked, scanning the road and the tree line near the car to see what Veyo had reacted to.

"Don't you call us that," Veyo snapped, turning in his seat to be sure Bella didn't miss his angry stare. "Does this fucking look like India to you?"

"Veyo," Mitsis said gently, putting her hand lightly on his arm. "Don't chastise the child for her innocence."

"Innocence, ignorance… it's all an excuse," he muttered angrily. "One moron makes the stupidest mistake in history and we're stuck with it for the rest of our lives." He pulled the SUV back onto the road and resumed the speed limit.

Bella was speechless, but Jacob's teeth were gritted and he looked pissed.

"To answer your question," Mitsis said gently, quelling some of the anger in the car with just the calm tone of her voice, "I was born some distance east of here, in a village that no longer exists, to a mother no longer living."

"I'm sorry," Bella said quietly.

"Don't be," Mitsis answered with a warm smile. "I'm not. Many of Maha Aki's children inherited her wanderlust as well as her ability to shift into wolf form. Her descendents are spread throughout these lands, and many have since died. The world is a very different place than it once was."

"Yeah, thanks to you people," Veyo said half under his breath, but Bella heard him. She opened her mouth to respond, but Jacob reached over and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. Subtly, he shook his head. Bella took the hint and shut her mouth, inwardly fuming at Veyo but not wanting to make anything worse by getting in an argument. She'd just try to ignore him now.

Veyo coasted the car to a stop and scanned the trees along the side of the road. Abruptly he got out of the car, and Mitsis slid behind the wheel. Somehow Bella hadn't expected her to be able to drive, but she confidently put the car back into gear and started driving toward where Veyo had disappeared into the woods. A moment later a large bough that looked like it had perhaps fallen in a storm was pushed away from the perimeter of the tree line and Mitsis maneuvered the car through the gap when no other cars were on the road to see her do so. Veyo then closed the gap in the trees, and Mitsis slid back into the passenger seat, relinquishing control of the car back to him.

"Get your stuff ready," Veyo said as he drove deeper into the forest. The branches were so close to the car they swept along the windows, giving Bella a feeling between coziness and claustrophobia. She and Jacob both grabbed their bags from the back, and she didn't have to feel that way for long, because soon Veyo was stopping the car again. Mitsis stepped out, Jacob and Bella following her example, and Veyo joined them as well.

"I'm going home," Mitsis said with a smile. She reached out and clasped Bella's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Then she did the same to Jacob. "I'll see both of you soon." She turned to Veyo and put her hands over her eyes, saying something in their language as she opened her hands, making the same gesture Bella had seen her do before, with her hands held vertically, framing the space between their faces. After a long moment she dropped her hands, then undid her jacket, handing it over to Veyo.

"Well," Jacob said, tossing Bella a grin. "Illegally crossing an international border on foot without flashlights or weapons- should be fun."

"Yeah," Veyo joked, showing a playful side for the first time all day. "Just watch out for grizzly bears, black bears, mountain lions, and sasquatch."

"Sasquatch?" Bella asked, giving him a quizzical look.

"Yeah, you know." Veyo grinned maliciously. "Bigfoot."

"That's not funny," Bella said flatly. She looked at Mitsis for support, but Mitsis only smiled. Bella and Jacob both averted their eyes as she proceeded to undress fully, and then Bella heard the unmistakable sound of her transformation. Feeling safe to look, they turned back to her and Bella smiled at the beautiful, huge wolf, light gray with dustings of black here and there. It smiled that same warm, serene smile that characterized Mitsis before it bounded off into the woods.

"Alright," Veyo said, slipping her clothes into his pack and slinging it over his shoulder. "I'd like to be over the border by dawn. We'll pick up a car on the other side and make our way home."

Bella bristled at the word 'home,' not liking to think of that in terms of Jacob, but she tried to shake it off. She had promised Jacob she would keep an open mind, and she was really trying. But as soon as she got a chance, she was going to get to the bottom of this wedding thing once and for all. She also couldn't stand the idea of walking that whole way with Veyo glaring and making verbal jabs at her.

"You know, if you want to go with Mitsis, I'm sure Jacob can take care of me just fine," she spoke up, feeling brave.

Veyo let out a snort. "I'm not _your_ bodyguard," he told her. "Besides, Jacob doesn't know the way." He turned his back on them then and started walking, forcing an end to the conversation.

"He's your bodyguard?" Bella whispered to Jacob, surprised.

Jacob took her hand in the darkness and there was just enough moonlight for her to see his sheepish expression. "Yeah... I guess he doesn't know I'm a fearsome warrior," he joked as he tugged on her hand, starting them off so they wouldn't lose Veyo in the woods. "Bella," he whispered into her ear as they fell into step behind him, serious now. "I'll protect you from everything, real or imaginary. I promise."

Bella was glad the forest hid the blush that flooded her cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

The trek through the woods was hard work, as Veyo had chosen a spot that forced them to climb up and down hills and mountains, where the ground was uneven at best. Bella stumbled many times, her clumsiness definitely not her friend on this kind of adventure. She could feel Veyo's growing irritation with her, but she used Jacob kind of like a human shield, keeping him between herself and the other guy, so that she only encountered Jacob's warm smile and infinite patience when she slipped on a rock for the millionth time or caught a tree root with her foot, and not Veyo's eye-rolling and annoyance.

After two hours of walking, Veyo declared a ten-minute break, and disappeared off into the forest. Bella threw herself down on a rotting log, thankful to take a moment. Jacob sat down next to her, smiling at her sympathetically.

"I could try changing and you could ride on my back," he suggested. "But I'm not sure how comfortable that would be for either of us."

"No, it's okay," she assured him. "I'm fine."

He nodded. "Alright." He offered her a sip of the water thermos he had packed, but she shook her head, needing to address a more pressing issue.

"I have to… um… use the ladies room," she said lamely, standing up and trying to figure out where to do that. She definitely wanted to be far enough away that Jacob wouldn't hear her- bathrooms were separated by gender for a reason.

Jacob nodded. "Right… be careful… and watch out for stinging nettle."

"I will," she promised, heading off in a random direction, careful to keep a straight line away from where they'd been so she could find her way back again. She finally came to a patch of bushes that looked reasonable for what she wanted. She undid the button on her jeans, but then froze, hearing the sound of a twig snap nearby. Quickly she did the button up again and crouched, looking in the direction of the noise and trying to see what it might be.

Just a she was about to give up and assume that she'd been imagining it, she saw a definite shape moving not too far away from her. Her heart seized, remembering all the predators that Veyo had warned them about, but then she realized it wasn't a predator at all, but Veyo himself. He stepped from the shadows of the trees into sunlight and she saw his face; he seemed sad.

She heard him say something in his own language, going to a particular place, the centre of a clearing that to Bella looked like any other clearing in the woods, and tilting his head back to look at the sky. He spoke again, but the only word she could understand was 'Jacob.' She wondered what he was saying, but it seemed very private- the hand gestures that accompanied his words made her feel like he was praying, and she knew she wasn't going to understand him anyway. Quietly she retreated, finding another private place in the bushes farther away from him.

When she returned to where they'd stopped to rest, Veyo was already there, and as she approached she could hear the murmurs of voices, but they fell silent before she was near enough to overhear anything. Jacob smiled at her as she rejoined him, Veyo already turning to resume their arduous trek. Bella felt a bit less hostility towards him and a bit more curiosity now- just a bit.

Night had long since fallen when she noticed that the terrain was becoming easier, and the mountains were slowly becoming replaced by hills. They emerged, finally, in a small town, where Veyo allowed them exactly twenty minutes to purchase food.

"Where's he going?" Bella asked as the young man walked away, following Jacob to the only place that seemed open, an all-night diner attached to a gas station.

"I guess he has to go find a car," Jacob answered her. They stepped into the diner and he ordered them burgers and fries to go, surprising her by remembering that she didn't like onions on her burger and wanted her pickles on the side. She was touched.

"Wait, you don't mean he's going to steal one do you?" she whispered as the waitress moved away to refill the coffee cups of a few truckers nearby.

"No, I think this was planned and they have a car here waiting for us."

"Who's 'they'?" Bella asked, glad that they had some time alone, finally, to actually talk. "I feel like we're being escorted to CIA headquarters by some secret police or something."

"I know, they're pretty mysterious," he agreed. "They've always been like that."

"So you've known them a while?"

"Not these two individually," he answered, shaking his head. "But different members of their tribe used to visit the Quileute. I was little when I met one of them for the first time. I got the invitation to go there a couple years later."

Bella was surprised. "They wanted you to get married that young?" she asked doubtfully.

"No," he said, hesitating. "It was something my parents were approached with, when I was that young. But the plan wasn't for me to go until my fiancée's mother died."

"Why?" Bella asked, narrowing her eyes in confusion. "That's kind of… weird. Isn't it?"

He smiled at her, but he seemed uncomfortable. "It won't seem as weird once I tell you everything," he promised. "Anyway, she died early. About a year and a half ago. It was before I shifted, and I guess the plan was that I'd be much older when this happened… but they sill came. They told me it was my decision."

"And you said no."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah. I said no."

"Why?"

He hesitated, but he told her the truth. Softly he said, "Because Charlie had just told me you were coming to live in Forks. And I thought…" He trailed off and they lost eye contact as he got very fascinated with a scratch on the diner's counter. He shrugged. "Anyway," he said quietly, "I was just a dumb kid then."

Bella opened her mouth, trying to think of how to respond to that. Finally she reached over and touched his arm and he looked at her again. "You weren't a dumb kid," she said, looking into his beautiful soul-filled brown eyes. "I never thought that about you."

He smiled a little, but she could still see the sadness in his eyes. "Well, anyway," he said gently, "that was then. A lot's changed. You're getting married… and so am I."

"Jake-" Bella hesitated. What was it she wanted to say? She wasn't sure, but she felt compelled to be as honest with him as he had just been with her. "I… haven't… um… said yes to Edward. I haven't said anything either way."

Jacob looked at her as though he was seeing her as a new person. "You haven't?" he asked hopefully.

"No," she answered. "I told him… I wasn't sure."

He smiled a little. "You know, I was a little surprised when I heard your voicemail," he admitted. "I always figured you didn't believe in marriage."

She couldn't help but laugh a little. "You know me so well."

He shrugged. "I've known you since you were seven, Bella," he said gently. "That's a long time."

"Yeah," she answered. "Yeah, I guess it is." The waitress came back over with their food then, interrupting anything more either of them might have wanted to say, and as though he had some extra-sensory perception of when their food would be ready, Veyo appeared in the diner and jerked his head in the direction of the parking lot. "I guess we've been summoned," Bella said dryly, and Jacob gave her a little wink before he grabbed the bag of food and followed Veyo over to an SUV that was pretty much the same as the one they'd driven, except this one had a British Columbia license plate and was green instead of blue. They all piled in and Veyo drove them back onto the highway.

"We've got five hours left," he told them. "We'll be there just before sunrise, so get some sleep if you can. You won't be able to when we arrive."

Bella wondered what that meant, but she had sworn to cease talking to this man; she was going to ignore him just as he ignored her- pretty much everything he said was directed at Jacob, as though she wasn't even there. The one exception was if he wanted to yell at her for being a stupid white girl. She was done playing his games, and looked forward to when they arrived so she could part ways with him for good. Still, she was also terrified to arrive… and she wished very much that she and Jacob could finish their conversation. Most of all, she wanted to know why he had changed his mind, why his no had changed to a yes, and how much she had had to do with that decision. Even still, she didn't know what she would do with the answer once she got it.

* * *

Both she and Jacob managed to sleep for most of the drive, and Bella welcomed it- she was still very drained from spending almost all of last night awake, waiting for Jacob to visit her, not to mention the long hike that had used every ounce of energy she had left. Last night seemed like it happened last year, not less than twenty-four hours ago, so much had gone on since then. But she was glad for the rest, and for the fact that it made the ride seem much quicker.

In no time Jacob was shaking her gently out of sleep and she realized the car had come to a stop. Jacob smiled at her and her sleepy mind took in the strange angle of his face- that's when she noticed she had cuddled into his side in her sleep.

She pulled back quickly. "Sorry."

"We're here," Jacob answered. Veyo was already outside the car, obviously waiting for them. Bella looked around for some semblance of a town or even a road, but what they were on couldn't really be called that- it was at best a logging road, at worst a deer trail they'd just widened with their own SUV. And it just stopped, a few feet ahead of where they were now parked. She and Jacob got their things and joined Veyo.

"Let me guess," Bella ventured. "We're walking again?"

"No cars are allowed on our land," Veyo answered curtly. He started up a gentle slope in what seemed to be a random direction, but Bella knew she had to trust him to know where they were going, and she definitely trusted Jacob. She followed the two young men into the woods, and the gentle slope soon became a steep incline. Once again, Bella found herself tripping over rocks and losing her footing on loose patches of dirt or slippery bits of moss. Again and again, Jacob either caught her arm before she fell or quickly helped her to her feet when she went down too fast for him to react. Veyo mostly ignored them, which she preferred.

The climb seemed to go on forever, and it didn't help Bella's ability to stay vertical that it was nearly pitch black, the moon and stars the only source of light. She couldn't even see the normal haze of light in the sky that would mark a nearby town or city, so she assumed they had a very long way to go before they would reach wherever it was that Veyo and Mitsis were from. She had lost track of all geography, and she had no idea where they were. For the first time she wondered how she was going to get home when all this was over- a trek through the woods with just Veyo, snapping racist comments at her every few miles? She'd rather take the risk of going alone. But she had to admit that she didn't quite believe Jacob wouldn't be coming with her... she still wanted to believe this was all some crazy mistake, a mix-up or a joke.

Finally, after what seemed like years but was likely only an hour or two given the fact that it was still dark and she knew dawn was approaching, they reached what seemed to be the top of the mountain. It wasn't really, it was just a peak, but Bella almost clapped her hands in joy when Veyo started down it again. They wouldn't be going higher, which meant no more climbing, and in her book that was a good thing. Whatever they traveled toward, if it was even visible, was cloaked in mist- she could see nothing of the valley below.

Abruptly, they passed through the thickest part of the fog and it started to thin. Bella couldn't help but draw in her breath at what she saw, and she heard Jacob do the same beside her. Beautiful wasn't even enough of a word for it; awe-inspiring came close.

Spread out below them, as far as they could see, was mile upon mile of untouched nature. Bella could find no trace of a town, or a road, not even a cabin. Now that they'd emerged from the mist she could see that sunrise was fast approaching, but it was still mostly dark, aside from the moon, which was reflected in a lake below. At first she didn't realize what she was looking at, because all she saw was a perfect copy of the sky, peeking out here and there between the rolling green slopes and dense forest, evergreens that dominated the landscape, hardly ever spaced far enough apart to even see how tall they might stand or where the ground might be. The lake was so still, so clear, that it reflected the entire world below like a perfect mirror image, almost as if the lake was frozen over without snow, but she knew that couldn't be the case. The mountains must have sheltered it from the wind, because she could not find even a single ripple in the water below.

As they descended, she could make out more details, and when their angle changed and they started to go more forward rather than downward, Bella was surprised to see definite signs of human activity loom into view all of a sudden, as if appearing from a mirage. Finally their steps leveled out completely, and now she could very plainly make out several different fires of different sizes dotted over most of the land at the base of the opposite mountain.

Veyo held up a hand, stopping them when the firelight was still mere pinpoints in the distance. Jacob and Bella stopped behind him, and he took a few more steps forward through the foliage alone. Then he gave a sound like a little whoop- it reminded Bella of the noises she'd heard Sam and the others make to call Jacob when they wanted him to join them in the forest.

The three of them waited in silence for a few moments; then, Bella started as a huge black wolf stepped silently from the underbrush. A moment later it changed to human form, revealing a boy at most a year or two older than Jacob himself, about Bella's own age. He grinned and embraced Veyo, which caused Bella to raise her eyebrows a little because the boy was very much nude. She averted her eyes slightly as he went and looked like he was about to hug Jacob as well, but thought better of it at the last minute and shook his hand vigorously instead.

Veyo saw Bella's discomfort and smirked at her. "You'd better get used to it," he told her. "Most people in this village can shift, so we're not shy about the logistics of it."

"Right," Bella mumbled, fixing her eyes firmly on the naked boy's face. "Of course. No, I'm fine. Hi," she added to newcomer, holding her hand out, not taking her eyes off his. He had a broad, open face with a large, inviting smile, and his skin was a bit lighter than either of her companions. She was relieved that her presence didn't seem to make him angry.

"My lady," he said, taking her hand and kissing the back of it, looking up at her and wiggling his eyebrows at her playfully.

"Knock it off, Nako," Veyo said with a roll of his eyes. Bella saw out of the corner of her eye as two more wolves materialized from the woods, one almost as dark like Nako had been, one a much lighter gray. They too changed to reveal naked young men, and they greeted Veyo and Jacob together with quick nods of their heads and a few words before moving back into the brush, changing at the last moment before each disappeared.

Veyo turned to Jacob. "I got you here safe," he said. "I'm going to run with my brothers now." Jacob nodded and Veyo took off, trotting into the woods, Bella catching just a glimpse of his tail as he shifted into wolf form.

Nako remained, and beckoned them with his hand to follow, hurrying off into the woods in front of them. He led them some distance into the forest before stopping at a small hut, built low to the ground and blending so well with the forest that at first Bella didn't notice it at all. He disappeared inside for a moment, having to bend to enter the tiny structure, which would have difficulty holding more than one man at a time, and when he emerged he was dressed, much to her own- and it looked like Jacob's- relief. Though he wore no shirt, he had pulled on a pair of dark-coloured pants, somewhat form-fitting and not leaving much to the imagination, but much better than the alternative. Bella realized as she watched him walk that the pants must have been made from animal skins, with how easily they conformed to his movements. She had a crazy thought that Veyo had somehow led them back in time.

When they finally got to the village, her crazy idea didn't seem quite so crazy. What she saw was a series of structures, buildings that seemed carved out of the woods themselves, they blended so well. Some were smaller huts like the one that had hidden Nako's clothes, and some were almost as large as Bella's own house, though each appeared to be only one storey. They were arranged roughly in a circle framing a large open area where a huge bonfire was blazing, and Bella could see the shapes of people- men, women, and children, milling around that area. There were other structures behind the central ones that she could see, scattered here and there, but most of the activity seemed to be concentrated in the centre of the village. As they drew nearer she heard music, the sounds of drums and singing.

"It's feast time!" Nako tossed over his shoulder excitedly. "I'm starving, how about you guys?"

Jacob nodded with a grin, and almost at that moment Bella smelled the food for the first time- the scent was amazing. But she hung back a little. Jacob noticed and slowed his step, looking at her curiously. "What's wrong?"

"What if they all hate me?" she asked. "What if they're all like Veyo?"

"Nako isn't," he pointed out. "I'm sure they won't hate you. I won't let them." He gave her a gentle smile. "Just stick with me."

"Oh, you won't be able to get rid of me," she said nervously. He took her hand and squeezed, but after a moment he released it again, and her heart sank a little. He didn't want his fiancée to see, she guessed, and that hurt. "Jake… what's her name?"

"Who?" he asked, though she was sure he knew. She tossed him a 'come on' look, and he sighed. "Abi," he answered after a long moment.

"Have you ever met her?"

"Once," he said, nodding. "Before I met you… she visited once." She felt unreasonably threatened by that- he'd known this girl longer than her, technically. She knew that was stupid, but she couldn't shake the thought.

"And?" she asked tentatively.

Jacob shrugged a little. "She was nice. She played with me. That's about it."

"Is she your age?" Bella asked.

"No," he said with a smile. "She was about sixteen or seventeen when I met her."

Bella stared at him. "So you're marrying, like… a twenty-six-year-old or something?"

He smiled at her. "No," he said with a bit of humour in his voice. "I think she's much, much older than that. But she still looks sixteen or seventeen."

"Oh… isn't that weird that you're supposed to marry some girl that's way older than you?" she asked, making a face.

"I think it's funny that offends you," he said, though he sounded less amused than he had a moment ago. "Considering the age difference between you and that bloodsucker."

She closed her eyes for a moment; he had a point, of course. "Jake… you're right," she admitted. "I'm sorry."

He sighed and stopped, turning to put his hands on her shoulders. "No, I'm sorry. I know this is weird for you. It's weird for me too. I don't want to be mean. I want to enjoy these last few days together."

Her heart sank, but she forced a smile and nodded at him. "Yeah, absolutely. Me too."

"Good," he said. "So let's start by enjoying this feast." Nako was long gone, but they could find their way easily- all they had to do was follow the music, which was now quite loud, joyful and boisterous. These people were obviously celebrating Jacob's arrival, and were thrilled to have him here. But there was just no way she could bring herself to feel that way too.


	6. Chapter 6

As Bella and Jacob stepped from the forest and entered the outskirts of the small village, they saw Nako there waiting for them.

"There you are!" he said excitedly. "Thought I lost you. Come on, Jake, this is all for you."

"Wow… you really shouldn't have," Jacob said, but he had a bit of a goofy smile on his face. Bella understood; it was fun to be the centre of attention.

"Are you kidding me?" Nako asked. "You're marrying Abi and joining the community! That's big, man."

Bella shook her head, unable to comprehend that this was actually happening. She stuck close to Jacob's side, and as they got closer she could see the turnout for this feast of celebration. There were men and women chasing after little kids or sitting around talking, babies in arms, some women pregnant, and there were older kids hanging off to the side trying to pretend they had more important things to do than be here. It gave the impression of a boisterous place where most people knew each other well, which made sense if this group represented the entire population.

When they came into view of the assembled people, Nako shouted something in their language and everyone stopped talking, their heads turning. Nako grabbed Jacob's hand and raised it above his head as though he'd just made a game-winning touchdown, and everyone cheered. That's when Bella noticed Mitsis emerge from the crowd, and come to stand in front of Jacob.

"Welcome to our lands," she said warmly, before turning to Bella. "And to you as well. Welcome."

Bella felt relieved that she wasn't going to be invisible during this whole party, but she saw a few children whispering to each other and pointing at her. She looked down, her face flushing red.

"Don't let them intimidate you," Mitsis said gently. "Some of the young ones haven't met a white person before."

"You're so isolated here," Bella answered in amazement. "I had no idea places like this still existed."

"They don't," Mitsis answered sadly. "But Bella, you are not the first white person to come here and learn of our ways. Don't let Veyo and others like him make you feel that you are."

She felt a bit better, hearing that. "Jacob is like a star," she said.

"Yes," Mitsis answered with a small smile. "His arrival has been much anticipated. Abi has been a year and a half without a partner."

"Right," Bella said, confused. "You guys are all pretty close here, huh?"

"It is impossible not to be," Mitsis answered with one of those knowing smiles as though Bella didn't understand something and it amused her. "We share so much." She swept her hand back, indicating the crowd and the food to both Bella and Jacob. "Come and share with us now."

Jacob looked at Bella and grinned, and she took a deep breath, trying to quiet the racing of her heart. She stuck close to Jacob's side as they walked toward where the food was, the smell coming off the various dishes just amazing.

Bella heard her stomach growl and from the other side of Jacob Nako leaned over and grinned at her. "I knew someone had to be as hungry as me," he said cheerfully. "You guys practically walked from the border, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm pretty hungry." She leaned over a bit toward Jacob and whispered, "Can you understand that language they speak here?"

He shook his head. "No. It's related to Quileute, given the common ancestry I guess, but I can only understand a few words here and there. I'm not even fluent in Quileute," he added with a shrug.

Bella nodded, relieved; hopefully that meant that most people would address them in English, so she wouldn't be totally out of the loop here.

"I guess I'll have to learn," Jacob mused, "if I'm staying here."

Bella looked up sharply at his use of the word 'if,' but he didn't seem to have noticed the significance. She felt a surge of hope; maybe, seeing the village and the people, he was having second thoughts? Maybe he was going to change his mind and go home with her after all?

They were almost to the food when Bella saw Mitsis raising both her hands into the air near the edge of the group. Everyone fell silent and Bella and Jacob both turned to listen. Mitsis made her voice loud enough for everyone to hear as she spoke, "This morning we honour a guest in our lands. Jacob is of the Quileute people, whose sisters have called this land home, and who gave a home to our brothers when they traveled forth from these lands. We welcome him now to the land of our mothers, to join with us and make our people stronger."

Cheers went up around the assembly, and Bella could see Jacob was blushing, but he also had a big smile on his face. He waved his thanks to everyone, and then quickly asked Nako, a little nervously, "Do I have to make a speech or anything?"

"Nah," Nako answered with a laugh. "Just dig in already. You're the guest of honour- no one will eat until you do!"

"Well, in that case, let's not make anyone go hungry," Jacob said, and turned to the long table that practically groaned with the feast laid out on it. He and Bella both picked up wooden plates and started filling them with all the delicious things laid out on the table- it seemed like every type of food you could possibly imagine was present. There was smoked salmon as well as other fish, oysters and mussels, fruit and vegetables prepared in various ways, the meat of deer and rabbit, as well as many other dishes that Bella couldn't identify. She grabbed the things that looked and smelled the best, realizing that she'd have to come back for seconds if she wanted to have even one of every option, there was so much variety. Other people were now converging on the table, filling their own plates, so she and Jacob each grabbed a wooden cup full of what looked like tea and moved off, finding a spot on a bearskin to settle down and eat. The food tasted as delicious as it smelled, and the drink was cool and refreshing.

"So," Bella said, trying to lighten her own mood. "You're the star today."

"Yeah, I guess," he answered with a little smile. "Next time I change into wolf form the guys are going to get a kick out of this."

"So that'll still work?" Bella asked curiously. "Even though you're so far away?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "I don't think it's a proximity thing. But I guess there's a chance it might fade, the longer I'm away or if I join the pack here…" He seemed sad. "I don't know. I guess I'll find out."

Bella nodded. "I guess," she said softly. She turned her attention to the crowd, most of who were talking amongst one another in small groups, enjoying the food. A few approached Jacob now and then, saying hello and asking him how his journey was- in English, Bella noticed with relief. He was polite to all of them, but Bella could tell the attention was making him a bit uncomfortable. Every person who approached him ended whatever short conversation they had with the word "Iniabi" and a clap on the shoulder. Bella wondered whether they were saying 'good luck,' but she decided it was probably a kind of all-purpose word like 'cheers,' because she noticed that other people here and there said it to each other before they started to eat.

She watched the people with fascination. They all wore clothes similar to what she'd seen in old photos of Native Americans or movie remakes of historical events, aside from the odd person who was dressed quite differently from everyone else. Those people _looked_ different too, like one girl she noticed in particular, whose skin was quite a different colour from most of the others, a much darker brown with a deep red undertone, and the features of her face were different too, more broad, her nose a bit wider, her lips fuller, and she was quite petite. She dressed differently as well, still in animal skins but her accessories were different, more beads and less feathers, more jewelry and less paint. She looked as foreign as Bella did, but in a totally different way, yet she seemed completely at ease. If she was an outsider, she hadn't been one for some time.

"That is Naiya," Mitsis said suddenly from next to Bella, startling her. "She's from far south of here."

"Where?" Bella asked curiously.

"If you asked her of her homeland," Mitsis sighed, "the name would mean nothing to you. It is buried in jungle now, ruins in Mexico somewhere."

"What is she doing here?"

"She is a daughter of the land," Mitsis answered. "We cannot turn anyone away who is a child of this place." Bella got the impression that she wasn't talking about someone simply born here, but someone who could trace their lineage back before the arrival of white people. "She is married to Nako, who you met earlier," Mitsis added.

"Really?" Bella asked, laughing a little. "But he's so young."

"Young at heart, this is true," Mitsis answered with a smile. "But Nako is nearly two hundred years old."

"Wow… that's so weird. I mean, that people are so old here. It's crazy."

"Sometimes we choose to age, and so we die, but many of us prefer to go on living," Mitsis explained. "There are many here whose ages would surprise you. Now, please excuse me." She stood. "Iniabi," she said, raising her wooden cup to them.

Bella raised her cup as well. "What does that mean, anyway?" she asked.

"It is the name of our leader. Our queen, I suppose… that word isn't completely accurate to her role, but it's probably the best word you have for her position," Mitsis explained before leaving them.

"Huh," Bella said. "So they have a queen. That's cool." She noticed Jacob seemed deep in thought, distracted. "Hey… still with me?" she asked gently.

Jacob glanced at her. "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking."

"About?"

"It's just… strange," Jacob said thoughtfully. "I know that as long as I keep changing to wolf form, I won't age. But it's not like I grew up in a place where I knew people who were hundreds of years old, so it seems kind of unreal. Now it feels like it's really true, like I could really live forever if I wanted."

"Do you want that?" Bella asked curiously.

Jacob didn't answer for a long moment. "I don't know," he said finally. "I can see the perks. But I can also see how hard that would be, if you cared about people who didn't live forever." His eyes locked with Bella's, and she felt that familiar flutter in her heart as he gazed at her.

Finally she forced herself to look away. "Yeah," she answered, studying her hands. "Yeah, that would be hard."

Her eyes drifted to the crowd again as she took another bite of the delicious food. Everyone seemed to be so comfortable with everyone else that she tried to make a game of figuring out who might be married or related. Children moved from lap to lap like cheerful bumblebees, swarming over each new person and stealing bites of food from their plates. She tried to decide which child or baby belonged to whom, but it was hard. Everyone seemed to take equal joy in them, and they didn't seem to gravitate or continuously return to any one lap. Finally she thought she'd pinpointed the mother of at least one little girl, perhaps three or four years old, who stopped at a particular woman and tugged at her shirt, prompting her to open the folds of cloth. The little girl latched on to the woman's breast and drank for a few moments before moving off again. But when this same child did the same thing with two other women, Bella averted her eyes in embarrassment and gave up trying to identify the mothers in this group.

"We're really not in Kansas anymore, are we Jake?" she joked.

He grinned at her. "Definitely not."

She caught sight of Veyo amid the crowd and was surprised to see him playing with a toddler, holding the baby on his knee and bouncing him a little, then raising him high above his head, tossing him up in the air and catching him over and over, making the little boy dissolve into giggles. She tapped Jacob's knee and pointed, and he followed her gaze.

"I never guessed he'd be so good with kids," Bella said dryly. "Being that he has such a lovely personality."

"Maybe it's his son?" Jacob guessed.

"No," a voice came from behind them, making them both jump. They turned and Bella saw that a girl about her age had settled into the bearskin just behind her and Jacob, her plate loaded with food. "Istas is Maka's child," she said. The girl was extremely pretty, all her features shaped perfectly for her face, her eyes a warm dark brown, and very wise. Her skin was a bit lighter than Jacob's, but had the same colour and tone. She was small but muscular, and her dark hair, nearly black, hung to her shoulders, a few small braids capped with beads and feathers peeking out here and there.

"Oh," Bella answered, a bit uncomfortable with the sudden intrusion. "Well I was just noticing he's good with kids… does he have any?"

The girl looked at her but didn't smile. "Veyo's wife and children were all murdered," she said softly.

"Oh my God," Bella gasped. "I'm… I'm so sorry." She looked back at Veyo, still laughing and playing with the toddler in his lap, and tried to imagine what that would be like. She started to understand why he was always so angry. "What happened?" she asked tentatively, not sure she wanted to know.

"Invaders came," the girl answered. "They wanted his land… they thought there was gold buried in their sacred hills. There wasn't, but they wanted them to move anyway, far from the bones of their ancestors and the lands of their people. They refused to go." Her eyes filled with tears. "So the invaders came in the night to force them out. They raped the women and murdered any men who tried to stop them. The babies they didn't kill outright were left screaming for mothers that would never come. Some of those babies live here among us now, long grown. But most of Veyo's people are dead, and the hills they called sacred were mined to dust."

"That's… horrible," Bella whispered, staring at Veyo in a new light, knowing that the 'invaders' the girl described had to be Europeans. She felt ashamed; her face burned with it, even though she knew she'd done nothing wrong. This was why Veyo hated white people… could she really blame him?

"The things you read about in your history school books," the girl said softly. "Things like blankets infected with smallpox and the Trail of Tears… you learn of these things as separate from you- the distant, appalling past of another world. But many of the people here lived those days, and saw the horrors you can now barely imagine. Long life is not always such a blessing, and for us it seems like yesterday that this land was free."

Bella frowned. "But… this land is free," she protested.

The girl laughed, but there was no humour in it. "It's good you've come here, Bella," she said. "Perhaps we can teach you some things about this world."

"Hey," Jacob spoke up quietly. "Come on. Don't be like that, Abi."

Bella's face snapped up and she stared at this beautiful young woman. "Abi?" she whispered. "You're…"

"Jacob's fiancée," Abi answered with a nod. He held out her hand for Bella to shake. "Iniabi," she said, and Bella slowly took her hand.

"Iniabi," Bella answered, as she had heard everyone else do, but the girl just giggled.

"No, I'm introducing myself," she said. "I'm Iniabi. But feel free to call me Abi- everyone does."

Bella stared at her. "Wait… wait. _You're_ Iniabi?" She looked at Jacob, who was pretending to be extremely fascinated with his plate of food. "Jake… you're marrying the _queen?"_


	7. Chapter 7

_She heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway downstairs, but she didn't care. She was playing dolls, so she was having too much fun to even look outside and see who it might be._

_ "Bells!" her dad's voice broke through the important conversation going on between her Raggedy Anne and her teddy bear. She put them down and hurried to the top of the stairs, looking down. Charlie stood there, smiling up at her. "Come here for a second," he coaxed._

_ Bella let out a breath of air of frustration in delaying her playtime any further, but she headed down the stairs to him obediently, stopping at the bottom. A man stood in the front room, with long hair and dark brown eyes. Bella stood next to her father, whose hand dropped onto her shoulder, and peered out at the man with restrained curiosity._

_ "Hello," she said shyly._

_ "Hello there," he answered. "I'm Billy. Me and your dad are buddies." He smiled at her and she blushed a little, burying her face in her father's side._

_ "Billy and I are going to watch the game," Charlie said, giving her a pat on the head. "Billy's son Jacob is here- he's playing outside by the tree. Why don't you go say hi?"_

_ She thought about refusing but then shrugged; her dolls were getting boring anyway. "Okay." Charlie smiled at her and then she went out the front door, circling around to the side of the house, where a little boy was digging earnestly in the mud, his long brown hair draped over his back, which was to her._

_ "Hey," she said, dropping to her knees next to him. "What are you doing?"_

_ "Making mud pies," he answered, holding out a handful of wet, dark mud._

_ "Ew!" she squealed, backing away a little. He was obviously younger than her and she was a little perturbed at being tricked into playing with a little kid, but she chose an air of haughty superiority instead of retreating back to the house. "Don't eat that, Jacob."_

_ "I won't," he said, making a face and going back to his work. "How come you know my name?"_

_ "Your dad told me," she answered. "I'm Bella."_

_ He grinned at her. "Hi Bella. You want to help?"_

_ She eyed the mud suspiciously, but she had to admit it looked pretty fun. "Well… okay."_

_ "Did you just move here?"_

_ "No, I live in Florida. I'm visiting."_

_ "I live on the reservation," he answered importantly._

_ "What's a reservation?" she asked blankly._

_ Jacob shrugged, digging in the mud with a stick. "I don't know. It's called La Push. We have to live there 'cause we're Indians."_

_ "Oh," she answered, not really understanding. She picked up a stick and started helping him, tearing it through the mud to form loose handfuls they could grab at and mush together._

_ Jacob watched her handiwork and smiled. "You're pretty good at this, Bella."_

_ She grinned back. "Thanks. You are too, Jacob."  
_

"Bella?" Jacob called hesitantly, pulling her from her memories. He was standing in the doorway of the small hut she'd been told she could stay in. It was more of a cabin than a hut, really, its walls constructed with cedar logs sealed by mud, the roof made of alder planks covered in more mud and palm fronds. The inside smelled amazing. The feast was over, and Bella had escaped the awkwardness that was sharing space with Jacob and his gorgeous fiancée. She looked at Jacob, for a moment seeing that chubby little boy who'd helped her construct a pile of mud in the shape of a pie. Then she blinked and he was this Jacob again, a young man, muscular and tall, his hair cropped short, his face full of apology and discomfort. "Can I come in?" he asked.

She was lying on a bed that was basically an elevated wooden platform piled with the soft pelts of deer and bear, but she quickly sat up and scooted over so he could sit. "Yeah, of course," she said. "Absolutely." She tried to pretend nothing needed to be odd or uncomfortable, but she couldn't meet his eyes as he took the seat next to her.

"Bella," he said hesitantly, after a long, drawn-out moment of silence. "I'm sorry about what happened."

"What?" she asked, being purposefully dense.

"That wasn't exactly how I wanted to introduce you to Abi," he answered. "I didn't want you two to meet that way."

"Jake," she sighed. "Don't worry about it. It was a big party… I didn't even notice her sit down until she was already talking."

"Me neither," he said with a shake of his head. "I didn't think she'd just… I mean, I haven't seen her since…" He sighed. "Look. I know this is really weird for you. I guess I just wanted you to know… it's weird for me too."

"But Jake, you're marrying this girl," she said quietly. "Right? So it doesn't really matter how I feel."

"It matters to me," he said softly. "You will always be my best friend, Bella. I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not," she answered quickly. "Hurting me, I mean." She tried her hardest to seem completely nonchalant. "You're my best friend too. And I want you to be happy. So if this… if this arranged marriage, or whatever it is… if that's what you want, then great. It's great." She wondered if she sounded as unconvincing to him as she did to herself right now.

Jacob stood and walked to the door and she thought he was going to leave, but he turned and walked right back, sitting again. He put his hands on her shoulders, staring into her eyes as though he was trying to figure her out. Would she really never look into those eyes again? "I don't get you," he said finally, releasing her and dropping his hands into his lap.

"What's not to get?" she whispered, almost having to force herself to say the words.

He turned his head to look at her, and the sadness in his eyes was almost unbearable. "When you came back to Forks, I thought things would be different than they turned out to be," he said. "Remember when you first arrived, and I came over with my dad to give you the truck?"

"Yeah," she said. "Of course."

"You met Edward that day," he said. "And he started casting that spell he has over you."

"Jake-"

"No," he said, sounding a little desperate. "If I don't say this, I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life." That shut her up, so he went on, "I don't think he's good for you. I never did. I don't like him being around you, and I hate that he makes you feel guilty for living. I don't think that's fair to you, and I don't think he can give you the life you deserve... or any life."

Bella stood, walking to the other side of the hut. "Jake, seriously… please don't tell me again how stupid I am."

Jacob stood as well, and she felt him come up behind her. He turned her body so they were standing inches apart, and in his eyes she saw nothing but sorrow and love. "I don't think you're stupid," he whispered. "I just wish I'd gotten the chance to show you that there's more to life than death."

"But you didn't," she answered, dodging around him and sitting back down on the bed again. She hugged her arms around herself. "And now you're getting married, so you really shouldn't be talking to me like this."

He let out a heavy sigh. "I know," he said quietly. He returned to her side, sinking slowly onto the bed next to her once more. Bella couldn't believe how easy it was to want two things at the same time that couldn't possibly go together- she wanted him never to leave her side, yet she wanted him to accept her with Edward and understand. Had she driven him to this? Is this what kind of person she was? Jacob looked at her again, and she found she couldn't look away. "Bella," he said softly. "Can I ask you something?"

She opened her mouth, her lips already forming the words 'of course,' but he held up a hand, silencing her.

"No, I only want you to agree if you're willing to be completely honest with me," he said. Almost inaudibly he added, "I think you owe me that much."

She glanced away, stung, but nodded. "Yeah," she said. "Of course."

He took a deep breath, his jaw tightening almost imperceptibly as he organized his thoughts. "The night you went to Italy, when we were in the kitchen…"

"Jake-"

"No wait, let me finish," he said urgently, cutting her off. "When we were in the kitchen, and I was about to kiss you, you didn't pull away from me or try to stop me. Why not?"

"I-" she started, but then broke off, remembering her promise and realizing she owed him more than an off-the-cuff response. She thought about it- the kitchen, her heart thumping, the sound of his mother tongue, their faces mere millimeters apart. She'd been feeling confused, afraid, but he was so warm, his presence filling the room almost like a buffer between her and everything that could possibly hurt. Yes, even then she had been thinking of Edward, somewhere in the back of her mind, but not when she'd seen Jake's face moving toward her. Why hadn't she pulled away? Did she even _know_ why?

His dark eyes were scanning her face, his desire to know the truth overriding any impatience for her answer. She looked into those eyes, darker even than her own, and then glanced away, blushing. It was like she could see his soul in there. She didn't understand him, how he could be so honest with her, so true to his feelings for her, and yet be hurt again and again. And she knew she hurt him, so much. She couldn't pretend that she didn't.

"Why didn't you pull away?" he asked again, softly.

"I don't… I'm not sure." She buried her palms in the short fur of the deerskin, her fingers playing with the soft bristles to give her something to do. "I guess I… um…" She swallowed nervously, but forced the truth from her lips; he put himself out there practically every time they talked, she owed him the courtesy of returning the favour once. "I guess I wanted you to," she whispered quickly, letting it all out in one breath before looking up at him again cautiously.

The truth hung in the silence between them.

She didn't know whether to expect a smug smile or to find him to leaning in and trying to finish what he'd started in her kitchen. But neither happened; he was just sitting there looking at her, and he seemed to be gazing into her soul itself. She held her breath.

"I believe you, Bella," he said quietly, before leaning back against the wall of the hut, letting out his own breath in a soft sigh.

She waited for several moments before speaking. "Wait, so that's… it? You're not going to… um… I don't know…"

"Try to kiss you again?" he asked with a small smile, the familiar mischievous one he got when he thought she was being cutely awkward. One of the few things about him that hadn't grown up and become driven by testosterone was that smile- it was almost a carbon-copy of the one worn by that little boy making mud pies in her yard, and she couldn't help but smile back.

Her cheeks flushed. "No, I- I just… nevermind."

He smiled again, but it held more sadness than humour. "I guess this is what they mean by cold feet," he said softly, lifting her hopes. "I can't believe I'm getting married on Thursday."

Bella's eyes flew to his. "Jake," she sputtered. "Today's _Tuesday._ Don't you need time to, like, get to know each other or something?"

"It doesn't work like that here," he answered with a shake of his head. "It happens Wednesday night, when the moon is fullest and highest."

"This place is so strange," she said with a shake of her head. "All these weird rituals and speeches… and they're so closed off from the real world."

Jacob seemed to bristle a little beside her. "They're trying to preserve their cultures," he protested.

"Yeah, but… I mean… they don't even have electricity." She shrugged. "They're like the Amish I guess."

"No," he answered, sounding a bit irritated. "They're not like the Amish. They're Native Americans, Bella. This is how my ancestors lived, too."

"I know," she answered. "I didn't mean…" She broke off and sighed. "I just feel like they're living in the past. America has been America for a long time."

"Not that long," he pointed out. "And it feels shorter when you live forever."

"So… you agree with them?"

"Agree with what exactly?" Jacob asked impatiently.

She blinked. "Well… that things were better before. That modern society is evil and white people are invaders."

He didn't answer her for a long time. Finally he said, "No, I don't believe that." She smiled in relief, but he went on, "But I do understand where they're coming from, and what they're trying to do." He looked at her with hesitation in his eyes. "Bella… do you think I like living on the Rez?"

_ "What's a reservation?" Bella's young voice came back to her._

_ "I don't know," Jacob had answered, his own voice high with youth. "It's called La Push. We have to live there 'cause we're Indians."_

"No," she said softly. "I guess not."

"I'm not saying that all white people should be driven into the sea or something," he said quietly. "But it's not hard for me to understand the anger some of these people feel. Did you know the government tried to force my people to move off the lands where they'd lived for thousands of years? White settlers wanted it, so their history didn't matter."

Bella shook her head. "No, I didn't know that."

"Lucky for us, my ancestors refused to go," he said with some pride in his voice, but it turned to bitterness in a moment. "So all our longhouses were burned, and everything of value in them. Finally, we were given some of our own lands back, but nothing compared to what we had before."

"I'm… sorry," she said with discomfort, not really knowing what to say.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad," he said, reaching over and gently touching the back of her hand. She smiled a little and he added, "I just don't think people think about it much- what the founding of this country did to people like us. Hardly anyone speaks my language fluently now… the government forbid it." He sighed. "I can just see where people like Veyo are coming from- even before I heard about his wife and children."

She shuddered, again imagining the horror Veyo must have suffered.

Jacob raised his hand and touched her cheek with his fingertips. "You didn't do these things, Bella," he said gently. "I know that, and so do they."

"Abi seemed to think I was nothing but a stupid child," Bella mumbled, finally pulling out the thorn that had been irritating her since she'd been lectured by his fiancée.

He sighed. "She's very passionate about these issues. She has to be, considering her job I guess."

"So she's actually like a queen?" Bella asked doubtfully.

"She rules, in a way, yeah. She gives orders, makes decisions. But she has a council of advisors, so she's not quite like a queen that way." He shrugged. "I don't know tons about it… it's a complicated system I think."

"So you're going to be king, then?" she asked, hardly believing she was saying the words. "You're going to start giving the orders?"

Jacob let out a little laugh. "No, thank God," he said. "This society is matriarchal. My only real power is in giving her a daughter. An heir."

Bella squirmed with discomfort. "Right," she said. "Is that… going to happen? Like, soon?"

"I hope not," he said seriously. "There's no rush."

"Right," she said with a little smile. "Immortality."

He gazed at her sadly. "I wish you could stay longer."

She met his gaze. "I wish you could come home."

Jacob let out a long breath, closing his eyes for a moment. "And I wish you meant that," he whispered.

"I do," she insisted.

"Bella. No you don't… not in the way I want you to."

She opened her mouth to respond but then closed it, glancing away. "Are you doing this because of me, Jake?" she asked softly.

He took so long to answer that she started to think maybe he hadn't heard her, but he finally said, "No." He looked at her. "Bella," he said softly. "Promise me you'll leave Forks, if you… go through with it. If you decide to let Edward-" His jaw clenched but he forced himself to go on. "If you let him kill you. Promise me you'll go away and do it somewhere else."

"Jake-"

"Promise me," he insisted. "If I'm going to stay connected to Sam and the others, the last thing I want is to get sent images of them ripping you apart." He swallowed hard past a lump in his throat. "It's against the Treaty to tell you to do this, but Bella, I couldn't survive that. I can't survive the death of you." Her eyes filled with tears and she tried desperately to blink them back; he looked so tortured, so horrified. "Please, Bella," he said again. "Promise me."

"Okay," she whispered, finally, a couple of tears escaping down her cheeks. She nodded. "I promise, Jake."

He put his arms around her abruptly and pulled her close to his chest, holding her tightly as though this was the last time he would ever get to do this. She clung to him, gasping a little as she tried to get hold of her tears. After a long moment, he pulled back, gazing at her, brushing the hair back over her ears, first one side and then the other.

"Thanks, Bella," he said softly. He stood up, but she found she didn't want him to, so she stood as well to prolong his proximity to her. She followed him to the door but stopped as he hesitated. He turned back to her. "Are you going to say yes?" he asked suddenly.

"What? Oh… to Edward? Um… I don't know," she answered honestly. It seemed like another world when he'd proposed to her, she could barely even think about that right now. And she still didn't believe in marriage. But all she could think about was Jacob; Edward had barely entered her thoughts all day.

Jacob raised his hand and touched her face again, then smiled a little before leaving her hut. She watched his strong shoulders and back as he walked away from her, feeling mixed up and confused. She went back to the bed, laying down on the soft pile of animal hides, pulling one over her for warmth.

She listened to the sounds around her: children playing, people singing, the distant lapping of water against the shores of the lake nearby, the crackle of a fire … the sounds of life. She put her hand under her shirt and laid it on the left side of her chest. She felt her heartbeat, the steady _thump… thump… thump._

"I'm alive," she said into the quiet of the hut. Outside, a child's voice laughed in delight. The sunlight filtered through tiny gaps in the roof to fall against the soft skin of her arm, not cold and stony, but rushing with blood and the busy workings of millions upon millions of cells.

Bella closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like for all of that to just stop, for every system in her body to grind to a halt, but for her to go on living. She balked at that last word as it passed through her thoughts. "But I wouldn't go on living," she said out loud. "I'd be something else."

Her mind echoed one word back at her: _What?_


	8. Chapter 8

_Bella moved through the undergrowth, ducking under a giant tree branch at least as ancient as the person she followed. She could just make out Edward's shape in front of her as he darted in and out of view, not trying to lose her but not wanting her to catch up either. As he walked he threw words over his shoulder, and she struggled to keep pace with him._

"_I'm a killer," he said. She remembered this conversation now, the first one, the one where he'd revealed his true self to her, and the moment when she'd started to fall in love with him._

"_I don't believe that," she'd insisted, as finally she came close enough to him to hear his sharp intake of frustrated breath._

"_That's because you believe the lie," he insisted. "The camouflage." He whirled on her, and she noticed subtle differences between this conversation and its real version. His golden eyes were more sinister, his face locked in a sneer that frightened her, his hands clenched as he explained his nature to her. "Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell." He looked disgusted, and she felt a stab of fear, somewhere near her heart, an instinct locked away in some primal part of her, urging her to run._

_But she hadn't run. Why? Because she'd been fascinated by him, touched that he would open himself to her? She had wanted to save him. But here, in this moment, so like that first one yet off in so many small ways, she felt truly afraid. Uncertain._

"_As if I would need any of that," Edward continued before running to the left so fast his body blurred. Bella followed him with her eyes, trying to shrug off the terror that was slowly icing over her chest, trying to convince herself it was just the chill in the woods that made her shiver._

_He appeared, suddenly, on a tree limb behind her and she whirled to face him, her skin crawling. He yelled, "As if you could outrun me!" He jumped around the clearing as fast as he had run before, and then stopped just behind her. "As if you could fight me off," he growled, ripping at the roots of a tree and pulling off a large branch, hurling it across the clearing. Then he was in front of her again, and there was a wildness in his eyes that frightened her, something that hadn't been there the first time… or was it something she hadn't noticed? "I'm designed to kill," he told her._

_She opened her mouth to respond as she had then, to tell him she didn't care, that it didn't matter to her what he was or what he'd become at death, but that she believed he wouldn't hurt her, and that she trusted him. But the words froze in her throat, and she couldn't speak._

"_I've killed people before," he added, his eyes darkening impossibly, the gold fading out of them until they became blacker than her own._

"_Are you listening, Bella?" another voice came from behind her, and she whirled. Jacob stood in the clearing; she could see the other members of his pack standing behind him, half-hidden in the shadows._

"_What?" she asked, glancing back at Edward. Clouds were moving in and the sky was darkening; she felt a few raindrops, and then heard the crash of thunder. The sky lit up momentarily in a flash of lighting and she saw blood all over Edward's hands, and leaking out the sides of his mouth. She screamed, stepping backward and tumbling over a rock, pitching onto her back. Edward appeared at her side instantly, taking her arm to help her up, and she saw that the blood was gone. She let him raise her to her feet, her brow wrinkling in confusion._

"_He's a killer, Bella," Jacob's voice said from the trees; he sounded sad. "He's killed people- do you even care who? Men, women, children… it didn't matter to him when he was a newborn."_

"_It wasn't his fault, he couldn't control it," she protested, but the words sounded hollow even to her. She looked at Edward just as another flash of lightning hit, and again the blood covered him, not just his hands and face, but now it was soaked into his clothes and pooling at his feet._

_She backed away and hit something solid; whirling, she found herself standing in front of Jacob, who quickly pulled her into his embrace. She clung to him, her body shaking a little. Jacob was warm, and it soothed her. She looked back at Edward, who was standing in the clearing, his expression unreadable._

_Another figure emerged from the woods, walking forward from the tree line. Bella was surprised to see Rosalie here, and watched her come to stand beside Edward. "This isn't a life I would have chosen for myself," Rosalie said, echoing her words from their last meeting. "And I wish that there'd been someone to vote no for me."_

"_But this is _my_ life," Bella said to her, as another flash of lightning revealed the blood on both Edward and Rosalie's hands that was otherwise invisible._

_ Tears slid down Rosalie's cheeks as she held out her hands to Bella, another flash illuminating the red stains that encrusted her fingernails, caused the lines on her palms to stand out, and seemed to be caked into her very pores. "Is this what you want?" she screamed, dropping to her knees. "Is this who you want to be?"_

_ "But I could be different…" Bella whispered, her words sounding doubtful even to her own ears. She turned away from the horrified girl, burying her head in Jacob's chest. A moment later there was silence, and Rosalie and Edward had disappeared. She looked back to Jacob, who smiled down at her, holding her face in his hands as he closed his eyes and started to lean in for a kiss. Her own eyes fluttered closed as she anticipated the touch of his lips._

_ A chilling scream broke through the forest, and both Jacob and Bella's heads snapped toward it. Jacob whistled to the other members of his pack and he took Bella's hand, hurrying them in the direction of the scream. She didn't want to go there, and tried to pry her hand from Jacob's grip, but he held on, dragging her along._

"_Stay with me," he said urgently. "It's not safe."_

_ They stopped on the outskirts of the meadow where she had spent so much time, but it had been transformed- not to a graveyard this time but to a small village. There were various huts and cabin-like structures made from trees, and there were the remnants of campfires and various projects, here a canoe half built, here a basket of corn half shucked. She saw no people, but as they entered the village tentatively, she felt a lump of dread forming in her stomach._

_They crept along the side of one of the houses, slowly turning the corner into the centre of the village, and Bella gasped. The bodies of three children lay face down in the dirt. They all had long brown hair so she couldn't make out genders, but she could see the awful wounds that had taken their lives, any one of which would have been fatal. A man sat in the middle of the three tiny bodies, rocking slowly back and forth, his arms clutching a young woman who was gasping for breath. Jacob let go of Bella's hand and she stepped forward, circling around the woman, careful to avoid stepping on the children as she did so._

_She came face-to-face with the man, who raised his head to fix her with a stare more hateful than anything she had ever experienced. Veyo's face was dark with rage, his cheeks streaked with the tears of soul-wrenching grief. He looked back to the woman in his arms, ignoring Bella, smoothing the hair from her face._

_She said something in their language to him, her voice barely more than a thread, and his tears started again. Bella hugged her arms around herself, looking around for Jacob, but she couldn't see him or any of his pack members. She looked back to Veyo, who was trying desperately to keep his wife alive, whispering to her, holding her tightly to his chest to try and warm her._

_Bella crouched down, just inches from them, not knowing what to do but not feeling like she could leave them either. The woman coughed and Bella watched as thick blood oozed from her lips- she was choking on it. Veyo let out a strangled cry, as though he too wanted to choke, and die here with his family._

_The young woman turned her head to the side, looking at Bella with desperate brown eyes. "You…" she whispered, so soft that Bella had to lean in a bit to hear her. She was so close that she could see every detail of the woman's frightened face, hear every gasp she made, the desperate breathing of someone who was afraid each breath might be her last. She struggled to speak. "Is… this… what you… want?" As the last word left her so did her life, and Bella watched as something warm and light vanished from her eyes, leaving them vacant and lost._

_Veyo threw his head back and howled, such an anguished, piercing keening sound that Bella backed away, clapping her hands over her ears in the hopes of drowning out his screams._

"_Bella," Jacob spoke up from the edge of the clearing, his voice gentle but insistent. "Are you listening?"_

Bella jumped awake so quickly she fell off the bed, gasping in fear. She put her hand to her chest, feeling her heart as it skipped along like a frightened rabbit's, pounding against her chest. It was dark outside, but she couldn't be sure of the time, knowing they were in a valley and the sun would go down more quickly because of that. She'd fallen asleep after Jacob left her hut, it had been a dream, nothing more… she tried to reassure herself, but she was almost choking on the fear that dream had brought her.

Mostly to get away from it, she stood up and plunged through the door of her hut, if only so she didn't have to be alone with the images running through her mind. She glanced up at the sky and saw the orange glow over the treetops that signaled that sunset was just beginning, and slowly she started to hear other sounds over the pounding of her heart; the sounds of voices, and laughter. She walked through the village, not sure where she was going but just wanting to keep moving. Eventually she decided she wanted to go to the lake, imagining that she might try skipping some rocks to help calm herself down.

The lake wasn't far from the village proper, but the forest went almost right up to the shore, so it took her a little while to find a place to break through in the darkness. When she did she was blown away again by the spectacular beauty of this place. The mountains seemed to rise up straight from the water itself, their surfaces blanketed with what seemed like millions of evergreens. The water was crystal-clear and free of any ripples or debris. It was like no one had ever been here before, and she understood why the people here had made it their home, and why they were so protective of their land. She walked straight out of the forest to the rocky shoreline, already searching for the perfect stone.

"Bella!" Jacob's voice rang out behind her, and she towards it. She saw him sitting on a log near where she'd emerged from the forest, but her heart sank as she realized he wasn't alone. Reluctantly she went over to the log, giving the pair a small smile.

"Hi Jake," she said warmly. "Abi."

"Jacob and I were just admiring the moon," Abi said with a smile, indicating the huge orb peeking over the mountain across from them, getting brighter every moment that the sun dropped lower. "It's nearly full."

"Yeah… I heard it's going to be full tomorrow," Bella said with a nod, hardly believing that Jacob would be married in just a little over twenty-four hours. She turned to look at the moon. "It's beautiful."

"We believe that the moon is the face of our Great Mother," Abi explained with a nod. "She is the cool light that bathes us, and ensures that all the wonders of life proceed normally- the tides come in and go out, animals migrate and come home once more, and the women become fertile and then cease to be fertile again. We even believe that the moon can influence our dreams."

"Really?" Bella asked dryly. "Well, I just had a horrible nightmare, so what do you think your goddess would say about that?" That sounded a little harsh, even to her own ears, but she could not make herself like this girl.

"Um… why don't you sit down?" Jacob offered, cutting off Abi before she could speak and scooting toward her so Bella could sit on his other side. With a sigh she did, though it was the last thing she wanted.

After a long, uncomfortable moment, Abi stood up, and Bella braced herself for a lecture. But the girl surprised her by saying, "I think you and Jacob need some time alone. Please excuse me." She turned and walked into the forest, disappearing from sight.

"Sorry," Bella mumbled to Jacob. "I didn't mean to make fun of her religion."

"What was your nightmare about?" he asked curiously, ignoring the subject for both their sake's.

She sighed. "It was weird… I don't know. It wasn't about anything I guess. It was just a dream."

He let it go and they sat in silence, gazing at the moon and the lake and how prettily it was reflected there. The stars were starting to come out, and the sheer number of them amazed Bella. She'd never been able to see so many in her life; people who thought the sky was black spent too much time in cities. She let out a huge sigh without really meaning to, and flushed as Jacob looked at her.

"I can't help but think about how everything is going to be so different after tomorrow," he finally spoke, in a quiet voice.

"That's an understatement," she answered softly. She swept a hand through her hair, closing her eyes for a moment. "I keep thinking something's going to stop it, you know? Like this can't really happen. Like someone's going to say something when the priest says 'speak now or forever hold your peace.'"

Jacob laughed. "Except there's not going to be a priest at this wedding," he said. "Just me and her."

"How exactly does that work?" she asked curiously.

"I'll show you," he said suddenly, standing and taking her hand. She held onto him as he led her along the shoreline quite a distance before turning them into the woods, helping her navigate the uneven terrain in the near pitch-darkness. They emerged at the base of one of the mountains, under a sheer cliff that went almost straight up. Bella looked up the massive rock face in awe.

"Come here," Jacob said, giving her hand a tug. She followed him, not sure where he was taking her but trusting him completely. For a moment something paused inside her-

_I trust him to take me anywhere. I trust that he would never do a thing to me that hurts, or that would scare me. The same kind of trust I had for Edward that day in the forest, when he told me what he was. But is that the trust I have for Edward now?_

She thought again of the pain she'd felt all the months she was gone, the depression and agony that had eaten away at her, destroying her from the inside out. And she imagined Edward coming here, asking her to leave Jacob in the woods this moment and go with him. Would she? The answer immediately popped into her mind, surprising her, _No._

"Bella," Jacob said, his words cutting through her thoughts. "It's here."

"What is?" she asked, letting him lead her. She put out a hand, feeling the cool jagged edges of the cliff's base, feeling her way along it as Jacob kept hold on her. Then he suddenly veered right, and she momentarily tensed as he pulled her inside the rock. She had a sudden crazy feeling that they were entering some other dimension, until the logical part of her brain caught up and said, _Cave._

She had thought the forest was dark, but here there was not one sliver of light, and she stepped carefully. But the ground was surprisingly clear of any kind of rubble, not even a dip in the ground to help her lose her footing. She was walking on soft earth but its smoothness rivaled asphalt.

Jacob stopped walking and she was just able to stop herself as well before colliding with him in the darkness. He took her hand and put it on his hip, confusing her for a moment, but then she understood when he let go of her hand and she heard a scraping sound. He was doing something and didn't want her to feel lost; her heart fluttered a little at the care he took with her.

The momentary brightness startled her as a flame roared to life, illuminating the cave for the first time. Jacob had lit something inside a small alcove in the wall, not quite a candle and not quite a torch, but it provided enough light that she could see quite well now. They were what appeared to be a passageway, so narrow that they could only walk single-file, and Jacob had to stoop just a little to pass through it without hitting his head. He led her on, lighting two more of those alcove torches before they finally emerged at the other end of the passageway.

It was a chamber, carved by human hands into a room about the size of Bella's bedroom at home. And it looked like it was intended for the same use; Jacob lit a couple more wall alcoves to light up the room, and she saw it was dominated by a huge wooden platform. It was covered in animal skins just like the one in Bella's hut, only this one was much bigger, easily three times the size of her own. There was little else in the room, and every surface of the walls and ceiling were decorated with drawings and symbols.

"This is where I'll be married," Jacob said, his voice hushed.

"Here?" Bella whispered.

He nodded. "We'll share food, and each drink from a ceremonial cup. Then it's done."

"That's it?" she whispered, the surprise obvious in her voice.

He grinned. "Yeah, pretty simple, huh? Then we stay here for ten days and ten nights and…" He trailed off, and even in the dim light she could see his blush.

Bella looked away, feeling uncomfortable, though she didn't quite know why, whether it was because it was embarrassing to talk about sex or whether it was because she didn't want to think of him being with someone else. She couldn't deny that was probably part of it, but what kind of selfish person was she? She wanted Edward… right?

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't know why I said that." He wasn't looking at her. "I don't even know why I brought you here."

"Jake…" she trailed off, having absolutely no clue what to say to him. Finally she blurted, "Why are you doing this? I mean, I know it's not because of me… but why are you willing to leave everything for this girl you barely know?"

He heaved a huge sigh. "It's not for her," he said softly. "It's for…" He was obviously struggling for words. "It's for…"

"What?" she asked gently.

Again he sighed. "It's for a lot of reasons. This is something I've known about for a long time… the invitation to come here. And when I changed, I felt so lost, Bella. I didn't know what was happening to me, and I knew it was something I was going to be stuck with for the rest of my life. And I don't know if I want to dedicate my life to hunting down vampires. I feel a duty to these people, to make a difference here. And it does have a little to do with you… when I found out you were engaged, or thought that you were engaged, I felt like… shifting into wolf form and running into the woods up here and never coming home."

She closed her eyes briefly, but let him go on.

"I almost did it, too," he said softly. "But then I remembered what was up here in these woods, and I thought… I don't know, if I was going to leave home I might as go somewhere where I can do something productive and help people. I admire this place, how they live, how hard they try to preserve their cultures- our cultures- and I want to be a part of that." He shrugged. "And part of me thought… maybe I could forget you," he finished quietly.

"Then why did you let me come here with you?" she whispered.

He let out a small laugh. "I don't know," he said honestly. "I just… I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I knew it had to happen, but… I just wasn't ready."

She met his eyes and smiled tentatively. "I wasn't either," she said softly.

Jacob gazed at her for a long moment then hesitantly took a step toward her, closing the distance between them. He reached up and touched the side of her face, stroking his fingertips over her cheeks and then smoothing the hair back from her face and over her ear. They were still looking into each other's eyes, and she felt that familiar warm flutter in her chest. She couldn't stop herself from leaning into his touch, just a little, not wanting him to take his hand away.

As though taking that as a silent cue, Jacob moved his hand down and took her chin, raising it gently. He closed his eyes and leaned into her face, pressing his lips onto hers. It happened so fast she didn't even have time to think.

His lips were warm and firm, moving tenderly against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as his hands rested loosely on her hips for a moment before wrapping completely around her, pulling her closer. She jumped as she felt the his tongue gently exploring her lips, but the feeling flooded her with such warmth that she couldn't help but open to him, inviting his tongue inside her mouth to tangle with her own. She heard him sigh and her arms went around his shoulders, holding him, one hand anchoring in his hair as though to stop him having any thoughts of pulling back.

But he didn't seem to want that either, as he gently pushed her back against the wall of the cave, cradling the back of her head in one hand so she wouldn't hurt herself against the rock face. She felt his other hand move just under the hem of her shirt, touching the skin of her lower back, and she tentatively placed her own hands under the thin material of the sleeveless shirt he wore. His muscles rippled under her touch, and she marveled at how soft and warm his skin was.

Finally, for the sake of oxygen, Jacob had to pull back, but he pressed kisses just to the sides of her lips, to her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, her forehead, and each of her closed eyes. She opened them to look at him, taking in the flush of his cheeks, his slightly heavier breathing, and the impossible darkness of his already dark eyes. He pressed his forehead against hers, his arms still fully encircling her.

"Bella," he said softly, and she waited for him to go on, but it seemed like all he'd wanted to say was her name, whispered tentatively as though he was afraid she might disappear or run away.

"Jacob," she whispered back, and she barely got the word out before he was kissing her again, and her head was spinning at the amazing sensations it sent shooting through her body. She couldn't get over the warmth of him, the life that coursed through him, the way their hearts pounded in unison when he pulled her close enough for their chests to touch. He had picked her up, sweeping an arm under her thighs easily to hoist her against him, so that he could move without having to stop kissing her. Through the haze of passion they were creating together Bella opened her eyes and saw that he was carrying her toward the huge bed that lay against the opposite wall.

Part of her froze. Part of her wanted nothing more than this.

He laid her down tenderly, covering her body with his own. She could feel every part of him, and now that they were so close together she could feel how much he wanted her. But he seemed content just to kiss her now, as he let go of her lips once again to let them both breathe. He trailed kisses from her lips down her throat to the exposed part of her chest, then back up again, teasing her tongue with his own once more.

The pleasure she felt drove out all else; nothing else existed but this place and the two of them. She felt as though they had fallen into another world, but part of her was still hesitating. He seemed to sense that, and didn't push beyond what they were already doing. But still, despite her hesitation there was another part of her that was begging for more. The more he kissed her, the more her body melted in response, and the more she melted the more she wanted him to go further, to feel his hands- and more- on her body.

"Jacob!" a sudden voice cracked through the darkness, shattering their private world. They both stiffened and Jacob turned his head, his reflexes a bit groggy with passion. Bella craned her neck, struggling to see past him to the source of the voice. Jacob shifted slightly and she was suddenly granted a clear view; there, through the dim light of the cave, she was just able make out Veyo's face, and he looked absolutely livid.


	9. Chapter 9

The anger that was set into Veyo's jaw was much stronger than any of the moments of rage she'd seen in him before. She felt her face burning with embarrassment and shame as he took in the scene before him.

"Oh God," she groaned, pushing at Jacob's chest and scooting backward out of his embrace. Slowly Jacob stood to face Veyo, and Bella glanced away in embarrassment, seeing that the evidence of what they'd been about to do was clearly visible in Jacob's pants.

Veyo saw it too, and sneered. "Is this what you brought her for?" he growled, pointing a finger in Bella's direction without looking at her. "To betray Abi the night before you're meant to be married?" He was shaking with anger.

Jacob looked angry too, but there was enough guilt mixed in with it that he was better able to control it, and he just slowly shook his head. "I… didn't plan this," he said finally, quietly.

Veyo turned his attention to Bella, his anger spilling over as he stalked toward her. "So it was you," he spat, as she shrank back against the head of the bed. "I should have guessed, you little slut, I should have-"

Jacob's arm snapped out and caught Veyo's, wrenching him around, his anger now much more visible. "Careful," he said in a low voice, venom dripping from the word.

Veyo jerked his arm away, breathing hard, and Bella barely had a chance to notice the ripple in his skin before his clothes burst as he shifted into the huge gray wolf she had seen him change into back at Jacob's house. Almost at the same moment Jacob pulled off his shirt and shifted too, and Bella watched as the two wolves circled each other, snapping their teeth and growling. Finally, Veyo charged first, biting at Jacob's legs and neck, as Jacob retaliated in kind. The chamber was barely big enough to contain them both, and she flattened herself against the cave wall in case they should tumble over the bed as they fought.

The wolves both had their teeth bared as they faced off, growling and snapping at one another. This time Jacob lunged first, burying his teeth in the scruff of Veyo's neck. Veyo's teeth sunk into the scruff of Jacob's neck as well, so they were locked together like that, rolling over one another in the cave, slamming into the walls occasionally as they struggled for dominance. For a moment Jacob had Veyo pinned against the wall and Bella thought he'd won, but then Veyo recovered and pushed Jacob back, pinning him against the entrance to the passageway. It was clear that they were very well matched.

When Veyo recovered and pushed Jacob away again off the passageway entrance, Bella saw a shadow of movement there, and after a moment she made out the figure of Abi moving into the room, holding a torch aloft. She saw Bella on the bed, then saw the two wolves fighting, and seemed to understand immediately what was going on.

"Enough!" she called, loud enough for them to hear over their growls. Bella saw the eyes of both wolves dart in the direction of the voice, and a moment later they separated, breathing hard, and each sat down on their haunches. Jacob stole glances back at Bella, as if to make sure she was okay, as Abi approached them both. First Veyo shifted back to human form, then Jacob followed a split-second later, so that both young men were kneeling, naked, in the dirt. Abi stopped in front of them, and now she was close enough that Bella could make out her expression in the dim light; she seemed immeasurably sad, and Bella felt a stab of guilt.

Abi laid her hand on the top of Veyo's head, holding it there for a long moment, and it seemed to calm him somewhat. When she removed it, she smiled at him and said, "Leave us." Veyo nodded, stood, and left the cave, leaving the tattered remnants of his clothes behind.

Next, Abi laid her hand on Jacob's head in the same fashion, but not for as long this time. Jacob raised his head as she released him and their eyes locked. She bent in front of him, touching his. Bella felt as if she was intruding on a private moment somehow, even though technically it was Abi who had intruded on theirs. "My brother," she said gently. "My fiancé. Is this not what you want? Have you come here with a divided heart?"

He lowered his head, but Bella wasn't sure if it was from shame or because of something else. He spoke hesitantly, "I do… have feelings for her. But I'm here. I know what I'm doing."

"I know we aren't in love," she said softly. "But I hope we can both learn to fall into it together. We have so much time."

"I… want that too," he said slowly.

Abi looked at Bella, giving her a smile. "You look so frightened, child," the girl said kindly; her face was as young as Bella's own, yet she carried herself and spoke as one much older. She held out her hand, beckoning Bella to her; even though Abi wasn't _her_ queen, she felt somehow compelled to obey. Abi touched Bella's face, looking into her eyes. "I know now why Mitsis felt you had to be here," she said gently.

Turning back to Jacob, she took his arm, pulling him to his feet. He looked a bit uncomfortable with his nakedness, but Bella was relieved to see he had at least calmed down, though she quickly averted her eyes so as not to embarrass him further. Abi kissed first his left cheek, then his right, having to stand on her tiptoes to do so. "We marry at this time tomorrow night. We will drink to the moon, and our Great Mother will seal our bond. Jacob." She smiled. "I am no virgin. I have already seen much of the world. You, though young, have lived your own life, too. When we come together, it will be a new beginning for us both. What either of us did before… it won't matter to Her… or to me."

Bella wasn't sure what she was hearing… was she actually saying…?

Abi turned and kissed Bella's cheeks as well, first the left, then the right. "I will have food and clothes brought for you in the morning," she promised. "But Jacob… tomorrow, if you do join yourself to me, you must be certain. I will not enter into a false marriage. To do such a thing would only hurt us all."

"I understand," Jacob said quietly. Abi smiled at him, and then she left. Bella stared after her before slowly walking to the bed and sitting down gingerly on the edge. She touched the fur of the layered animal skins, thinking about what had nearly happened between them.

Jacob found his shirt, looking relieved that it was at least intact, unlike every other scrap of fabric that had come off of him and Veyo as they'd shifted. He tied it around his waist like a makeshift loincloth; it didn't leave much to the imagination, but it let him keep his modesty intact. He sat down heavily next to her, and neither of them spoke for a long time.

"I'm so embarrassed," she said finally. "I think I'm just going to live in this cave for the rest of my life."

Jacob smiled a little. "Abi won't tell anyone. Neither with Veyo." Bella gave him a 'yeah, right' look, but he shook his head seriously. "He wouldn't, if she asked him not to."

"Okay, well… good." She played absently with the hem of her shirt, picking at a thread that was coming loose from the cotton.

He sighed. "The moment is so over, isn't it?" he said softly.

"Um… kind of," she agreed, though there was sadness in her voice. Would they ever have a moment like that again? If he went through with this marriage tomorrow, then that would have been their only chance. She hadn't realized how much she had taken for granted the 'what if' state of their relationship. And now… she shook her head, knowing she shouldn't boil everything down to sex, but now that she'd gotten a taste of what it would be like with him, she found she could hardly think of anything else.

One glance at Jacob, though, told her he had a lot more on his mind. "It's probably for the best," he said softly, making her heart sink a little. "I don't want to take advantage of you because I'm confused."

"I'm confused too," she offered. "And you weren't taking advantage of me… I was right there with you."

"And now I have less than twenty-four hours to make a decision I thought I'd already made," he said with a soft laugh, though there wasn't much humour in it. He dropped his head into his hands. "Man, I've made such a mess of things."

She touched his shoulder sympathetically. "It'll be okay," she promised, trying to be, if nothing else, a supportive best friend. She didn't necessarily believe those words, but she hoped he did. She chewed on her lip in discomfort for a few moments, a million thoughts passing through her mind. Then one of them made her face crack into a smile. "We're not, like, married or something now, are we?" she joked.

Jacob chuckled a little. "No," he said with a small smile. "Don't worry."

"Well… I have to say, that reaction… Abi's I mean… that was like… the last thing I expected."

"Yeah, me too," Jacob answered softly. She couldn't tell what he was feeling, so she just scooted close to him and put her head on his shoulder.

"Do you want me to go?" she asked finally, hesitantly.

"No," he said quickly, letting out a sigh. "I know the moment is gone… and I wouldn't feel right about doing anything else with you now anyway, but… I don't really want to be alone with all this."

"Okay," Bella said. "I completely understand. I'll stay here with you, Jake. Of course I will."

He smiled at her, reaching out to touch her hair lightly. "You know what everyone will think," he said softly.

She shrugged it off. "By everyone you mean Veyo, and I really don't care what he thinks of me. I mean, I doubt his opinion could get much worse at this point," she pointed out. She thought back to her dream, the heart wrenching screams he'd made over the bodies of his wife and children, and sighed. "Besides, I mostly feel bad for the guy… what he went through… that changes people."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, it does," he said quietly. "I remember when my mom died, and then Rachel and Rebecca left home… it tore our family apart."

Bella reached for his hand and squeezed. She had never heard him talk about his mom before this, and he'd rarely mentioned his sisters. It was as if the whole female side of his family had just disappeared, leaving Billy and Jacob alone to put the pieces of their lives back together. Bella herself had only one brief memory of Sarah Black, smiling warmly from the kitchen window as she and Jacob ran around the back yard of his house playing a hyper game of tag. She'd died two summers after that, in a head-on collision that killed her instantly. Bella had stopped visiting by then.

"My maternal grandmother was born here," he said suddenly, his voice soft, his words surprising her. "My mother spent time here as a child. I like to imagine her here… that I'm walk the paths she walked, touching the trees she touched." He shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know why. It's stupid."

"No it's not," Bella insisted, not letting go of his hand.

"I just wonder…" he whispered. "What she would think of me now, in this life. If she'd be proud… if she'd think I was making the right choices." He shook his head. I don't know why I care."

"She's your mom," Bella said gently. "Of course you care."

"When Abi and the others talk about the Great Mother… it's her I think of," he admitted.

Bella smiled. "Maybe that's the point," she offered.

Jacob's eyes met hers again and he smiled, but she could see his eyes were a little wet. "Bella… I'm going to miss you so much." He wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he could, and she curled into his embrace, letting the warmth of his skin and the safety of his arms engulf her.

"Let's not talk like that, okay?" she asked, closing her eyes. She felt him nod his head against the top of hers and tighten his arms just a little around her.

"You're right," he said gently, finally letting her go. "Come on, let's sleep… I don't know about you but I'm pretty tired."

Bella nodded and they both stood, pulling back some of the animal skins. She felt bad that he was dressed in nothing but a shirt-skirt and she was fully dressed, so she pulled her socks and jeans off and crawled into bed just in her underwear and tee shirt. They both got into bed and Bella scooted over to Jacob, laying her head on his chest as his arm snaked around her back to hold her close.

"I used to think it was so weird that Joey and Dawson always slept together so platonically on that Dawson's Creek show," Jacob said suddenly. "But it's actually kind of nice."

Bella didn't say anything for a moment. "You watched Dawson's Creek?" she finally burst out laughing.

"You're an only child," he protested. "You don't know what Rae and Becca were like. I was their little brother… I was powerless to stop them."

She continued giggling for a few moments before calming down. "You're right though," she said when she could finally speak without laughing. "It is nice."

"That's all I was trying to say," he said defensively, making her giggle again. He chuckled a little too, and then they both fell silent. "Goodnight, Bella," he said softly, pressing his lips to her forehead. She could feel his longing to put them somewhere else, and she felt the same way, but neither of them made a move to give a second chance to what they'd started earlier. Now that they had permission, it seemed wrong somehow… Bella wondered if that had been Abi's idea, but despite her desire to hate the girl, she actually thought she'd been sincere when she'd told them to go for it earlier.

Bella let out a sigh, closing her eyes and pulling the bearskin closer around herself, snuggling into Jacob's warmth. Part of her wanted to stay awake, if this was really the night before Jacob's wedding night, but her eyelids felt heavy, and as Jacob's hand started to slowly move up and down her back, she couldn't resist it any longer. Slowly she felt her awareness slipping away, and then her consciousness faded into a deep sleep.

* * *

When Bella awoke again, she felt more rested than she had in days. The room was still lit gently with firelight, and as she tilted her head up she saw that Jacob was still fast asleep, his chest rising and falling with slow, gentle breaths. She could feel his arm curled around her shoulders protectively, and he stirred just a little as she extracted herself from his embrace. She froze, but he let out a single soft huff of breath before settling back into sleep once more. Bella climbed out of the cozy bed and found her jeans on the floor of the cave, pulling them on. It was quite warm in the chamber, but she wanted to go outside to see if she could figure out what time it might be, and she expected it to be chilly.

Against the wall across from the bed she noticed a pile of neatly folded clothes and a wooden platter full of food. Her stomach growled, but she ignored it, stepping into the passageway instead. She was amazed again at how narrow it was. It was just big enough to walk through without touching either wall, as long as she was very careful and kept her posture perfectly straight. The ceiling was low, still comfortable for her, but she could see why Jacob had had to bow his head to walk through it. She couldn't remember quite how long it was, but she walked through the near-darkness, lit only by the dancing light of the occasional alcove fire, for about a minute or so before she could see a dim glow up ahead.

Emerging finally from the passage, she immediately glanced up at the sky, which was still dark, but she could tell by the disappearance of stars along the tops of the mountains and the light that was collecting there that dawn was coming. She just stood there, marveling at the silence and beauty that surrounded her.

"Sleep well?" a curt voice came from next to her. She jumped, whirling to face the source of the voice, hear heart catching in her throat. Veyo stood there, a bow slung casually over his shoulder. "Sorry," he added, though she didn't believe he was. "I'm here to make sure no one bothers you." His voice was tense.

She found herself blushing just a little, and it irritated her. "We didn't… do anything. We just slept," she mumbled, not wanting to explain herself to him but feeling as though she had to.

He looked away from her then, studying a patch of sky. She wasn't sure if she should go back into the cave or go back to the village or what, but while she was trying to decide he spoke. "Bella," he said, using her name for the first time since they'd met. His voice held a gentleness that surprised her. "This marriage is important to my people. But if Jacob chooses you, we won't stop him."

She didn't say anything for a long time; she just chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully, not daring to look at him. The stars were fading faster and faster as dawn started to break over the mountaintops. Finally, though she didn't really know why, she said, "I dreamt about your wife."

Veyo looked like she'd punched him in the stomach and she immediately regretted her words. He slowly dropped into a crouch, as if his legs had collapsed and could no longer hold him up. He looked up at her as though she had come down with some horrific disease and he was the one who had to tell her. She could see tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall. His jaw tightened as he stared at her. "Tell me," he said firmly.

Bella doubly regretted her words. "I don't think you want-"

"Tell me," he said again, cutting her off. He looked down at the ground. "I lived it. Nothing you'll say could be worse than that."

He was right about that, but she still considered her words carefully. "I saw you with her… I saw your kids. I watched her die."

Veyo was silent for a long moment. "I don't know why you would have seen that," he said finally, his voice quiet. He sounded genuinely confused.

"It was just a dream," she said softly.

"Nothing is ever just a dream," he answered, shaking his head. He stood again, the movement giving him the appearance that he was rising straight up out of himself. She hadn't noticed it before, when he'd been so busy throwing verbal barbs in her direction, but now she realized how much grace inhabited his every movement. She stole a glance at him; dressed in the same style of animal skin pants she noticed on most of the young men here, he was also topless, which allowed her to see the colours that adorned his body. She wondered about the meaning of the patterns of circles and lines that spanned the length of the left side of his back, up over that shoulder and across the left side of his chest. She wasn't sure if the red and white was painted on, or if it was a tattoo, but the colours were extremely vivid.

"Did she speak to you?" he asked, the hesitation clear in his voice. She didn't answer him, but instead just turned away. Veyo's hand closed on her shoulder and for a moment she was afraid he was going to hurt her, but he just forced her to face him again, and looked deeply into her eyes. The desperation in his own eyes made her feel terribly sad. "What did she say?" he asked urgently.

"It wasn't a message for you," she answered gently, almost apologetically. "She told me… that I shouldn't want to die," she blurted.

His eyes narrowed in confusion as he looked at her, finally releasing her shoulder. "Why would you want to die?"

"It's… complicated," she sighed, not wanting to get into this at all, and certainly not with him.

She was surprised that he let it go. He just gave a nod of his head and glanced back toward the cave before looking at her again. "You should wake him," he told her. "It'll be day soon."

_Yeah,_ Bella thought, somewhat bitterly. _His wedding day._

"Okay," she said, turning back toward the passageway, but she hesitated. "Veyo… I know you hate me or whatever… but I really am sorry about what happened to your family. It's horrible."

He let out a long breath. "I don't hate you personally," he said, not taking his eyes off the sky. "But you don't belong here."

She got the impression that he didn't mean this spot or even this village, but the whole of North America. She shook her head. "We can't leave now," she said softly. "Even if I did agree with you."

He didn't answer her for so long that she thought he had decided to ignore her. Finally she turned back toward the passageway, but she heard two soft words escape his lips, "I know." She didn't know what to say, so she just paused for a moment so he would know she'd heard him, and then disappeared back into the cave.

Jacob was already awake; he was sitting on the edge of the bed, the platter next to him, eating as though he hadn't eaten in weeks. She hung back for a moment, just looking at him. He had changed into the clothes that had been provided for him, a pair of buckskin pants that clung to every muscle of his legs, and he was shirtless, though she saw one or two more pieces of clothing on the bed behind him. He looked so beautiful in that style of dress, the soft browns setting off the russet colour of his skin perfectly. For a moment she had an irrational moment of regret that he'd cut his hair so short, since it would certainly complete the picture.

She finally entered the cave and went to him, sitting down next to the platter and grabbing some food. He'd already eaten about half. "A couple more minutes and I would have gone hungry," she remarked dryly, smiling at him.

He grinned at her. "I didn't know if you were coming back and I didn't want to let it go to waste."

"Oh, you're so considerate," she teased.

"Did you sleep okay?" he asked curiously.

"Yeah," she said, blushing a little. "I slept great, actually."

"Me too."

"It's dawn," she told him.

"I figured," he answered thoughtfully. "If I go through with it, tonight I'll have to fight my way to this cave."

"Why?" she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion, though her heart had skipped a beat at his use of the word 'if.'

He shrugged. "They paint me up, and I have to elude their best warrior through the woods to get here… Abi will be waiting inside."

Bella lost her appetite and put down the nuts she'd been nibbling on. "And what if you don't elude him?" she asked hesitantly.

He smiled. "Don't worry, I will."

"But if you don't," she insisted. "Will he hurt you?"

"No," Jacob promised with a shake of his head. "It's ceremonial."

She was a bit relieved, but she was afraid. He knew so little about this place or these people, how did he know for sure that it wasn't some test, that if he failed and was caught, they would hurt him or worse?

"Hey," Jacob said, reaching out and touching her shoulder. "Don't look so worried. It's going to be fine."

"If you do it," she pointed out.

"Yeah," he answered, looking down at the food in his hands. "If I do it." He looked up at her again, gazing at her for a long moment, and then he glanced away, seeming to hesitate.

"What is it?" Bella asked, wondering what other ceremonial life-endangering thing he might have to do.

He sighed. "Last night… when I shifted. Sam got in contact with me." She waited, and he went on, "They got her, Bella. She's dead."

Relief washed over her and she found herself almost grinning. Victoria, the woman who'd been stalking her for what seemed like forever, was dead. "Well that's great," she said enthusiastically.

But Jacob looked sad. "Yeah," he said glumly.

"Jake… isn't this what you wanted?"

"Yeah, of course," he agreed quickly. "It's not that. She needed to die and I'm glad she is. But now…" He looked away again. "There's nothing keeping you here. It's safe for you to go home."

She touched his arm lightly, and hesitantly he met her eyes. "But I don't want to go home right now," she said honestly.

"Bella… Sam and the others were working with the Cullens to get her. Edward will know that I know she's dead. If you don't come home…"

Bella stood, letting out a breath of frustration. "I don't want to go home right now," she repeated. "I can do what I want, Jake. I'm eighteen."

He smiled at her and stood, walking over to her. "Oh, _I_ know that," he said pointedly, not having to add 'but will Edward respect it?' Instead he said, "As far as I'm concerned, you're welcome for as long as you want to stay."

"Good," she answered stubbornly. "Then it's settled. Come on, Veyo's waiting for us outside."

Jacob looked like he wanted to continue their conversation, but he just nodded slowly. He returned to the bed and shoved another couple handfuls of food into his mouth before grabbing the shirt that had been given to him, pulling it on. It was made of the same animal skin fabric, and it certainly completed the look, even if he did have short hair. He caught her staring and smirked at her, and she returned the smile, blushing a little.

She turned back toward the passageway, feeling him falling into step behind her. Suddenly, she shivered a little as his hand came up, his fingertips venturing under the hem of her shirt to touch the soft skin of her back. At first she was uncertain, but she couldn't deny what his touch was doing to her. It was almost innocent, like his fingers were asking permission. She found herself slowing her pace a little, prolonging their time in the tunnel, and granting him the permission he craved. But he obviously wanted more, because his other hand joined the first and they closed over her hips, pulling her backward into his body.

"Jake," she whispered, but she didn't have anything else to say. She couldn't pretend that she wanted him to stop, so she didn't. She let him turn her toward him and wrap his arms around her. He pushed her back against the wall of the tunnel, and she could hear in his breath that he wanted her. Still, he held back, just laying his forehead against hers, holding her close but not going any further than the light stroking of his fingers against her sides and back. Her eyes met his in a question and she was amazed at his eyes, not only how dark they were but how immeasurably soft, how alive they were as he looked at her.

"I can't… do what I want to do," he whispered to her, sounding frustrated. "I still have to think about everything. My decision isn't made."

"I know," she whispered back, not caring about that right now, not caring how wrong it was to go further when he still might marry someone else tonight.

He pressed a kiss just to the left of her mouth, his lips firm and needy as they landed against her cheek. She could feel the amazing level of restraint that went into that action, this kiss an imposter for the one he wanted to give her. But she understood why he didn't give even that; if their lips had touched, she knew there would be no going back this time. The tension between them was almost electric; something had been unlocked the night before and until she went home or they acted on what they wanted most, it would remain. She was actually afraid that Veyo would see it manifested in the air as they finally moved outside.

But he seemed not to sense that anything was wrong, just nodding at them both as they emerged from the tunnel. He just smirked at Jacob's new outfit and said, "That's a much better look for you."

Bella looked down at her hands with a tiny smile as they started down the path back toward the village. She had to agree.


	10. Chapter 10

The village was boisterous with activity despite the early hour of the morning. The kids ran around, hyper with a full night's sleep, even the littlest ones seeming unsupervised. It was mostly women up and about, and most seemed to be preparing food.

"The men are out hunting and fishing," Veyo explained. "I'll be joining them soon… tonight's feast will make the last one look like nothing."

Bella and Jacob exchanged a look, and she could see the discomfort plainly on his features- he still hasn't made his decision, and they were preparing this huge celebration… she could only imagine the awkwardness that canceling it might bring.

"I'd like to help," Jacob offered. "Can I go with you?"

Veyo looked pleased. "Of course," he said. "Come on, let's get you some weapons."

Jacob smiled, looking genuinely excited. He turned to Bella. "Well… I guess I'll see you in a couple of hours." He seemed to be hesitant about leaving her, but she gave him a reassuring smile and waved the two young men off.

She continued down the main village path alone, ignoring the curious glances from the women she passed. A little boy who was perhaps four ran up to her and tugged on her hand, then squealed and bee-lined it for the trees, disappearing with his giggling friends. Bella tried to take it in stride, but she felt like an alien.

"Bella!" a warm voice rang out as she rounded one of the houses. She saw Abi breaking away from a group of women nearby; she came over to Bella, smiling.

"Hey," Bella said uncomfortably. "Um… so can I help with anything? Everyone is so busy."

"If you'd like to, of course," Abi answered with a smile. "But first, let's go for a walk."

"A walk?" Bella repeated apprehensively. "Okay… sure." It was the last thing she wanted, but she couldn't think of a tactful way to refuse, and Abi was being so nice to her. Bella couldn't figure her out; in the real world, they'd be mortal enemies after last night. Yet Abi was behaving as if it had somehow made them closer, even friends.

Abi led her toward the forest, on a path that Bella knew would lead to the lake, and after only another moment of hesitation she followed, falling into step beside the other girl. Bella caught sight of the mischievous little boy who had grabbed her hand, playing with a troop of other little boys and girls along the path. "Don't you worry about them getting lost?" Bella asked. She was used to kids under five being hawked, or at least supervised. But some of these were barely more than babies, two or three years old.

"No," Abi answered. "They know the land. And I have the perimeters guarded at all times- a raccoon doesn't come here without my warriors knowing about it." As they approached the kids they gazed up at Bella shyly, but they didn't run away giggling this time. Abi reached down and stroked her hand through the hair of every one she could reach in turn as they passed them, and they all grinned before dispersing again.

"But what about the lake?" Bella asked doubtfully. "And streams and gullies and stuff?"

Abi smiled at her. "Children have been raised in the forests since the beginning of time," she said patiently. "I have trouble understanding why parents in some cultures are so paranoid about such things."

"I don't know," Bella answered with a shrug. "I guess they're worried they'll drown or fall down and hurt themselves."

Abi nodded. "And so they do, once or twice in a hundred years. Those are very sad times, but not justification to restrict the movements of all the rest." Bella didn't say anything either way, she just shrugged again. Abi's smile widened. "You disagree," she pointed out. "And so you should. What a different world you've been raised in."

"I feel like I've stepped back in time," Bella admitted.

"I feel exactly the same way when I've been gone and then come home again," Abi agreed. Bella couldn't help but be drawn in by the girl's open smile.

"Where do you go?" she asked curiously; she'd imagined that they all stayed here, cut off from the world, at all times, only venturing out if necessary, like Veyo and Mitsis coming to fetch Jacob.

"I've been many places," Abi answered. "Lately I've been writing a book on the rights of indigenous people. That's necessitated some research and travel, not to mention meetings with various people."

"You're going to publish a book?" Bella asked, surprised.

Abi nodded thoughtfully. "It seems like a good thing to do. There are things I want to say, and a book seems a good way to say them. I also send speakers to various conferences and meetings worldwide that concern my people… however, I have to be careful with that, considering our immortality." She smiled.

"Right… that would be weird, if someone kept showing up at meetings and never looked different," Bella mused.

"Yes, exactly," Abi answered with a little laugh.

"I guess I imagined that you… I don't know… kind of lived in your own world. That you didn't really leave here."

Abi let out a long sigh. "This is a beautiful place," she said quietly, a statement that Bella couldn't argue with. "And it is, as you say, a moment in time, captured here. I've worked hard to keep it that way, as did my mother before me. But to pretend it represents the world… that would be very foolish of me."

"Do people listen to you?" Bella asked curiously, wondering how much power or sway Abi and her people had outside this perfect world they'd created.

The other girl's smile was sad. "Almost never," she answered. "Come, we're nearly at the lake."

Bella fell silent, and she heard the sound of water lapping against the smooth stones of the shore up ahead through the trees. She stole a glance at Abi, wanting so badly to hate her, but the more she interacted with her the more she found she was almost drawn to her. The girl certainly had a presence, and when she spoke it was hard not to listen, though Bella could understand how people outside this place would have no problem ignoring her. She studied Abi, her perfect posture, the fluidity in her movements that Bella had noticed in Veyo this morning, as though they were perfectly at home in every millimeter of their bodies, with none of the awkwardness that Bella herself often felt in her own.

Abi was dressed in the same soft brown clothes fashioned from animal skins that everyone else wore. A pair of leggings stopped at her mid-thighs, and a sleeveless shirt clung to her torso in loose folds, ending in a V-shape at the front, which draped across to hide some of the bare flesh left between the pants and shirt. Still, as she walked Bella could see more of the girl than would be socially acceptable outside this village, despite the small loincloth she wore tied around her waist. She wondered how Abi dressed when she went outside, and couldn't quite imagine her in modern clothes. She looked for paint like what she'd seen on Veyo's shoulder and chest, but if Abi had any it was hidden beneath her clothes. Her hair was decorated with a few feathers, but there was nothing in her style of dress that separated her from the others, and nothing that seemed to mark her as royalty.

They broke through the forest at the shore of the lake, and Abi paused to take a deep breath of air, her eyes closing. She opened her arms at her sides, palms pointing toward the sun, which had risen much higher in the sky by now, and then she raised her arms in an arc until her hands pointed directly upward at the sky. After a few moments of silence, her eyes opened and she dropped her arms again. She turned to Bella and smiled. "Would you like to walk the shore?"

"Um… sure," Bella answered. Abi took her hand and led her to the edge of the water, and they started to follow the curve of the lake as they walked. Bella marveled at how easily Abi wandered across the stones of the lakebed, despite her bare feet.

They were silent for so long that Bella felt she had to say something. "So… Jake told me about your mom," she said. "I'm really sorry."

Abi tossed her a small smile. "No need to be sorry," she said. "Everyone dies."

"I know. But still. It must be hard."

"Yes," Abi agreed after a moment of thought. "It is."

Again the silence. "So… um... she was queen before you?" Bella asked dumbly, of course already knowing answer.

"Yes," Abi replied. "She ruled for just over five hundred years, and founded this community."

"Wow," Bella gasped, hardly able to imagine such a span of time.

Abi nodded. "She was expected to rule much longer, but she died before her time." She smiled sadly. "I watched this queenship destroy her. I saw the invaders come, and make promises they never kept, and every day of my childhood she regretted not organizing war parties to drive them into the sea when their numbers were still only small." She sighed, glancing at Bella and picking up on her discomfort. She stopped walking, and put her hands on Bella's shoulders. "I'm not like Veyo," she said softly. "Though we share much of the same ideals. But I don't hate you, or even America. I keep in mind how different the world looks when you are all so very young. It's much easier to forget the mistakes of our great-grandmothers than it is to forget our own. Most of you are truly innocent in this."

Bella was relieved to hear it, but she still felt a deep sadness and she wasn't sure why. They started walking again and she said, "It must have been hard to take over from her." Quickly she added, "I mean, if you feel like being the queen destroyed her."

"I was terrified," Abi agreed. "I didn't think I would be so young when she died. I'm only two hundred and seventeen." She grinned. "I know that seems very old to you, but trust me, it isn't. Not for this. When I went to Mitsis to hear my coronation prophecy, I was shaking."

"Coronation prophecy?" Bella asked. "What's that?"

"Since our foremother Maha Kia's time there has always been a fortune-teller among us."

"Mitsis," Bella said, nodding.

"Yes, that's right. She's been with us for some time… she was born long before I was. And when a new queen takes over her mother's role, whether through death or retirement, she is given a coronation prophecy, so she might know the end even at the beginning. It's a tradition that goes back generations."

"So what was yours?" Bella asked curiously. Abi looked over at her hesitantly, and Bella saw there were tears in her eyes. "Oh. Sorry… I didn't mean-"

"No," Abi said quickly, taking Bella's hands in hers and smiling through her tears. "No, don't feel you've asked an inappropriate question." She let out a long breath. "Five days after my mother died, when our mourning time had finished, I went to Mitsis and knelt in front of her. She put her hands on my face and told me how my queenship would end," she explained. "She said, 'You will rule for a long time, and there will be many who will love you. But in the end you will die alone, and your people will be nothing more than dust and memory.'" She let out a shuddering breath, the words obviously still as raw as when she first heard them eighteen months ago. "And so, I now know the ending to my own story."

Bella didn't say anything for a long moment, just absorbing the other girl's words. Finally she blurted, "But… that's awful."

Abi laughed, and her tears spilled over as she did. She wiped them away. "You're right," she said, squeezing Bella's hands before releasing them. "It is awful."

"But I don't get it," Bella insisted. "How can you be so… happy?"

"The purpose of the prophecy isn't to make me miserable," Abi answered. "The point isn't whether the vision is positive or negative- the point is that it's the truth. And the truth can't hurt us."

Bella shook her head slowly. "I don't think I could do it," she said. "I can't imagine stepping up to lead, knowing that in the end…"

"I'll fail?" Abi finished her sentence. "In your culture, do you not have a tradition of captains going down with their ships?" She smiled as Bella nodded. "How can you accept such a strange tradition of men killing themselves because of love for inanimate objects, yet you can't see how I would accept my role as queen?"

Nodding slowly, Bella had to see her point. "But still," she said. "I… I don't know how you do it. It must be so scary to know something so terrible is coming."

"It is," Abi agreed. "But I can't abandon my people."

"So… you're going to try and change it?" Bella asked, trying to find the ray of hope in this tragedy.

"I can't change it. It will happen." She smiled. "Mitsis is never wrong."

"But… if they're going to be dust," Bella reasoned, amazed at the girl's calm when she herself felt sick about this, "and you love them so much… then do you really want to be there for that? It's so… terrible."

"We are all witnesses to history, Bella," Abi answered gently. "I could never leave them, even knowing what I know- especially knowing what I know." She sighed, and brushed the last of her tears away. "It is a terrible burden to rule in these times," she said, swallowing past a lump in her throat. "And truly I am doomed." She sighed, shrugging a little. "But I love this land, and I love these people… with all my heart. This is my fate, and yet it is also my gift. No one should envy me, but I wouldn't trade my life for any other."

Bella just shook her head, feeling almost ashamed for all the things she took for granted in her own life, the little things she let get under her skin. And here this girl had to deal with the weight of the world and more on her shoulders, and the knowledge that no matter how hard she worked in her life, at the end it would mean nothing. Bella couldn't imagine the kind of strength it took to be in her shoes, and Abi was right- she definitely didn't envy her. They kept walking, not saying anything for a long moment, as they were both lost in thought.

"So where does Jake fit into all of that?" she asked tentatively. Despite Abi not seeming to mind what had happened between her and Jacob the night before, she was still wary of bringing him up with her.

But she still seemed fine about it, and smiled at Bella. "Jacob was chosen for me by my mother," she explained. "His great-grandfather led the Quileute pack for some time and he has a strong bloodline. The daughter he gives me would make a fine leader for our people."

"Um… right," Bella answered uncomfortably. "But… if you know how it all ends… would she ever even get the chance?"

Abi stopped walking, and looked at Bella apprehensively. "It is true what you say," she said slowly. "I know this. I want children… I want to experience motherhood. But I'm hesitant about giving birth to a daughter… I worry about what the world will be like for her, after I'm gone." She sighed. "But, on the other hand, the people know nothing of my prophecy, outside my inner circle… and they expect an heir. I don't want them to lose hope. And I suppose… if there were no throne to give her, she would have to find a new purpose in life. I would hope to raise her to be strong enough that she could do that."

"So… is your plan to have kids right away?" Bella asked, hardly able to get the words out. It was weird enough imagining the two of them together tonight, let alone _that._

Abi smiled. "That would be the wish of many people here," she agreed. "And it is one of the purposes of confining us to the cave for ten days and ten nights. But no, that isn't my preference. Jacob is young, and I don't see the need to rush… particularly considering my prophecy. If our Great Mother chooses to send me a child this week, then so be it… if not, I would welcome the chance to get to know Jacob better without that extra ingredient. We have the potential of eternity together, after all."

"Yeah…" Bella trailed off, feeling the same sadness she felt whenever she thought of staying with Edward but still being human.

"What is it?" Abi asked gently, picking up on her discomfort.

Bella sighed. She didn't know why she felt compelled to trust a girl she should by all rights dislike, but she did. "Nothing… I just… you're right about the eternity thing. All you immortals… you're so lucky. You could be married to Jacob for like a thousand years, and I'd be long dead. It makes me feel… I don't know, inadequate I guess."

Abi didn't say anything for a long time. They'd gone almost halfway around the lake now, and the sun was quite high in the sky. The smells of the feast meats being cooked were wafting over the water at them, but Bella wasn't hungry. She gazed at the gentle ripples at the edge of the lake, where the water lapped over the smooth stones of a hundred different colours. She got lost in the myriad of grays and browns and whites, so that when Abi put her arms around her, she was taken completely off-guard.

At first she just stood there awkwardly, but then she gave in. Slowly she raised her arms and put them around Abi as well, hugging her back, marveling again at how petite this girl was, quite a contrast to the amount of power she held here. Bella was a good two or three inches taller than the girl, and she wasn't that tall herself. She just held Bella quietly, her presence warm but unassuming, and suddenly, Bella felt tears stinging her eyes. Before she could force them back or pull away and hide them, she was crying. She expected Abi to be irritated or even embarrassed, but she just threaded a hand through Bella's hair and let her cry.

It took a short time for her to regain her composure, and she retreated from Abi's embrace, wiping at her face. She saw a large wet spot on the girl's shoulder and blushed, mumbling an apology.

Abi looked at it as well and smiled, giving a shrug. "It's deerskin," she said. "It'll dry quickly." She took Bella's hand and led her over to a log, where they both sat.

"I'm really sorry," Bella said, her face now flaming with embarrassment.

"Don't be," Abi said. "Crying is no more shameful than laughing." She reached over and put her hand on Bella's shoulder, as though to remind her that she wasn't alone. She couldn't help but be comforted by the touch.

"I don't even know why I was crying though," Bella answered, sniffling a little.

"Jacob's not the first immortal you've met, is he?" Abi asked astutely. At Bella's surprised look, she went on, "You have feelings for a vampire?" Bella's mouth dropped open and Abi smiled. "Don't be disturbed," she said with a small giggle. "It wasn't hard to figure out… you used the phrase 'all you immortals,' you obviously have feelings for Jacob but there's something holding both of you back, and you live near La Push. I know there's a coven there, and that the Quileute have a treaty with it… I wouldn't be a very observant leader if I couldn't put those pieces together."

"Right," Bella answered with a nod. "Well, you hit the nail on the head."

Abi sighed. "You poor girl," she said sympathetically. "This is a lot for someone your age to deal with."

Bella felt the tears again, but this time she got them under control.

"What's his name?"

"Edward," she said softly.

"Do you love him?"

She had intended to cut the conversation short as soon as she said his name, but somehow she couldn't. Abi was looking at her with such understanding, interest, and care… it made no sense for her to be so nice to Bella, but she seemed genuine, and Bella had no one in her life that was an impartial observer to talk to about these things. Everyone that was important to her, other than Jacob and Edward themselves, had no idea what was going on with her. It was a relief to hear someone say they understood and sympathized, even if it was Abi. "I do love him," she answered softly. "Everything's just so… screwed up. I didn't realize…" She trailed off, shaking her head.

"How much you loved Jacob, too?" Abi finished for her.

Bella didn't say anything for a long moment. But she forced herself to answer, "Yes."

"Bella," Abi said, finding her hand and giving it a squeeze. "There is nothing wrong with loving more than one person. A lifetime- even a mortal one- is long. People change, and grow apart and together. Things change, too."

"I know that," Bella insisted. "But it… hurts them."

Abi sighed. "Well, that is often true," she agreed thoughtfully. "So… did you come here to prevent my marriage from happening?" Again, Bella was surprised that she didn't sound the least bit angry.

"No," she answered quickly. "I just… there's this vampire named Victoria, who was out to get me because she wanted to take revenge on Edward for killing her mate. Edward's family and the Quileute pack were both tracking her, but she was really hard to catch." The whole story just came pouring out. If Abi was anything, she was easy to talk to. "They were worried she would find me before they could kill her. Edward wanted to take me to Florida to visit my mother, but I'd just found out that Jacob was coming here. I wanted to go with him, because I knew that Victoria would assume I was with Edward, and would probably just leave to come looking for us, so they'd lose the chance to get her. So now-"

"Is that the only reason?" Abi interrupted.

"What?"

"Is that the only reason you came here?" she repeated. "To let the others kill this woman? You didn't come here to be with Jacob?"

"I… no, I wanted to spend more time with him. This whole thing just came out of nowhere… and suddenly he was leaving, and I didn't want him to go without-" She broke off, stopping herself mid-sentence.

"Without knowing how you felt?" Abi asked gently.

"No," Bella answered. "Well, maybe. I don't know." She stood and paced away from the log, then came back and sat down again. "For you it might be easy to love more than one person, but I don't have that luxury. I'm eighteen years old. Edward is perpetually stuck at seventeen, and Jacob is pretty much stuck around there too. I'm just going to get older… so I have to… I was planning to choose…"

Realization dawned in Abi's eyes. "Oh, I understand now," she said thoughtfully. "You were going to ask Edward to make you like him."

"Yes, exactly," Bella answered, relieved that she hadn't had to say it. "And Jacob hates that idea so much. Not just because of the treaty, but because…" She trailed off, trying to organize her thoughts.

"Because he doesn't want you to die," Abi finished for her with a nod.

"Yeah," Bella sighed. "And ever since this all started happening, I've been having these horrible dreams… like my subconscious is siding with him and telling me not to go through with it. I mean, I saw the graves of all my friends and my family, I saw Edward and his sister telling me how horrible that life is, I saw Jacob a bunch of times, even myself as a vampire. And I saw…" She broke off, hesitating.

"What?" Abi asked curiously.

"Veyo," Bella answered softly. "His family. His wife told me not to do it right before she died."

Abi's eyes closed briefly, and then opened again and she studied Bella thoughtfully. "It sounds like you're receiving some powerful messages, Bella," she said softly. "Both from yourself, and from others… and, as I would interpret it, from the Great Mother as well. But whatever you believe, you should respect your hesitation. That is a decision which you can never take back."

"I know," Bella answered. "Maybe I'm just scared."

"So you should be," Abi said firmly. "Even if this choice is right for you, it is too huge not to be frightening."

"Then what should I do?" Bella asked helplessly.

Abi didn't answer for a long moment. "You could see Mitsis," she mused, thinking aloud. "But I don't think your future will be clear enough for her to see anything of use, when you're in such a chaotic state. This is a difficult choice. To give up your life for another person… how romantic. But if you make the wrong choice, you would carry that burden for eternity."

"But… I wouldn't have to die to be with Jacob," Bella said softly.

"You're right," Abi answered with a smile. "And it is possible for us to grow old with the ones we love."

"I feel terrible talking to you about all this," Bella said suddenly, her face burning in shame. "You're supposed to be marrying him, and I'm asking for advice about whether I should steal him from you or not."

"Bella," Abi said gently. "You can't steal one person from another. No one belongs to anyone but themselves. I don't want you to misunderstand me- I want to marry Jacob. But if his true feelings lay with you, then I never can. Do you see that?"

"Yes… I guess so," Bella answered thoughtfully.

"Do you want to die?" Abi asked curiously.

"No," Bella answered; if there was one thing her agonizing dreams and obsessive thoughts had made her sure of, it was that she didn't want to die. "But I think I'm willing to if it means being with Edward."

"And if you didn't have to die to be with Edward, for the sake of argument… if all things were equal and you could be with either Edward or Jacob, but stay exactly how you are, do you know which you would choose?"

Bella considered that question. She hadn't really thought about it like that, she'd just been thinking about what she'd have to give up to be with Edward, and what she wouldn't have to give up to be with Jacob. "I… don't know. I guess…" She sighed. "Well, the thing is, I'm already with Edward. He even asked me to marry him. But I guess I… like… Jacob too. I have feelings for him. I can't deny that. And I know that if I stay with Edward now I won't ever get to find out whether it would have worked between him and me. But if I leave Edward to try things out with Jacob and we don't work, then I'll have nothing."

Abi considered her words for a long moment, and then frowned. "Bella," she said. "If things didn't work out between you and Jacob, why couldn't you simply go back to Edward? Would he not wait for you?"

Bella opened her mouth, and then closed it. "I don't know," she said finally, glancing away. "I'm not… he's so much… better than me. He left me once, to protect me, and it was… horrible. I thought he didn't want me anymore. And I felt like… he was right. I wasn't good for him… why shouldn't he leave? He's so perfect… and I'm so…" She trailed off.

The silence stretched between them for a long time.

"Fear is a terrible reason to be with someone, Bella," Abi said finally, her voice soft. "Love, if it's real, will wait for you."

"But I'm terrified that he won't," Bella said quietly.

"Then what you truly fear is that his love for you isn't real," Abi answered gently. "Do you want to give up your life to ensure that you stay together, not knowing whether he loves you enough as you are?"

"He doesn't want me to change," Bella said defensively. "He said he doesn't care if I get old or anything, but he wants me to live. It's me who's been pressuring him to change me."

Abi smiled at her and said, "Exactly."

One of Bella's dreams suddenly came back to her in vivid clarity.

_She and Jacob were standing close together. He stroked her cheek, and then laid the back of his hand against her neck, feeling her pulse beating there. "You're so alive," he whispered. "Bella, you've been idolizing death so long, do you even remember how amazing life is?" Before she could answer, he lifted her chin a little and his face leaned in towards hers._

_Her eyes fluttered closed as he said gently, "True love demands no sacrifices."_

She'd thought he'd just been accusing Edward of demanding her to sacrifice her life to be with him, but now she realized Jacob had been talking to _her_ too, trying to get her to see that she didn't need to demand sacrifices of herself either. He wanted to love her exactly as she was, and so did Edward. But maybe the difference was that she didn't want to love Edward exactly as she was… but with Jacob… his life, his warmth, breathed new life into her own soul… when she was with him, she wanted to be alive. Death seemed frightening and morbid again through his eyes.

"I don't know what I want anymore," she admitted, dropping her head into her hands.

"I know, child," Abi said softly. She gently patted Bella's head and hugged her again. "But how fortunate that you've realized this now and not when it was far too late."

She had a point; Bella couldn't argue with it. "Maybe I should just-"

"Wait," Abi said, holding up a hand. Bella heard the sound of hurried footsteps crashing through the forest toward them. Both girls stood, and a huge gray wolf rounded the bend, bounding toward them. Bella recognized the pattern of Veyo's fur, and sure enough the young man shifted to human just as he reached them, crouched naked on the stones before them.

"Abi," he said, breathing hard. His voice was urgent and he glanced at Bella for a moment, saying only vaguely, "We need you in the hall- now."

"I have to go," Abi said quickly to Bella, as she removed her shirt; Bella averted her eyes from the girl's breasts and nodded as she saw Abi drop her leggings and untie the cords that held her loincloth in place. It dropped to the ground as well, leaving her buck naked and completely unconcerned about it. Bella noticed that Veyo didn't look away from it either; she wondered if she'd ever get used to the casual nudity here.

"We'll talk again soon," Abi promised, before shifting into a wolf herself, Veyo changing form as well. Abi was slightly smaller than Veyo in wolf form; the base colour of her fur was dark brown, nearly black, and she had various accents of creams and grays here and there. She was quite striking, but Bella only had a moment to take all this in, as the wolves bounded off into the woods again.

She gathered up Abi's clothes, folding them neatly, and headed back to the village; everyone seemed like they were in a good mood, excited for the festivities ahead. She set Abi's clothes down in what seemed like a safe place and got up the courage to approach a group of girls near her own age, who were shucking corn, something Bella felt fairly confident about her ability to do.

"Hey… um… do you need some help?" she asked tentatively. The girl nearest to her, who looked about twenty and had the most amazing black eyes, smiled up at her. "Sure," she said. "Thanks. Take a seat." Relieved, Bella sat next to her and picked up an ear of corn, pulling off the skin and the little threads that clung to it. She tossed it in the basket as the other girls were doing, and she soon settled into a routine with them. They weren't exactly gregariously chatty with her, but they were friendly, and she was glad of it. She was sure it helped that she was being useful.

After a little while, she spotted a familiar face coming toward their little group. Jacob was walking with another man, a good five years older than him, with a broad, open face and huge arms. She had seen Jacob bulk up amazingly in the last few months, but this guy made him look almost small. They were smiling and laughing, talking about something, and then Jacob caught sight of her. He grinned and slapped the older guy on the back, who headed in the other direction as Jacob approached her.

"Having fun?" Jacob asked as he neared her and the other girls, who looked up at him in curiosity; one or two started giggling.

"Hey, I'm going to… I'll be right back," Bella said quickly to her companions; they nodded as she stood and walked a short distance away with Jacob. "Who was that guy?" she asked.

"His name's Chay," Jacob answered. "He's the one I'm going to have to fight and elude tonight. He was telling me all about the ritual while we were out hunting. I shot a deer!" He seemed immeasurably proud. "All the guys were impressed that a city boy like me could hunt with a bow and arrow- they had a bet going that I'd have to shift into a wolf to catch anything."

"Wait, wait," Bella said, her heart sinking. She caught sight of the guy through the crowd again, and again took in his massive muscles and height. He was built like a tank. "You have to fight _him?"_

"Don't worry," Jacob insisted. "It's a ceremony."

"Yeah but he looks like…"

"He's their top warrior," he answered with a little shrug. "Of course he's going to be built. Really, Bella, don't worry."

"I don't want you to do this," she blurted.

Jacob didn't say anything for a long moment. He reached up and swept the hair back from her face. "I won't get hurt," he said gently.

"No, I mean…" She trailed off, her voice failing her.

"I was up on the ridge at one point," Jacob said softly when it was clear she didn't know how to finish her sentence. "I saw you and Abi at the lake. What were you talking about?"

Bella hesitated. "Um… we talked about a bunch of stuff."

"What stuff?" he pressed.

They lost eye contact as she glanced away. "You…" When she looked back he was gazing at her with a mixture of uncertainty and hope. "Can we, like, go somewhere else to talk about this?" she asked quickly.

"Yeah," he answered, looking around and seeing that at least the girls Bella had been shucking corn with were watching them curiously, and probably others were too. Jacob put his hand in the small of Bella's back and led her back to her hut. Once inside, he sat down on the bed, patting the seat next to him. She took it, chewing on her lower lip nervously.

"So you talked about me?" he prompted when it became obvious she wasn't going to say anything.

Bella closed her eyes for a moment. "Yeah," she answered. "I don't know why Abi is so nice to me. She made me realize some things."

"Like what?" he asked quietly, as though he was afraid she would run away if he spoke too loudly.

"Like… that if you get married tonight… or if I marry Edward later… then I'll never know whether you and I… um… I don't know... whether we would have been… good."

Jacob reached over and took her hand, pressing his lips to the backs of her fingers one at a time. She laid her head on his chest and let him wrap his strong arms around her; they warmed and comforted her at the same time.

"Bella," he whispered into her hair. "I'm in love with you."

Her heart froze, and then skipped a beat before pounding faster. She knew it. Of course she knew it… but to hear him say it…

"I want you to give us a chance," he continued, still whispering. "But I'm afraid you can't."

She pulled back, frowning up at him. "Why?"

"You know why," he said hollowly. "Because of _him._ He's always in the way."

She opened her mouth to protest, and then closed it. "I…" She trailed off, trying to think of how to respond.

"Bella," Jacob said insistently, taking both her hands in his. "I want you to choose me. But I need to know that you're giving us a real chance. I mean, look at what I'd be giving up. All these people- I'd be disappointing this entire village, not to mention going against the plans my parents have had for me almost my entire life."

"I know," she said, looking away. She felt his hand curl around her chin and he turned her head so she would look into his eyes.

"No, Bella, you don't get it- I don't care about any of that. I'll deal with it if it means I can be with you. But I can't throw all that away if you just go back to him the first moment we get home."

Her heart was doing little flips inside her chest, but she didn't answer him right away. She tried to examine her soul, tried to see if she could do what he was asking, if all her dreams and obsessive thoughts over the last few weeks were truly leading her to this choice, now.

Finally she found her voice. "If you want me to promise that I'll be with you until I die-"

Quickly he shook his head. "No, that's not what I want," he said. "We're young, that would be crazy. What I want is the potential for that. I want us together, seeing what that looks like, without any outside interference."

She thought about it. She thought about her friends, what they would think about her dating a guy from the Rez, but she found she didn't care. She thought about Charlie, who practically treated Jacob like his own son, and she thought about her mother, who just wanted her to be happy. Lastly, she thought about herself- what did she want? When she'd been talking to Abi, she'd felt such grief, fear about losing Edward forever, but terror at the idea of looking over her shoulder for the rest of eternity, wondering how her life might have been different.

Jacob looked like he was holding his breath. She looked into his eyes, eyes that had always gazed at her with nothing but warmth and adoration, protection and love. She imagined never seeing those eyes again, never being looked at like that again, and the idea made her sick.

"I want to give us a chance," she said finally, her voice firm. "I'm not going to let anything interfere… and we'll see what happens." As soon as she'd said the words she felt a sudden rush of what felt like adrenaline, a giddy, excited feeling that she hadn't felt since she'd first been falling in love with Edward, and she knew she'd made the right choice.

Jacob didn't seem like he believed her right away, and his elation was absent for a long moment. But then his face split into that ear-to-ear grin he'd had since they were kids, and he stood up, pulling her to her feet so he could grab her around the waist and hoist her into the air, twirling her once around the room. He set her down again, blushing through his grin. "I always wanted to do that." Then his expression grew much more serious, and he cupped the side of her face with his hand, staring into her eyes. "I love you, Bella Swan," he said softly, his warm breath against her face making her shiver.

He closed the distance between their lips and held her tightly as they kissed, not needy and hurried like in the cave, but soft and tender, as though they had all their lives to give in to what their bodies wanted. Somehow this gentle kiss was more passionate than all the fiery, fervent kisses he'd given her before, and she felt her whole body melting into his lips and embrace.

A high, amused voice came from the doorway accompanied by the clearing of a throat. "Excuse me."

Bella forced herself to pull her lips back from Jacob's, but he kept his arms around her, holding her close to his body. It was Mitsis standing in the doorway, and Bella was immeasurably relieved that it wasn't Abi. Despite their conversation and her support, she was pretty sure Jacob's fiancée would draw the line at actually witnessing them making out. She sorely wished her hut had a door, though, so no one would have seen, least of all this fortune-telling girl who seemed to think everything was funny and unsurprising.

Mitsis smiled that warm, open smile she had, like she was delighted with everything and everyone. Bella had a hard time imagining her delivering such a grim prophecy as Abi had described, considering her cheery nature. "Hello again, Bella," she said with a smile. "Jacob. Bella, please come with me. Abi is requesting your presence in the welcoming hall." She used the word 'request,' but it didn't sound like one.

"What about me?" Jacob asked, his hand clasped in Bella's, obviously not wanting to be away from her for even a moment right now. He was still grinning, though he was trying to subdue it a little.

"Just Bella," Mitsis answered somewhat apologetically.

"Um… okay," Bella said, disappointed that she couldn't stay with Jacob. "What does she want me for?" she asked curiously, imagining that Abi wanted to continue their conversation; but Bella wasn't quite ready to tell her what had just happened. She didn't know if she ever would be.

"One of our warriors caught an intruder near our southern border," Mitsis explained, surprising her. "He asked for you."

"What?" Jacob asked sharply, his grin falling from his face. Bella's eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Yes," Mitsis answered patiently. "Abi seemed to recognize his name, though he has never been in these lands. Edward- he's a vampire. Do you know him?" she asked, seeming genuinely curious.

Bella's heart quickened and she swallowed hard. Beside her, Jacob's entire body stiffened in apprehension. "Yeah," she said softly. "I know him." She glanced at Jacob. "I'll… um… see you back here as soon as I can," she said, giving his hand a squeeze before releasing it. He grabbed it again.

"Bella," he said, looking at her with a mixture of confusion and hurt. "Don't."

She smiled at him, trying to reassure him that she still meant what she'd said, but she couldn't just leave Edward tied up or something, waiting for her. "I'll be back soon," she said, wishing Mitsis wasn't standing here right now so she could speak freely. "I promise."

His jaw tightened almost imperceptibly but he let her hand go. "I'm not going to beg this time," he said softly.

Bella hesitated for a moment, wanting to say more, but then she turned and left the hut, following Mitsis toward the largest structure in the village, feeling almost overwhelmingly apprehensive about what she might find inside.


	11. Chapter 11

Bella only felt her apprehension grow as she saw the large structure looming in the distance. She had been curious about this building when she'd first arrived here, since it was set apart from the others and was decorated differently, but now she felt nothing but anxiety as they approached it.

"Mitsis," she said, quickening her step to catch up to the other girl. "Is Edward… um… okay?"

"I haven't seen him," she answered off-handedly. "I imagine so."

"So you guys aren't… like… anti-vampire?"

"We are not the Quileute," she said. "Our foremothers have given us no compulsion to kill vampires. But we prefer them to stay away, because we know the death they can bring."

"Edward is different," Bella insisted. "He eats animals, not people."

"We have sheltered vampires here on three occasions," Mitsis told her. "But those were under very special circumstances. Most likely your friend will be asked to leave these lands." They arrived at the huge longhouse and Mitsis stopped. "I go no further." She motioned to the doorway. "Please."

Bella slowly stepped into the building, her hands a bit clammy with uncertainty and worry. There were occasional gaps in the roof of the building, so light filtered through to cast patterns on the floor. There were also large upright torches lit here and there near the walls, so her way was illuminated. The hall, as they called it, was aptly named- it stretched quite a distance in front of Bella, long but narrow. It was very different from the large rounded room where the Volturi sat, but she felt the same kind of nervous feeling, mixed with awe, as she entered the hall.

At the other end of the long room was a raised platform, and she could see Abi sitting there; the huge figure of the warrior Jacob had pointed out to her, Chay, stood on her right, and even though she was on a platform and he was on the floor, their heads were almost level. A woman Bella didn't recognize flanked Abi on the left, and Edward was kneeling near them, his back to Bella. She could see the figures of three other men standing around him, one of whom she knew was Veyo from his posture. The other two were unknown to her.

She quickened her step as she approached the group, all of whom were silent, obviously waiting for her. For once, Abi was dressed in a way that clearly displayed her station. Her clothes were still made from the same animal skins, but they were beaded around the shoulders and hems, and tasseled with more beads and feathers here and there. She also wore an elaborate headdress, and for the first time Bella saw paint on her body, curling around her arms and adorning her face. It made her look extremely majestic, and very much like a queen.

As she neared them she could clearly feel the tension in the room. Veyo seemed about as agitated as usual, and Chay looked about the same. The other two men with Veyo seemed more uncertain than angry, and Abi and the woman with her seemed calm but expectant. Bella stole a glance at Edward; he looked calm as well, and she was relieved that he didn't appear to be hurt in any way. He was kneeling, but he wasn't bound or tied.

"Bella," Abi greeted her with a warm smile. "Your Edward presented himself at our southern border, asking for you. It seems the woman who was threatening your life has been taken care of."

"Yeah… I know," Bella said, glancing sideways at Edward. She could see his face now, and he looked surprised.

"I thought Jacob-" he started.

"No, you don't speak here unless Iniabi says so," Veyo snapped, cutting him off and giving the back of his head a shove so he had to bow it. He looked momentarily angry, but then his cool exterior took over again and he fell silent.

"Hey," Bella said, taking a step toward Veyo. "Don't hurt him."

"He's fine," said one of Veyo's companions, rolling his eyes.

"Why have you come here?" Abi asked, addressing Edward, so this time he was allowed to respond.

"I knew Jacob was aware that Victoria had been killed," he said. "I thought he was keeping that information from Bella."

"Why?" Abi asked curiously.

"Because she didn't come back. So that's why I came- to bring her home. I don't mean you any harm."

"Bella is not a prisoner here," Abi answered. "She may leave whenever she wishes to."

"Sounds good to me," Veyo said under his breath, but Abi gave him a sharp look and he fell silent again. Bella frowned at him; apparently their momentary truce had passed.

Abi looked at Bella. "Is that what you'd like?"

Bella hesitated, her face burning a little. She could feel Edward's unflinching gaze on her, but she found she couldn't look at him. "No," she answered finally. "I'm going to go back soon, but I'm not ready yet."

"Bella-" Edward began, but again Veyo made it known he wasn't to speak unless spoken to.

She forced herself to look at him. "I'm okay," she said. "I'm fine. You didn't have to worry… I know Victoria's dead and that it's safe to come back but I'm not… I don't want to yet."

He was staring at her with such confusion and suspicion, as though he didn't believe what she was saying, but he didn't try to answer her.

Bella turned back to Abi. "Please can you just… like… let him go? He's not dangerous to you."

The woman standing on Abi's left side said something to her in their language, and then so did Chay. Abi seemed to consider their words for a long moment, and then she stood up.

"Bella," she said with a kind smile. "Now is not a good time for vampires to visit our lands. Edward must go now."

Edward stood as well and took a step toward Abi, reaching out a hand; Veyo and one of the other men immediately tackled him to the floor, holding him face down against the dirt. Bella's heart caught in her throat and she ran to them, dropping to her knees in front of Edward and crouching over him protectively. Her face was inches from Veyo's, who sneered at her before standing again, the other man doing the same. Veyo put a bare foot on Edward's back so he wouldn't be able to stand or even sit up anymore.

"He won't be hurt," Abi's voice said gently from behind Bella. After an exchange of eye contact that Bella didn't see, Veyo moved his foot and Edward was allowed to sit up again, kneeling on the dirt floor of the hall. He looked angry, and Bella felt a pang of guilt. Even if it wasn't fair for him to expect Jacob to keep things from her, he had still come here out of concern for her, risking his life and submitting to these people without knowing what they might do to him. She knew he only wanted what was best for her.

Bella turned back to Abi. "If he promises to go, can he stay for a little while? I just want to talk to him."

Again Abi's advisors spoke to her, and she spoke back, while Bella and Edward waited, not understanding their words. But out of the corner of her eye Bella saw Veyo's fists clench in anger, so she knew before Abi said it that permission had been granted.

Finally, Edward was allowed to stand. Abi said, "You may stay in our lands until the sun touches the mountaintops. After that time you will be escorted out. You must not attempt to harm anyone, or you will be put to death. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Edward answered smoothly. "I understand."

"Iniabi has made her decision," the woman advisor spoke up. "We are finished." Veyo and the other two young warriors turned and stalked from the hall, muttering to each other in their language, accompanied by angry, jerking hand gestures. Without further words, Abi and her advisors exited to a chamber set behind the platform, leaving Bella and Edward alone together.

Edward turned to Bella and smiled at her, but it was tense. "I didn't think Jacob had told you about Victoria."

"He did," she answered, crossing her arms over her chest. Her heart thudded from the tension.

Edward seemed confused. "Is everything alright?"

She hesitated, finally really looking at him. His gorgeous eyes, the pale beauty of his skin, the way he held himself… the way he looked at her. "I-" she broke off, not sure what to say. She went to Abi's platform and sat down on the edge of it, beckoning for him to do the same. After a split-second of hesitation, he did.

"What is it, Bella? Is everything okay?" He dropped his voice, glancing around as though they might be being watched. "Is someone stopping you from coming home?"

"No," she answered quickly, shaking her head. "It's not that. I want to stay here."

He smiled at her indulgently, as though she was being silly, and glanced around the room. "Here?" he answered doubtfully. "But why? It's so… quaint."

She found herself seeing it through his eyes: the wood and mud houses, the simple dress, the ideals of living off the land, pretending the modern world didn't exist. But there was a charm about this place that she'd come to really like since she'd arrived.

"Jacob was supposed to marry that girl, Iniabi. The one who was giving the orders," she said, changing the subject.

"Well, that's nice for him," Edward said off-handedly. "But Charlie's figured out you're not on a fishing trip and he's pretty mad. I think he'd have organized a manhunt by now except Billy's convinced him not to. Bella. You should come home." He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, as though there needed to be no further discussion on the matter.

She pulled her hand back, surprising him. "No," she said. "I want to stay here."

"Please don't be stubborn right now," he said evenly, a hint of exasperation entering his voice.

"I don't- I'm not… being stubborn," she insisted. She pulled him back to the platform, swallowing hard past the lump that had formed suddenly in her throat. She tried to organize the words in her mind.

"Is this about my proposal?" he asked apprehensively. "If you need time, Bella, I can give you that. You're the one who's being so impatient."

His words stung her. "No, it isn't that."

"Then what?"

She opened her mouth, and then closed it again. She didn't know how to tell him what she knew she had to; it was like her mouth didn't want to say the words.

"Bella," he said quietly. "I read that girl's mind. She seemed to think there was something going on between you and Jacob."

It was a relief that he said it first. But she still found it difficult even to nod; finally, she forced herself to, just a tiny one. Edward stood up and walked away from her, and for a moment she thought he was just going to leave and go home and that would be it. But he turned back and returned to the platform, sitting next to her and taking her hand in both of his. They were like ice, and she felt suddenly very cold as they drained the warmth from her own hand.

"Bella, Jacob is a werewolf," he said, sounding pained but also like he was trying very hard to be patient with her. It made her feel small and stupid, like a child needing a lesson. "Werewolves aren't… reliable."

"Jacob is," she protested.

"He could hurt you."

"I know that. So could you."

He let out a frustrated breath, and then his voice softened. "Bella. I love you. Don't you want to be with me?"

She felt compelled to say yes immediately, and she had just enough sense to wonder how much Jacob's theory of Edward's spell-casting abilities was correct. She remembered Edward telling her that day in the forest early on that everything about him was designed to draw in prey- was that what she was? Her love for him was real… wasn't it? She shook away the doubts. She knew it was real. She had just come to realize it wasn't everything.

"I do love you," she said honestly. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

She hesitated, and found she had to close her eyes to find the words to answer him, because the more she looked at him the harder it was to think. "I just… I've come to realize… Jacob is…" She trailed off, frustrated, but tried again. "Jacob loves me."

Edward said nothing.

"He loves me," Bella went on. "And I love him, too. He was an amazing friend to me while you were gone. He- he made things… make sense again. I feel safe when I'm with him, and I have… feelings. For him." She finally opened her eyes and looked at Edward, whose face made it seem like he'd just swallowed some kind of disgusting food but he was too polite to spit it out. "It doesn't mean I don't love you," she finished.

"But you're choosing him," Edward said flatly, as though he couldn't believe it.

"No," Bella answered, and he looked at her hopefully. "I'm giving him a chance."

"A chance," he repeated, the hope fading.

"You've been trying to tell me since we've met that you love me exactly how I am," she said softly. "That it didn't matter to you if I was older than you. Well, if that's true then it shouldn't matter if I give Jacob a chance… if it doesn't work out, then you'll still be around and we can be together again. Jacob is immortal and so are you. I'm not. I'm the one with the time constraints."

He smiled a little, but it faded almost immediately. "Bella, he's not good for you," he said quietly.

"Why? Why do you think that? Because he's a werewolf?" Edward gave the most imperceptible nod, and she went on, "But that's not fair. You're a vampire… you of all people should understand what it's like to be… different."

He let out a huff of air. "Vampires and werewolves are not the same thing, Bella. You shouldn't try to compare them so easily."

"I'm not saying that werewolves are perfect. But it would be pretty hypocritical of me to reject him because he's the wrong kind of monster," she said, borrowing Jacob's words to bolster her argument.

"This is a big change," Edward said quietly. "Are you sure you're going to feel this way once you're home?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, chewing on the bottom of her lip nervously. Edward gazed at her, and she couldn't help but fall into those gorgeous golden eyes.

"Jacob was good to you, when I wasn't there," he said. "He took care of you when I didn't. But I'm here now and I want to take care of you again. This is all just… surprising. It's so sudden. Are you sure it's not because I proposed and you're not ready for marriage? Just a few days ago you were begging me to make you a vampire so we could be together forever… and now this?"

Bella felt his argument wearing her down, but she fought against it. "I… I…" She tried and failed to begin a sentence, and finally had to tear her eyes away from his. Quickly she blurted, "I don't want to die."

"And I don't want you to either," he countered. "That's what I've been saying all along, Bella."

"I know," she answered, nodding. "But… I don't… I feel so… inadequate when I'm with you like this. You're so perfect, and you're going to look like that forever, and I'm just going to get older and older."

"I don't care about that."

"But I do," she protested. "I care. But when I'm with Jacob… I don't. Because he's alive. He's… warm. And I don't feel so bad for being alive too."

He said nothing for a long time. "I'm not going to force you to be with me," he said finally. "But Bella, I'm not going to stop watching over you."

"I know," she answered. "I don't want you to."

They both sat there for several moments, saying nothing. Bella felt the tension between them in the air and felt a pang of guilt for springing all of this on him, and when he'd come all this way just to protect her.

"So how long will you stay?" Edward asked finally.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I guess… another day. Maybe two."

"Do you want me to go now?" he asked, forcing a smile even though she could tell he didn't feel it.

"No, you can stay for a bit… till Abi said- the sun on the mountains or whatever. Um... unless you want to go."

"No," he said quickly. "No, I'd like to stay… I'd like to see what you find so charming about this place… these people." He smiled more smoothly this time, looking just the tiniest bit amused. "Their minds are… interesting."

"Okay," Bella answered, tucking her hair behind her ears and nodding a little. "Perfect. So, do you want to see where I've been staying?"

"Sure," he answered, following her out of the hall and back toward her hut. Bella couldn't ignore all the stares directed at them as they walked through the village, but it didn't seem to bother Edward, even when one or two mothers snatched their children and retreated into the tree line. Bella watched them go, her heart sinking a little at their reactions, but she couldn't really blame them.

Distracted, her foot caught on an exposed tree root and she felt herself flopping forward as she lost balance. Edward's arm snapped out and he caught her around the middle, pulling her back upright into his chest. She leaned on him, feeling a throbbing pain in her ankle where she'd twisted it.

"Ow," she said. "Thanks."

"I'll always catch you if it's in my power to do so, Bella," Edward answered softly, reaching a hand up and stroking the side of her face. Bella was suddenly aware of how close they were standing, and she blushed a little. Even if his heart didn't beat and he didn't have to breathe, there was still something about the presence of his body that soothed her. She smiled at him as his golden eyes bored into her own, and the world faded away like it always did when she was with him, like nothing else mattered; like time was standing still for them.

Bella forced herself to break their eye contact, and took a step out of his embrace, testing her weight gingerly on the ankle. It seemed to hold without much pain; not broken, not even sprained. Edward took her hand and she accepted the help without even thinking, leaning on him just a little as she started toward her hut again. But she took only one step before she found herself stopping short again.

Jacob stood there, just outside the door, looking wounded and angry. She realized that he had seen the whole thing- her fall, Edward catching her, the way she'd leaned into him, his arms around her, the way he'd touched her cheek and held her eyes. Jacob just stood there for a long moment, saying nothing to them, his eyes flicking from Bella to Edward and back to Bella again.

"Jake-"

"Don't," he interrupted her firmly. His voice broke a little. "Please."

Bella approached him quickly as he started to turn away and she grabbed his arm. "Wait, Jake. It's not what you think. I fell and-"

"That's not the point, Bella," he cut her off again. "He's in the way. Again. I can't be constantly competing with him. This is exactly what I was talking about before."

Edward stepped up to join them. "Jacob," he said smoothly. "You don't need to compete with me. If Bella wants to give you a trial run, I'm not going to stand in her way. I'm a patient man… I'll be around."

Jacob's jaw tightened and he stepped toward Edward, jabbing a finger into his chest. "No, see we don't need your permission. And we don't want you around." Edward's eyes looked at Bella in confusion, and then so did Jacob's. He looked at Bella, hurt, as she averted her eyes in discomfort. The clearing was mostly empty, but the last few stragglers now crept from the area, considerately giving them time alone for this very public argument. Her face flushed, wishing Edward hadn't paraphrased her words in quite that way. But realization flashed across Jacob's face that Edward wasn't just making it up, and he glanced away from her. "Oh," he said quietly. "I get it."

She closed her eyes for a moment. "No, Jake, you don't. I-"

"No, it's fine," he snapped. "I didn't realize that's what this was. I thought you were giving us a real chance, Bella. Not holding your boyfriend in reserve while you had a little fling with your best friend." His words were full of anguish, but there was anger there too. He was breathing hard, his fists clenching and unclenching.

"Jake, I didn't mean it like that… I _do_ want to give us a chance," she said softly, reaching out and touching his hair. He jerked his head away from her. "Jake, please!" she cried.

He turned his eyes on her and there was such hurt in them, such betrayal, it took everything for her not to look away. "Bella," he said in a grating voice. "Don't, okay? Don't pretend."

Anger welled up in her. "I'm not pretending! God… please, you're just overreacting!"

"Oh, I'm overreacting?" he growled, taking a step toward her. She caught sight of the little ripples under his skin.

"Bella, step back," Edward said, coming up behind her to grab her shoulders and pulling her back toward him.

Jacob was seething now, and he looked terribly imposing, but he closed his eyes, obviously trying desperately to steady his breathing. Bella tried to pull away from Edward but he held her tightly.

"It's okay," Bella insisted, trying to wrench herself from his grasp, but Edward's grip was incredibly strong when he wanted it to be.

Edward put his lips to her ear and said, "He wants to hurt you. I can hear him thinking it."

Bella shook her head, not believing it, and she looked at Jacob, who had obviously heard what Edward had said.

"Liar!" he roared, shaking with anger, glaring daggers at Edward. Jacob stalked toward them, closing the distance between them, and Edward threw Bella to the side, where she hit the ground hard. She looked up just in time to see the reddish-brown form of a huge wolf explode from Jacob's body and loom, growling and snapping, over Edward.

"No!" Bella screamed, scrambling to her feet and running back over to the two boys, grabbing Jacob's massive paw just as he raised it to pin Edward to the ground. He whirled on her, the paw slamming into her chest and throwing her backward with such force that she hit a tree all the way across the clearing, the breath knocked completely out of her. She coughed as she sank to the ground, not sure which was worse, the feeling of choking or the throbbing pain in her head and chest.

No one moved for a long moment, and Bella struggled to stand back up to help Edward again, but Jacob had already backed off. He took a step toward her, and she could see the pain and shock in his very human eyes. Edward stood and was at her side in an instant, cradling her in his arms. She watched Jacob hesitate uncertainly, and then Edward held a hand up as though to block her from him.

"I'm not going to let you hurt her again," Edward said angrily.

Jacob stood there, his eyes narrowing at Edward, and then he looked back to Bella with such horror and guilt that she could almost feel his heart breaking. He took another step toward her, but Edward stood up quickly, placing himself between her and Jacob. Bella coughed, trying to find her voice, but even breathing hurt right now.

"Haven't you done enough?" he yelled. "Leave her alone! She could have died."

Jacob let out a little growl, but it turned into a whimper almost immediately. He hesitated again, shifting his weight between his front paws as he tried to decide whether to continue to try to approach her, but finally he gave Bella one last anguished look before turning and bounding off into the forest. Edward watched him go, and when he was satisfied he was really gone he turned quickly back to Bella, dropping to his knees beside her.

"Bella? Can you breathe? Are you okay? Say something!" he demanded, his voice full of fear.

She coughed and sputtered for another moment and finally was able to draw an unfettered breath. She choked out, "Jake."

"He's gone," Edward said quickly. "Don't worry, you're safe." She started to shake her head, but it made her feel incredibly dizzy. He smoothed the hair away from her face, and then slowly pulled his hand back, looking at it. Bella could see that it was red with blood.

The last thing she remembered before she passed out was Edward yelling for help and, far off in the distance, the lonely howl of a wolf.


	12. Chapter 12

_ Bella stood in the quiet of a small clearing in the woods; the distant sound of birdsong was the only thing that broke the silence of the forest. She felt calm, almost expectant, but she wasn't sure what she was waiting for. She felt happy, peaceful almost, like nothing that might happen should matter. She could feel a dull pain in her head, chest, and back, but it seemed almost like a distant memory of a different pain, and she couldn't quite remember why she felt it at all. The edges of the trees around her looked blurred, almost like she needed glasses, and she didn't quite feel connected to the world. She was standing, but she couldn't feel her legs._

_A sudden breeze whipped through the trees, rustling the leaves and blowing Bella's hair around her face. It was cool and fresh, and she inhaled it happily, thinking it would die down soon. But the breeze only got stronger, and it started to give her an ominous feeling. Soon, it was blowing so hard she couldn't stand, and she fell to her knees. As though she'd crossed a horizontal plane between worlds, as she hit the ground the pain she was feeling suddenly intensified. She groaned, gasping from the sudden agony._

"_Get up!" a voice rang out. Bella raised her head with some difficulty; a figure stood amongst the trees, but whenever she tried to see the person's face, the foliage covered it. No matter what angle she looked from, she couldn't make out the man's face. "Get up!" the voice said again; there was something vaguely familiar about it. Bella stood with some difficulty and approached the man, but still she couldn't identify him._

_She was almost near enough to touch him now, and she reached up to pull the branches away. Just before she finally revealed his face, the figure raised his hand, palm toward her. Without touching her, and seemingly just with the force of his will, he sent her reeling backward so fast she slammed into a tree on the other side of the clearing. She hit the ground, hard._

"_Get up!" the voice said again, now right above her._

She tried to force her eyes open, but she couldn't. She felt her pain intensifying as she slowly regained consciousness, and she used it as a foothold to clamour back to awareness, but it was hard.

"I said get up and get moving. _Now."_ The voice again. Who was it?

"And I said I'm not leaving her." Edward. She realized that her dream had been shaped by a real situation, and she redoubled her efforts to see what was going on.

"Yeah it's real funny that you think you can refuse," another voice, again somewhat familiar, but her mind fumbled over the specifics. "Now stand up. We could kill you where you sit."

"She needs to see a doctor. My father-"

"Up. _Now._ Or I swear I'm going to-"

Bella groaned, and her eyes finally fluttered open. She narrowed them against a sudden onslaught of light, and it took her a long moment to focus on what she was seeing. Three faces hovered above her- one was Edward, one was Veyo, and one was Nako, who she hadn't seen since she and Jacob had first arrived in the village. He'd lost his goofy grin and looked as deadly serious as the other two.

They were all looking down at her and she felt she had to say something, so she said the first thing that came into her mind, "Ow."

"It's okay, Bella," Edward said smoothly. "Just tell them to let us go home so Carlisle can help you."

"_You_ are not going anywhere," Veyo ground out.

"Hang on," Bella managed, trying to push herself into a sitting position.

Edward put a hand on her shoulder, keeping her down. "Careful," he said. "I don't know how bad that head injury is."

"It's okay," she insisted, struggling to resume sitting up. He hesitated, but released her. She found her headache waiting for her a couple of feet above the ground, and she breathed deeply, gasping a little as she fought to stay conscious.

Veyo slipped his arm around the back of her shoulders and helped steady her. He took her chin in his hand and looked into her eyes. "Your pupils are dancing," he told her. "But you'll be alright."

"Are you a doctor?" Edward asked, seething.

"I'm a guy who's seen his share of wounds," Veyo snapped. "Not that I need to explain myself to you."

"Wait," Bella spoke up. "It's okay. Don't be mean. Please, he was just trying to protect me."

"Yeah right," Veyo snorted sarcastically. "I watched him _protect you_ all the way to this tree."

"That was Jacob," Edward bit out.

"Yeah, and I saw how you incited him," Veyo answered levelly. He turned his attention back to Bella and asked her, "Can you walk?"

She shook her head and the world went a bit wobbly for a second, so she squeezed her eyes shut, opening them again when the pounding in her head had died down to a dull roar again. Veyo slipped his other arm under her knees and very gently raised himself to a sitting position, cradling her against his chest. Edward and Nako stood as well.

"Where are you taking her?" Edward demanded.

"Relax, vampire boy," Nako answered, speaking for the first time since Bella had regained consciousness. "We're taking her to the medicine house."

"Oh great," Edward answered sarcastically. Bella could tell he was extremely frustrated, but she also knew the strength that Veyo and Nako carried in wolf form, and how badly they could hurt him.

"Edward, it's okay," she said. "I already feel better. Really. I don't think I'm that hurt."

"Bella," he said urgently, ignoring Veyo's glare as he took her hand. "You need a doctor." But she disagreed, remembering when she'd wiped out on one of the motorcycles Jake had built and everything had been fine once the bleeding stopped. No problem.

"Look, if they say it's serious, I'll think about it, okay?" she said. She slipped an arm around Veyo's neck and said shyly, "Thanks."

Veyo said nothing, and neither did Edward, though he opened his mouth like he was going to. But before he could utter a word Veyo had wheeled around and was walking away. Bella saw over his shoulder that Nako was indicating that Edward should follow, and for the first time she realized that both young men were armed, not only with bows and arrows but also with a kind of a club hanging from their waists. They looked like huge tree boughs, each with a rock pounded into one end of them and tied off. They looked deadly.

"Veyo, you're not going to hurt him, are you?" she asked quickly.

"Not if he doesn't step out of line," he answered curtly.

"He was trying to protect me," Bella protested.

Veyo glanced down at her and frowned. "From Jacob?" he asked. "Is that something you need?"

It did seem a bit crazy. "Um… well no, but-"

"It looked to me," Veyo interrupted, "like he was trying to start a fight and make Jacob into a bad guy."

"Oh my God, Jacob," Bella said, suddenly remember the rest of what had happened. "He took off into the woods. You have to find him."

"He can take care of himself," Veyo answered off-handedly.

"I know but he's… upset. I have to talk to him."

"He'll come back if and when he's ready, Bella," he said firmly.

"Yeah, but… it's the 'if' part I'm worried about," she mumbled.

They came to a fork in the road and Veyo veered left; after a moment Bella heard a struggle and noticed that Nako was forcing Edward to the right.

"Where is he taking him?" she demanded.

"He's under arrest," Veyo answered.

"Don't hurt him. Please."

His voice was a bit gentler this time. "We're not savages, Bella."

A moment later she noticed they were passing through the threshold of a house, and Veyo was laying her down gently on a narrow wooden platform draped in animal skins. The room carried a strange smell, and it made her feel a bit woozy.

"Am I still bleeding?" she asked, reaching back to touch the back of her head gingerly for the first time since she'd hit the tree. Veyo shook his head, and sure enough she felt nothing but dried blood in her hair. "Am I really going to be okay?"

"You're fine," he assured her.

He started to unbutton her shirt and she raised her hand, grabbing his arm to stop him. "Hey-"

"Relax," he said, giving her a strange look. "I just want to see how badly Jacob hit you." After a moment's hesitation she nodded, and he undid half of the buttons on her shirt before parting the two sides to reveal the large, angry bruise already blooming just above her right breast. As he pulled the shirt back further she could see that it crept towards her right shoulder as well. He laid his fingertips on it gently and pushed, making her hiss in a breath. "Does that hurt?"

"A little," she admitted. He nodded and pushed in a different place and she said, "Not as much." Curiously she asked, _"Are_ you a doctor?"

"No," he answered with a small smile.

"What then, like… a medicine man?"

His eyes darkened for a moment, but he obviously made an effort to force back his initial reaction. "Yeah," he said stiffly. "More or less."

"Sorry," she said, closing her eyes for a moment, her face flushing with embarrassment. "I always say the wrong thing to you."

She saw a small smile playing about his lips before he closed her shirt and buttoned it back up. He took hold of her hands and pulled her slowly to a sitting position, indicating that she should wrap her arms around her knees. She obeyed, curling her spine and laying her chin against her folded arms.

Veyo picked up a small object made of wood from a bench nearby. It looked a lot like a fluted champagne glass, narrow at one end and wider at the other. Both sides had a hole, so you could see right through it. He walked around behind her and she felt the wider end being pressed against her back, and then she felt him lean into her.

She realized he had placed his ear against it when he said, "Take a deep breath, hold it, and release it." Bella did as he instructed, as he moved the object to various parts of her back, listening each time. She felt him lift her shirt to examine her back, and then finally he set the object down again and told her, "You don't have any internal damage. Just some nasty bruises."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "Great."

She felt his hands threading through her hair, separating it around the area where she'd taken the brunt of her collision with the tree. She felt his fingers touching and applying pressure here and there, and there was a stinging sensation accompanying his movements as he touched the tender wound, but overall it didn't hurt much. Finally he let her hair fall back into place, and went back to the bench again, gathering a few things.

"There's no permanent damage," he said, mixing together a few different wet and dry ingredients into a stone mortar and grinding it into a fine powder as he spoke. "Your skull is whole. If you want to go back to Forks and see a doctor, that's fine. But in the meantime, this'll make you feel better." He picked up a wooden cup and opened the lid of a large cistern, scooping up some liquid. She could tell from the smell that it was the same sweet cold tea that she'd had on their first day here, at the feast. Veyo poured the powder into the cup and handed it to her. "It won't taste wonderful," he warned. "But drink it all."

It tasted sweet and cool as it went down, but it had a terrible aftertaste, as bitter and sour a drink as Bella had ever had before. But she forced herself to finish it, wiping her face afterward and forcing herself to resist the urge to gag and stick her tongue out. Veyo smirked at her, dipping the cup back into the cistern and offering her another drink, this time without the medicine, as he again started combining various ingredients in the mortar. This time he worked it into a thick paste as she gulped down the sweet tea thankfully.

"What is that?" she asked, eyeing the concoction he was making and wondering how on earth she was going to swallow something that had the consistency of wet play-dough.

"It's a poultice for your head," he explained, relieving her of her worries. "It'll stop the stinging and speed healing."

"So… were you following us, or what?" she asked as he walked around behind her and started spreading the stuff onto her head. It stung like crazy as he applied it, but once it was on she was surprised how soothing it felt. Veyo set the mortar and pestle down and came around to her front again, leaning against the bench next to her.

"Yeah," he answered with a nod. "I was following you. I wanted to make sure he didn't go anywhere that outsiders aren't allowed."

"I didn't know there was anywhere we couldn't go," she admitted.

"Your brand of outsider and his are very different," he pointed out.

"Is Jacob in trouble?" she asked hesitantly.

"No. He's one of us. And I still don't think it was his fault."

She let out a sigh. "I've made such a mess of things."

"You sure have," Veyo agreed.

"Thanks for the sugarcoat," she said dryly.

"I'm not your friend, Bella," he told her, not unkindly but definitely bluntly. "And I'm only Jacob's friend to a point."

"So what do _you_ want to have come out of all this?" Bella couldn't help but ask, frustration entering her voice.

Veyo didn't answer her for a moment. "What Abi wants is good for me," he said finally.

"And she wants Jacob," Bella said.

"Yes," he answered quietly. "So it would seem. Though I have to admit, I was pretty sure that wasn't going to end up happening… I thought you and Jacob were walking a different path and he was going to refuse to marry her."

She was surprised that he sounded almost hopeful describing that scenario. "You don't want him to stay?"

"I want Abi to be happy," he said flatly.

"That's not what I asked."

Veyo sighed. "I want him to stay if it's right for our people."

"You're all so selfless," she couldn't help pointing out.

"Because we know these issues are bigger than we are," he answered with a shrug. "Community is always more important than the individual for us."

"Yeah," she said with a nod. "I can see that." She felt much better now so she slipped off the bed, but the dizziness came back full-force as she moved and she pitched forward, losing her balance.

Veyo caught her effortlessly with one arm and set her back up on the platform. "Not yet," he said, pushing her head down so the blood rushed to her brain. It hurt terribly, but it kept her conscious. He helped her lay down, covering her with a thick, soft bearskin to keep her warm. Then he started cleaning up his work area, ignoring her.

She tried to respect his attitude that the conversation was over, but she couldn't help speaking again. "Where did Nako take Edward?"

"Not too far," he answered after a moment. "Somewhere secure until Abi and Chay can deal with him."

"Is Chay, like, her second-in-command or something?"

"He's our strongest fighter and he leads the warriors," Veyo said with a shake of his head. "He's one of her most respected advisors, but everything is ultimately up to her."

Bella felt relief at that statement, since by now she knew that if Abi was one thing, it was tolerant and kind. She could see why she was such a popular leader here. "Can I see him?" she asked.

"I thought you were worried about Jacob."

"I am… I'm worried about both of them."

"Well, no. You can't see him until he's been dealt with. Once his punishment is set, then no problem."

"Are you going to go look for Jacob?"

"He'll be fine," Veyo answered, brushing his hands as he finished tidying the workbench. He turned back to her, crossing his arms over his chest. "He might even be on his way home by now," he pointed out.

"I know," Bella said quietly, not liking to think of that. "But I don't think so… he felt really strongly about his duty to stay here… it wasn't until…"

She trailed off, but Veyo finished for her, "Until he thought he had a chance at you, he was going to stay. Yeah, I noticed." His words were hostile.

"I thought you didn't care?"

He gritted his teeth. "I told you what I care about and what I don't."

"Yeah, Abi and your people and not much else," Bella muttered.

"I took care of you, didn't I?" Veyo snapped.

"But you don't care about me," Bella protested with a little laugh.

"I care about the role you have to play here," he corrected her. "I care that you're a piece of our puzzle right now, even if I don't like it much."

"Well, I must be a pretty unimportant piece," she said dryly. "I can't even figure out what I want."

Veyo shrugged as though it didn't matter much. "You'll have to make some kind of decision soon, because you certainly can't stay here much longer. Whatever decision you make, or is made for you, however small or large, will fulfill your role for us. And you and I will never have to see each other again," he added. He headed for the door. "If you want to recover faster, you'll stay put for at least an hour. I'll come check on you later. Try not to fall off the bed."

"Sure, great!" she called after him irritably as he left here there. She crossed her arms over her chest, staring angrily up at the ceiling of the hut. She could hear that the villagers had resumed their normal activities since vacating the area earlier, and she could smell meat sizzling on fires and other food being prepared. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn't eaten in quite some time.

She really did try to obey Veyo's orders, but perhaps only twenty minutes passed before she couldn't stand it anymore. Jacob was wandering the woods somewhere, devastated, maybe thinking she was dead and that he'd killed her. And Edward was locked up somewhere, awaiting a trial or who knows how they did things here; maybe he'd get no trial at all. She'd made such a mess of things, as usual.

Slowly, gingerly, Bella raised her torso upward until she was sitting. She took deep breaths against the dizziness that was pulling on the corners of her consciousness, and managed to successfully fight it off. Then she put one leg over the side of the platform, then the other. She dangled them there for a moment, and then she slowly slipped off the bed so her feet were on the dirt floor of the medicine house. So far, so good- she was conscious, and her head merely pounded, rather than suffering from the lancing pain she'd felt earlier. Slow movements seemed to be key here. It took her maybe five minutes to walk to the door of the medicine house, which was ridiculous considering how small the building was, but she considered it a success when she reached the doorway without passing out.

She stood there for a moment, trying to decide what her plan was here. She could head off into the woods in search of Jacob, but there could be hundreds of miles of forest surrounding this area for all she knew. In fact, considering the isolation these people were able to maintain in the modern world, there probably were all those trees and more surrounding this place. So, her other option would be to go to Edward. Veyo had said she could visit after Abi had decided what to do with him, but what if it was too late by then? She didn't want to disrespect their laws, but she couldn't help but want to. At the same time, she had no idea where he was and she doubted anyone would tell her if she asked. So Bella just stood there, watching the nearby trees swaying in a light breeze, as she considered which option was the worst.

Before she could make any kind of decision, she saw Veyo round the corner of a nearby building and start striding towards the medicine house. Quickly Bella turned, and started making her way as fast as she dared back towards the bed, stars appearing in the corners of her vision. She heard Veyo enter the hut before she was even halfway back to the platform, and he let out a huff of irritation before he came up behind her, scooping her up and depositing her flat on her back on the bed. He threw the bearskin back over her.

"Do I need to send an armed guard to make sure you don't move?"

"No," she answered, crossing her arms over her chest. "I can't just lay here. I need to make sure that the people I love are okay."

"They're fine, Bella," Veyo said impatiently. "Edward is in a safe place. And Jacob is a big boy- if he needs time to cool off or figure stuff out, you should give it to him." He started mixing some ingredients together in his mortar, obviously trying to make a point of ignoring her.

"But he might think I'm dead," she insisted. "What if he's out there all alone, thinking he killed me?" Her eyes filled with tears of frustration at not being able to do anything about it, and the idea of Jacob hurting because of her made her feel sick.

Veyo hesitated, glancing at her. "Well, I'm not sending a search party out after him when we have no idea where he's gone," he said, his voice gentler and less impatient now. "It's not like his mind is linked to ours yet. I can't just ask him where he is," he pointed out reasonably.

An idea dawned on Bella and she brightened, starting to sit up quickly. Veyo put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back down, not even looking at her; at first she was annoyed but then the dizziness slammed back into her and she realized he'd intervened the exact moment before she would have passed out. She blushed.

"I asked for an hour," Veyo said. "Don't make me say two."

"Okay, fine," she muttered. "But I know how to find Jacob." He ignored her but she went on, "The mind link or whatever. The telepathy." She felt silly for using that word but that was what she'd understood it to be from what Embry had told her. "If I can get hold of one of the others in Jacob's pack, they'd know where he is, right?" She saw Veyo hesitate and this bolstered her argument. "Let's do it."

"They wouldn't necessarily know where he is," he said. "They could talk to him and see a little bit of the area he was in, but trees look very similar, Bella, and they don't know these lands. Unless he told them, they probably couldn't help you."

She was momentarily disappointed, but then she said cautiously, "But they could tell him I was okay, right? They could tell him he didn't kill me."

Veyo nodded. "Yeah, they could do that."

"So that's it," she said. "I have to go back and get them to tell him." She started to sit up but thought better of it, knowing he'd just push her down again. Veyo looked like he was trying to decide whether to say something or not. "What?" she demanded, surprised that he wasn't jumping at the chance to send her home.

"We do… have a phone," he said hesitantly.

She was so astonished she didn't say anything for a moment. Then she smiled. "Okay… that's great. I don't know any of their numbers… but I could call Billy and convince him-"

"Bella," he interrupted. "Let's just wait for Abi and see what she says."

"I don't see why she'd have a problem with me calling home for a second," Bella said with a frown. "I can pay for the long distance charges."

Veyo smirked. "It's not that. Your idea is a good one. But the logistics of it are a lot more complicated than you realize- for us."

"Well, I don't care how complicated they are," she said stubbornly. "I need to let him know I'm alright."

Veyo rolled his eyes, letting out a breath of frustration. "Then go home, Bella," he said. "And tell them in person to deliver your message."

"But…" she trailed off, biting her lip.

"Exactly," he said. "So just wait a little while longer." He shook his head. "You are one of the most impatient people I've ever met."

Bella let out a huff. "Where's Abi now?" she asked.

"She's dealing with your vampire friend," Veyo told her, and her heart lurched in fear, even though she was pretty sure that Abi would be fair.

"And then I can see him?" she pressed.

"Yeah," he answered with a curt nod. "Then you can see him." He pointed a finger at her. "But if I come back here and you are anywhere but flat on your back, don't think I won't tie you to this bed." He smirked at her and tucked the corners of the bearskin under her shoulders for good measure before heading for the door.

"Fine," she said grumpily, crossing her arms over her chest. Veyo left her, and she was forced to just lie there, bored and frustrated, worrying about what might be happening to Edward, and what Jacob might be feeling.


	13. Chapter 13

Finally, Veyo deemed her healthy enough to get up and walk around again; she had to admit that the time in bed had all but eliminated her dizziness, so she no longer had to walk slowly everywhere or risk having her head explode in pain.

"Abi's ready to see you," Veyo said, leading her out of the medicine hut and back in the direction of the hall where they'd had Edward before. Again she felt the apprehension as they approached it, but unlike Mitsis, who had waited outside, Veyo accompanied her through the door and into the room. Despite his general hostility towards her, she was glad for his company.

Up ahead, she saw the now familiar platform, Abi sitting on what Bella supposed was basically her throne, though the simple seat was more practical than royal. Again she was flanked by her two advisors, Chay and the unknown woman, but this time there was no sign of Edward, and there were no other warriors in the room besides Veyo. Bella hurried towards Abi, halting just in front of the platform.

Abi's smile was just as kind as ever, but it was a bit more strained. Bella could see tension in the expressions of Chay and the female advisor.

"Veyo has told me what happened," Abi said.

"Oh," Bella answered. "Um… okay. Is Edward alright?"

"He is," Abi replied.

"What are you going to do?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"I told him previously that he could stay until the sun touched the mountaintops, but that if he attempted to harm anyone, he would be put to death," she said.

"Wait, please-" Bella started, but Veyo reached out and grabbed her shoulder, squeezing it hard, giving her a clear order to be quiet. With great difficulty, she did.

"As Veyo witnessed, Edward did not harm anyone," Abi said gently. "So he will not be harmed by us either."

Bella breathed a sigh of relief, but she was smart enough not to say anything in reply.

"Please bring him in," Abi said to Veyo, indicating the doorway behind her platform with the tilt of her chin.

Veyo nodded and left the room, coming back with Edward a moment later. Bella tried to assess him as he was escorted past her; he looked unharmed, as Abi had promised, but he also looked angry, his jaw set tightly. It softened into relief as he saw that she was okay. Veyo brought him close to Bella and pushed down on his shoulder, forcing him to his knees in front of the platform. Bella bit her lip, wishing Veyo didn't have to be so rough, but she knew better than to protest.

"Edward," Abi said, standing up. As before, she was dressed in her full regalia, and Bella couldn't help but be a little intimidated, even though this was the same girl she'd seen giggling, not to mention cavorting with children, earlier today. Abi went on, "You were permitted to stay because your friend pledge for you, and your friend is a friend of our people." Bella smiled a little, touched that Abi felt that way. "But our trust in you has now been violated, so you must leave this place immediately. Do you have anything to say?"

"Yes," Edward answered, his voice as smooth as ever. "I don't mind going… in fact I want to. But please let me take Bella with me."

Bella's eyes flew to him when she heard that, but his own eyes were fixed on Abi, who frowned down at him.

"Bella," she said. "Do you wish to go with him?"

She felt a bit put on the spot, and she found it so hard to go against what Edward wanted, because she knew he was just trying to protect her. But she bit her lip, thinking of Jacob out there alone in the woods, and she shook her head, saying, "No… I need to stay here." She looked at Edward, whose expression was a mixture of irritation and confusion. "Just a little longer," she added, trying to soften it for him.

Abi looked back to Edward. "All that must be said has been said," she told him. "Go in peace, and do not bring retribution upon yourself by betraying anything you have seen here. I know you have a treaty that protects you from the Quileute. But we are not them, and you would be wise to remember it. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Edward answered. He opened his mouth again to say more, but Veyo pushed his head down, stopping him. Still he gritted his teeth and called out, "I don't believe she's safe here!"

"So you may not," Abi answered after a moment, not unkindly. "I won't disparage your beliefs. But Bella has chosen to stay. You are not asking for sanctuary here, nor are you a friend to our people. You are a stranger in these lands, welcomed under a brief verbal treaty that has now been broken. You do not have a choice on whether you stay or go. Bella does, and she has made it. Now leave us. My warriors will escort you from ours lands, and should you penetrate our border again, you _will_ be put to death."

Her words hung in the air for a long, silent moment, a strong declaration that even Edward couldn't challenge. But even if he was planning to, Veyo pulled him from the room before he could say another word. Bella looked up at Abi questioningly.

"Go and say goodbye to your friend, child," Abi said gently, smiling down at her. "He cares about you very much." Bella nodded, turning to follow Veyo outside, but Abi stopped her by quickly calling out, "Bella?"

She hesitated, turning back to face the other girl once more. "Yes?"

"He does care about you very much," Abi said again. "It would be easy to mistake that for the thing that's best for you." She nodded to Chay and her female advisor. "Come," she said, exiting the room with them in tow. Bella considered her words for a moment, but then she hurried after Veyo, worried that Edward might already be gone.

She caught sight of them across the clearing, just as they disappeared into the tree line. Quickly she followed. "Wait!"

Veyo turned, holding onto Edward's forearm, and for the first time Bella noticed he was tied up, his wrists bound tightly with a thick rope. "You heard Abi's order," Veyo said. "We're leaving."

"She told me I could say goodbye," Bella insisted.

He frowned, but nodded, letting go of Edward and trotting far enough away to give them some room while still keeping an eye on his prisoner.

"Bella," Edward said, turning to face her. She hated seeing him tied up like that, but she didn't dare try to loosen his bonds with Veyo hawking them. "You have to come home with me. This is crazy."

"Jacob is off in the wilderness somewhere, Edward," she protested. "I can't leave here knowing he might think I'm dead… and that he killed me."

"Jacob can take care of himself," Edward protested. "You can't. And I don't trust you with these people."

Bella frowned at him. "I can so take care of myself," she protested.

He smirked a little. "You are the most accident-prone person I've ever met," he said. "You can't even make it through a single day without-"

"Yeah well I made it through a lot of days while you were gone," she interrupted. "And I didn't kill myself, accidental or otherwise, did I?"

The expression he gave her was so pained she almost regretted her words- almost. "Bella…"

"Edward," she said, cutting him off again. "I need to stay here for a day or two more. I have to find Jacob and make sure he's okay. I care for him, and you need to understand that."

"I do, but-"

"No," she said. "I'm not leaving him here when he needs me. When I already hurt him so much."

"Hurt him!" Edward exploded, his anger boiling over. "He's the one who nearly killed you!"

"Yeah, because of what you said!" she answered, equally angry. "You made it sound like he was just a toy to me. How would you have felt?"

A smile appeared for just an instant on his lips before he looked at her in confusion. "I thought that's what you said, that if things didn't work out-"

"I was trying not to hurt you," she said, impatiently. "And yeah, if things didn't work out with me and Jake, I'd want to be with you again. Of course I would, because I love you. Only I love him too, and for once I feel like that's not such a bad thing. But when you said those things to him… you made it sound as if I'd already made up my mind, and that was wrong." The more she spoke the more sure she felt. "You were cruel to him, Edward. I think on purpose."

He looked absolutely stunned that she was saying what she was saying, and she felt pretty stunned herself. Stunned and a little proud. She reached out and touched his hair, stroking the side of his face with her hand. Where Jacob would have leaned into her touch, Edward stood there, staring at her. His cheek was cold and hard against her fingertips.

"If you can't understand why I want to stay… then you can't. But I need to. I promised Jake I wouldn't let him lose himself, and if that's how he's feeling then he needs me right now. So I'm staying. But you need to go." She nodded to emphasize her words. "I'll see you in a couple of days." She turned and walked back towards the village, ignoring the grin on Veyo's face as she passed him.

"Bella!" Edward called after her, his voice desperate. "Your reasons don't even make any sense! Jacob-" His words were cut off, probably by Veyo. Bella forced herself not to look over her shoulder, and as she emerged from the trees she made a beeline back to the hall, but she found it deserted.

She hurried back outside, asking a few different people if they knew where Abi was. Finally one answered her, gesturing in the direction of a house in almost the very centre of the village. Bella hurried in that direction, and approached the man standing by the door, noticing the bow slung over his shoulder and the club at his waist. He put a hand up as she moved toward him, so she slowed her pace cautiously before stopping in front of him. He was almost as big as Chay, and pretty menacing looking. She swallowed nervously.

"I need to see Abi," she told him, urgency slipping into her voice.

He bristled, frowning at her. "Are you demanding an audience with Iniabi?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh," she said quickly, realizing her mistake. "No, I'm not demanding… but if she's available… I really need- I mean I'd really _like_ to talk to her. Please."

A female voice, not Abi's, called out in their language from inside the hut, and the guard motioned for her to stay put before disappearing inside. He reemerged a moment later, and nodded toward the hut, giving her permission to enter. She smiled briefly at him in thanks and then hurried inside. Abi sat in a chair, wearing a much more casual outfit than before, and her female advisor stood behind her, helping her untangle the elaborate headdress from where it was woven into her hair. She set it down on its own pedestal as Abi smiled at Bella, beckoning her to come and sit on her bed across from them. Bella did so, returning the smile.

"Did you have a chance to say goodbye?" Abi asked her, and at Bella's nod she added, "Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah," Bella answered in surprise. "Yeah, I do actually."

Abi smiled at her. "I knew you would." The woman behind her reached for a hairbrush and started threading it through Abi's hair, but she stopped her, taking her hand and pulling her around to stand in front of her. She smiled at her, saying something in their language and placing her hand on the woman's bowed head, holding it there for a long moment before removing it, as Bella had seen her do with Veyo and Jacob in the cave before. The woman smiled at Abi and then left them alone in the room.

"Sorry," Bella said. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"You didn't," Abi assured her, running the brush through her soft brown hair. "She'll be back soon enough." She stood and crossed the room to the bed, sitting down next to Bella. "Now, what can I help you with?"

"Veyo said you have a phone."

"I do," she agreed with a nod.

"Well… can I use it? I would reimburse you for the long distance charges."

"Do you need to call your father?" Abi asked, setting down the hairbrush and leaning against the wall. Bella leaned back as well, feeling more like she was at a slumber party than having an audience with a queen.

"No," Bella answered. "I wanted to call Sam- he's the alpha of Jake's pack. He might know where Jacob is, because of the mind thing… but even if he doesn't, I was hoping he could at least tell him I'm alright, in case he's out there beating himself up about what happened."

"I'm glad Jacob has a friend like you," Abi said with a smile. "But you don't need to be concerned about him."

"I know," Bella said. "I know he can take care of himself, but I still worry about him out there."

"He's not out there, Bella," Abi answered. At Bella's blank stare she explained, "He returned to the village while you were unconscious. He's being prepared for the ritual as we speak. I thought you knew that."

"The ritual?" Bella asked, now more confused than ever.

"Sorry," Abi said. "I forget you don't know our customs. Jacob must elude and likely engage in combat with our best warrior- Chay, who you've seen at my side in the hall. It's a tradition going back generations for men joining our people."

"But… I thought that was the ceremony that was supposed to happen before your wedding?" Bella asked slowly.

Abi smiled gently at her and said, "It is." Her smile faded and she quickly took Bella's hand, giving it a squeeze. "Oh, Bella… I thought Veyo would have certainly told you of Jacob's decision."

"No," Bella said, closing her eyes briefly. She couldn't believe that Jacob had decided to marry Abi after all… only, she _could_ believe it, after everything that happened. But she didn't want to. She stood up. "No, I have to talk to him."

"You can't," Abi said, standing as well. "The ritual has started."

"I don't care!" Bella snapped, and Abi frowned at her. She took a breath, calming herself. "Sorry. But I need to talk to him before he's stuck in that cave for ten days straight."

"Bella," Abi said firmly. "You cannot interrupt the ritual once it's begun. You would shame Jacob beyond measure, and the people would be outraged. I wouldn't be able to protect you from them, and you'd have to go."

"But…" she trailed off, feeling tears pricking her eyes. Abi reached her arms out and pulled Bella into her embrace, but Bella couldn't let herself be comforted by her. Not this time. Not with what was happening tonight. "I have to go," she said, backing away from the other girl, who looked incredibly sympathetic, which somehow just made it worse.

Bella turned and ran from Abi's hut, not able to hold back her tears now, running out into the forest, not paying attention to where she was going until she had tripped over a decaying log, falling to the ground. It was like she was back in Forks again, after Edward had left, wandering the woods, forlorn and devastated. Finally she curled up in the shade of a massive cedar tree, inhaling the scent of dirt and pine needles, willing her tears to stop. But instead, they just flowed faster.


	14. Chapter 14

A circle of men stood in a clearing in the woods, as non-descript as any other clearing but made unique by the decorations that adorned it. There were huge upright torches set up here and there, forming a ring of light that would withstand the gathering darkness ahead. The lowest branches of the surrounding trees were covered with various ornaments, here the wing of a raven, goose, or eagle, there the carving of a bear, wolf, or frog. The face of the young man standing in the centre of all the other men was set in hard lines, his jaw tightened as he prepared himself for what was ahead. The men around him reached their hands out touch his bare skin, their palms coated in vibrant whites, reds, yellows, and blacks, the natural pigments of this land.

Jacob didn't even flinch as the cold, wet paint was pressed onto his skin; he had been told that through the handprint, each warrior would transfer his personal strength to him for the battle, both physical and spiritual, that lay ahead. They had given him a drink that had made his senses unimaginably keen, and any lingering thoughts of Bella had faded as the cool, frothy liquid went down. The drink had bolstered his confidence and made him feel in tune with the thudding of his heart in his chest and all the nature around him. He could smell the earthy scents of the paints they were using, and as they pressed their strength into his chest, shoulders, and back, he felt a deep kinship with them, as though they were all brothers.

Now that they had drunk together and transferred their strength to Jacob, the warriors lined up and filed past him one at a time. As each came to stand before him, they pressed the palm of their unpainted hand to their own heart and then extended it to him, pressing it against his chest as well. With this final blessing, they departed, leaving him alone in the clearing. The sun was dipping below the mountaintops, and despite the fact that sunset was still an hour or so off, he knew it would be pitch black here very soon. He would not be allowed to bring any kind of light with him on his journey, and would have to rely on his own eyes to guide him by the light of the full moon. He was nearly nude, wearing nothing but a small loincloth, tied at his hips with a leather cord. Jacob paced the clearing, waiting for the unknown, draining the last of the strong drink from the cups the other men had left behind.

There was a rustle in the trees and he turned toward it, all his senses tuned on what might present itself. He knew immediately that it wasn't Chay; the footsteps were too light. But he was still surprised when the figure of a woman emerged from the shadows.

"Mitsis," he said, swallowing a little as the woman came toward him. She was dressed in leggings and a billowing shirt tasseled with the vibrant feathers of a red-tailed hawk, and all her clothes had been dyed with red ochre. The bright colours made his eyes go wide, and he knew they were all the more brighter because of the herbs running through his system from the drink. She approached him, not speaking, and took hold of his shoulders. She was a small woman, coming only up to his armpits, but he found himself falling to his knees before her.

When she placed the palms of her hands against his jawbone, they were as cool as water. He felt like his blood was boiling, and he welcomed her touch. He had a crazy feeling that through her hands they were connected, and for a moment it seemed that their bodies were not only indistinguishable from one another, but also from the trees around them, or the dirt, or the air, or the mountains that loomed above them. He grinned at the feeling, and Mitsis grinned back.

"Jacob," she said, and her voice seemed like it occupied the space around them, like she was a goddess. Suddenly he understood _her_ to be the Great Mother they all talked about, guardian of all the mysteries of life, and his mouth dropped open in awe at her magnificence. But a moment later she looked normal again, even though he could still see that other face just behind her, like a shadow, something he could see only out of the corner of his eye.

"Jacob," she said again, speaking English for his sake. "Son of the Quileute. Grandson of Ephraim, leader of the Quileute pack, and grandson of Taima, born in these lands. You come here to seek marriage with Iniabi, daughter of Akecheta, granddaughter of Mahal, and ruler in these lands. You seek to give her the daughter that can carry the dreams and hopes of our people into the future. Do you accept your role with us, and though risking certain death against our fiercest warrior in the uncertain wilderness, do you trust that the Great Mother will guide you home again, or end your life if She may wish it for Her own?"

"I accept," he answered, as he had been instructed to do.

Mitsis stared deeply into his eyes. He felt like she could see his soul, like she was examining every moment of his life, from conception to now, even the things he didn't remember. He felt like she was taking him inside herself, to give birth to him all over again as a member of this tribe. He understood that he was leaving himself behind, and whether he would find himself again or not, he didn't know. But he had no fear.

She kept gazing into his eyes, and after what felt like hours she finally spoke again, and he understood that she was prophesying now as she said, "You will be successful against our warrior and you will arrive at the cave ready for your wife. You will go to her, and she will receive you with open arms." She smiled, and he couldn't help but smile back. "Together you will learn the pleasures of your bodies, and the world will open for you in ways you cannot now foresee." She reached up and touched his hair, then kissed him on the forehead. "Everything will become much clearer to you than it is now. The confusion you hold now will disappear and you will feel peace and certainity. Your priorities will realign and you will understand what it feels like to give yourself to something much bigger than you alone."

Jacob nodded. He felt ready for all of that and more. He wanted to dedicate himself to this community, to Abi, and learn to love her, to make her happy, to make their people happy, and after hearing Mitsis's words he was now even more sure of his decision to do this. Mitsis released his face and reached for his hands, pulling him to his feet. Jacob stood, and they just grinned at each other for a long moment, not letting go of each other's hands. Finally he couldn't resist putting his arms around her, hugging her close.

"This is so weird," he said sheepishly. "I feel like… you're my mother."

"And so I am," she answered with a smile, giving him another moment before pulling back from his embrace. She led him to a stump and had him sit down, and then she reached for the paints the men had left in various small pots nearby.

She dipped her fingers into the first one, which had a deep black colour, and started to smear the paint on his body, covering his chest, back, shoulders, arms, and stomach. She even smoothed the mixture over his face, stopping at the bridge of his nose and making a horizontal line at that point across his enter face before kneeling before him and starting on his legs. Soon the only parts of him that weren't black were the palms of his hands, soles of his feet, and the top half of his face. "To help conceal yourself on your journey tonight," she explained. The black paint covered the handprints of the warriors, but somehow he still felt their strength against his skin.

Mitsis put the black paint aside, reaching for another colour. This time her fingers came back bright yellow, and she made a careful row of arrows from his right shoulder to his right wrist, all the arrowheads pointing away from his body. "To ensure that your bow will always shoot true," she told him as she finished the arrows. Next, she dipped her fingers into the red, and painted the top half of his face, careful to avoid his eyes. She painted the palm of her hand yellow and pressed it to his heart, clarifying, "This has a different purpose than when the warriors gave you their hands. This is ensure that, before you act, you must first know what is in your heart."

Finally, Mitsis dipped her fingers into the bowl of white paint, which was so pure that it shone even in the dimness of twilight; he knew it would be radiant in the moonlight. Mitsis touched her fingers to his lips, spreading the white paint over them like lipstick before she traced a line from his now-white lips, down his chest and stomach, ending it just above his pubic hair, which she exposed momentarily by pulling down slightly on his loincloth. She smiled at him and explained, "To guide your lover home."

Despite the drink and his bolstered confidence, he blushed. Her smile momentarily broadened, but she said nothing more. She put the paints aside and had him stand, then walked around him three times, checking her work. Once she was satisfied, she came to stand before him once again.

"Since our Great Mother was but a babe in her own mother's womb, the great womb of the earth where we all must one day return, we have carried out these rituals. As an outsider, you were not born on this land; you do not ache for its freedom or wish for its sovereignty. Tonight you marry our queen. You bring fresh blood to her line, and the promise of an heir that will carry us forward in uncertain times."

Jacob listened intently, fully engrossed in the story she was weaving. He felt like he could see her words manifested in the air around them, as plainly as he saw her face or the trees.

"As you run through these lands," Mitsis continued, "your feet will learn the textures of the sticks and leaves beneath them, the very same sticks and leaves that decay to feed the soil that nourishes the plants we eat. And as you are wounded, as the deer's flank is pierced by a hunter's bow, you will know what it is to bleed for this land, and you will know how it feels to be the people's prey, so you will never take for granted the sacrifices of the animals who feed us."

He nodded, already mentally preparing himself for what lay ahead, the part he hadn't had the heart to tell Bella about, where he would be ritually injured by Chay, for all the reasons she had just described. Still, he felt no fear.

"Finally," Mitsis said, "you will rise above it all, and see the Great Mystery that binds all life together to make us one. When you return your feet to the earth that helped sustain you in your mother's womb, that very same earth that helped nurture your steps as you grew, you will go to your wife knowing that she is not only that but also your sister, your mother, and your daughter. Together you will create new life within her, and ensure the immortality of her line. You will take your place in that great wheel of existence, that timeless mystery which is meant to stay unknown until the world should cease to be."

It was a lot to take in. He wanted to laugh, but it was an irrational, nervous reaction that he knew the drink was partly responsible for. Mitsis stepped away from him, going to the edge of the clearing and pulling something from a small leather pouch that had been set on a rock earlier by one of the warriors. She returned to him, slipping a necklace over his head. The string was long enough that even if he shifted into wolf form, it wouldn't be lost, even though he'd been told this ritual was meant to be carried out in human form only. A huge wolf's tooth hung from the leather cord, its surface bearing intricately carved designs, mostly spirals and etched lines. It was so big that Jacob knew it had come not from a common wolf, but from one of them- a shapeshifter, a descendent of the first Quileute. He touched it lightly in awe, feeling the ridges of the patterns with his fingertips.

"May the fang of Maha Kia keep you safe," Mitsis said, blessing him with a kiss on each cheek. "She shed it defending her children, so that we all might live." With that final sentiment, she left him, alone once more, in the clearing.

Night had officially fallen, and the full moon was steadily rising higher in the sky. The cool clear light of the moon seemed to beckon to him, and he located the North Star in the night sky, knowing it would lead him to his destination, the cave that was set into the mountain that flanked this valley to the north. He felt an overwhelming compulsion to go there, as though the star was beckoning, and for a moment he thought he almost heard it calling his name.

Jacob stayed in human form, crouching as he made his way into the woods, knowing that the white paint on the front side of his body would show up well in the dark and might give away his position to Chay, who he knew would already be pursuing him. The forest felt alive with expectation, and even the birds and crickets seemed hushed in anticipation of this night. Jacob felt like he'd never smelled before, the scents of the forest were so intense. He could even smell the lake, though he knew it was far from where he stood, and there was no breeze to help him in that regard.

It was all him, or rather the drink intensifying his own abilities, and he noticed that his vision was much sharper as well as he moved into the darker parts of the forest. He was acutely aware of every piece of the forest floor individually as his feet passed over it, even as he saw the whole thing as one entity- a living, breathing, perhaps even sentient being that surrounded him with a staggering variety of life. From the insects that crawled beneath the ground to the trees that towered over him to the stars in the sky, Jacob felt connected to it all. He could see himself as one piece of a much more massive thing, ultimately insignificant but simultaneously as uniquely important as every other piece involved. If he died today, it would matter little to the world and, he realized in surprise, little to him as well. He was ready.

Jacob moved through the underbrush in almost complete silence, his every sense listening, watching, smelling, and feeling for danger. He walked on like this for perhaps a mile before he heard a twig snap not too far away. His entire body froze and he dropped, belly-down, to the ground. For several minutes there was nothing, no sound at all, but he could feel the presence of another person in the forest, quite near him. He wasn't alone. He was so not alone that his skin burned with that knowledge. This time, he heard the distinct crunch of a leaf.

Quickly he moved in the direction of the sound, his belly almost level with the ground as he crawled, soundlessly. His feet felt like they were made of feathers they were so quiet, and soon he caught sight of the body of another man, a huge man that he recognized to be Chay with the conscious part of his mind, but the rest of him just surged with a primal growling, one single word boiling through his brain, _Enemy._ The drink was fully in his system now, electrifying his senses and clouding parts of his mind while sharpening others beyond what he thought possible. It was an intense feeling.

Letting out a loud, high-pitched whoop, Jacob lunged through some bushes and ran past Chay, bringing his hands together and slamming the base of the man's neck with his clenched fists as he passed, disappearing through the foliage on the other side of Chay's surprised form. Jacob crouched low once more, a huge grin on his face as he sized up his opponent once more. He couldn't keep still, shifting his weight from one foot to another as Chay crouched low, waiting expectantly for Jacob's next attack. Somewhere in the back of his mind Jacob felt like this wasn't proper procedure, like he was supposed to be eluding Chay, not fighting him, but this felt much more natural, so he ignored his doubts. He licked his lips, biding his time until he couldn't stand the wait any longer.

Again he screamed, jumping up once more and taking another run at Chay, but this time the bigger man was ready for him, and easily deflected Jacob's blow. Jacob retreated into the tree line again, skirting around so Chay wouldn't be able to find him where he'd disappeared from view. Chay hurried after him, throwing his hands into bushes and looking around trees to try to find him. Jacob kept a step ahead of him, circling near his location but never letting him find him. Eventually Chay seemed to decide that Jacob had left, and he started walking north. Jacob grinned, falling into step behind him, keeping completely silent as he tailed Chay through the forest.

After a while, Jacob realized they were close to the shore of the lake, because he could hear the waves lapping against the rocks so loudly it almost hurt his ears. He started having trouble following Chay as he skirted the beach, since the sounds and smells of the lake were so overwhelming. Pretty soon he couldn't make out Chay's footsteps anymore at all, nor could he see him in the brighter light of the shore, nor could he smell him up ahead. Jacob continued on this path anyway, looking up at the North Star and knowing it hovered over his ultimate destination.

Something slammed into him from the side, lurching him completely off-balance, and then he felt his body being bear-hugged, his feet kicking uselessly at air, no longer finding their footing on the ground. The next moment he felt himself being wrestled into the lake, and he was thrown in deep enough that the water covered him completely. It was ice-cold, and he quickly rose up, sputtering and gasping. The chill and shock of the water took the edge off whatever the warriors had had him drink earlier, so he felt a bit more sane as he stumbled back to shore, glad that he'd managed to recover some of his senses. He realized that had probably been Chay's goal as he saw the bigger man disappear into the tree line not too far away. Jacob trotted off in the other direction, trying to get around in front of Chay and continue on toward his destination, suddenly deciding it was a better idea to evade rather than engage.

He padded through the forest, keeping his footsteps as light as possible. His senses were still sharp and everything still seemed amazing, but he felt like he had more of his wits about him now, and he was glad of it. He hurried through the woods, regretting that being tossed in the lake had also dulled his exaggerated confidence, so that he started to feel nervous about going to Abi, and the ten days that would follow.

Soon Jacob couldn't think about that anymore, as he started to feel like he was being followed. Little sounds off in the distance, continuously coming from the same general direction, as well as the raising of the hair on the back of his neck, were his clues, so he took more care with his own footsteps, and tried his hardest to walk in the denser trees and not out in the open where he could be easily spotted.

Though Jacob was quick and agile, Chay had larger steps, and he didn't have to take care not to be seen, so he could move more quickly through the underbrush. Jacob realized he was going to have to elude him a different way, so he weighed his options as he continued to walk. He could hide, and hope that Chay passed him, but eventually they would have to cross paths again if he wanted to make it to the cave. His other choice was to try to attack Chay again; now that his head was on straighter, the attempt might be more successful. He opted for that, and jogged ahead to gain a bit of distance before he found a suitable tree and climbed, as quickly and silently as he could, into the lower boughs. He stayed there, crouched low, barely breathing, as he waited for Chay to pass underneath.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he caught sight of Chay's dark body through the foliage. Though not as ornately done as Jacob's own paint job, Chay was also adorned with colour, mostly red and white, making him stand out amid the brown tree trunks.

Jacob readied himself as Chay drew near, calculating when he would need to drop to take the bigger man by surprise. When Chay was in position, Jacob leapt from the tree, not uttering a sound, and landed deftly on the man's back, his arms wrapping around his shoulders. Chay whirled, throwing Jacob off of him, but Jacob didn't hit the ground, landing nimbly on his feet instead and crouching low. The two young men circled each other for a tense few moments. As they did so, Jacob's eyes played tricks on him; first Chay was a deer, and then a bear, and then a man. It was as though he was shifting into those animals the way they could both shift into wolves, but Jacob knew it was a hallucination. Still, that knowledge didn't seem to dilute the power of what he was seeing. Even when Chay was a man, the flaming colours of his skin made him seem like a giant.

It was Jacob who eventually made the first move, as he realized Chay wasn't going to. As they continued to circle each other Jacob lunged at him randomly, hoping to take him off-guard; it seemed to work, as Chay was thrown off-balance from the weight of Jacob slamming into his chest. He grunted, and locked his arms around Jacob's shoulders, and the two men continued to circle, each trying to gain the upper hand as they pushed and pulled against each other's weight.

Finally Jacob was able to hook a foot behind Chay's ankle, and he pulled him off-balance, sending him crashing to the ground. Chay was up again in a split-second, and Jacob saw a glint as he extracted a knife from its sheath at his side. Jacob looked at it in confusion for a moment, since he himself had been given no weapons, but almost immediately he accepted the knife as part of the pattern of everything, as part of Chay's arm and even his own, and it ceased to trouble him.

The men circled each other once more; their eyes were locked in a standoff as tense as any Jacob had ever found himself in before. They were both bent double, crouched low, and slowly Jacob pulled his lips back from his teeth, baring them to Chay. He growled, a low rumble in his throat, and even though he wasn't in wolf form he felt as though his throat by itself had somehow transformed into that of a wolf, and that he had the power to change any part of himself separate from every other, that it didn't have to be all or nothing.

When Chay growled back, it sprung Jacob into action and he charged again, trying to grab Chay around the shoulders once more, but Chay sidestepped just out of his reach, his hand flashing as Jacob ran by him.

It took a moment for Jacob to realize he'd been cut, and he touched a hand to his chest, feeling his blood flowing from the thin seam Chay had opened right across Mitsis' bright yellow handprint. Without even thinking about it or weighing whether it was right or wrong, he brought his fingers to his lips and sucked the blood from them, feeling the iron taste coat his tongue before sliding down his throat. He threw his head back and howled; it didn't sound as great as it did when he was in wolf form, but it felt right to him.

When he looked down again, Chay had dropped to one knee in the dirt in front of him, looking up at Jacob. "You have bled for our land," he said, "as an honourable son bleeds for his mother in times of war." He stood, taking a small pouch from inside his shirt and poured a pile of ash into his cupped palm. He curled his fingers around it and touched one side of the tunnel formed by his fingers against Jacob's already healing chest, putting his lips against the other side. He blew the ash into Jacob's wound before it could close fully, causing him to hiss in pain. "You are now one of my brothers," Chay said. "One of the warriors of our people. I dare not keep you from your goal." He bowed his head, taking a step back, raising his arm and pointing north.

Jacob looked past him and saw the huge mountain looming out of the trees very near to where they were standing. Without another look at Chay, he hurried in that direction, his heart pounding as he imagined what Abi might look like waiting for him, and wondering how profoundly his life was going to change after tonight. He felt a hunger growing deep in his belly, and it wasn't a hunger for food. The excitement and danger of the fight had seemed to elicit his desire for a woman, and suddenly he couldn't get to her fast enough.

He reached the cave and slipped into the passageway, hurrying through it, anxious to reach his destination. He saw the flicker of firelight up ahead and quickened his pace, and soon he was in the chamber. It was dim, but bright enough to make out the huge bed, as well as a bench set against the wall, full of food. But his attention was on Abi, who was standing at the foot of the bed, waiting for him.

She was strikingly beautiful. Though it was dark, her body shone with white paint. She was dressed in nothing but a loincloth and a doeskin half-shirt, and had a line similar to his own from her lips to the junction of her thighs. A large spiral adorned her belly, right over her womb, and thin, slightly curved lines covered her entire body, flowing uninterrupted from the base of her neck to the bumps of her ankles, on her front and sides, and he imagined on the back of her body as well. She wore a headdress of deerskin, complete with antlers, which cast angular shadows over her face.

Jacob approached her, feeling his body already responding to hers as he drank in the sight of her. He heard her breath quicken, and his did the same as he closed the distance between them. He reached up with a hand, tracing the curve of her neck, and then upward to sweep over her cheek, finally clasping the corner of her headdress in his hand and pulling it back from her face, no longer able to stand that their lips weren't touching. It fell to the floor, exposing her impossibly dark brown eyes. They looked up at him with such trust and expectation that he found himself whispering, "I love you."

"I love you too, Jake," she whispered in response as his arms slipped around her back, feeling the incredible softness of her skin.

Suddenly, he drew back as the tone of her voice belatedly hit him. He forced himself to take in what he was seeing. His eyes fell on her teeth, which were chewing nervously on her bottom lip, and then his eyes narrowed in confusion before widening once more in a final, delayed recognition. In a shocked whisper, from the depths of his altered consciousness, he managed to choke out her name and nothing more, _"Bella?"_


	15. Chapter 15

She wasn't sure how long she laid among the roots of the cedar tree, or whether or not she slept, but it seemed like time stopped existing as she lay there. Her only company was the beating of her heart; the lonely pounding filled her chest with despair.

Bella knew she had done this. Her inability to resist Edward while at the same time falling for Jacob had brought her to this place, and now she had made a mess of everything. Part of her wished she had gone home with Edward, but it was only a vague feeling of longing, and she knew it was a longing for another time and place, before he'd left and everything had changed, and she knew she couldn't go back there- not really.

But if Jacob was getting married… Bella felt desolate, inconsolable with grief. The cold of the forest started to creep into her bones as the sun began creeping towards the horizon, and she felt as though her world was ending. She wanted to move, to stand up, to shake out her limbs and somehow go on from this place, but she felt frozen in time, wishing so much that she could put right all the wrongs she had done, but having no idea how to do so.

She imagined what Jacob must be doing now. They were preparing him for his ritual, and she didn't know what that entailed, but she could imagine his body being painted as was the practice here. She worried for him, fearful of what could go wrong even with a ceremonial chase through the woods. Would he be hurt? Would he be thinking of her? Was he doing this in anger, or had he truly decided this was right for his heart?

Bella couldn't ask him these questions, because she couldn't see him, didn't know where he was. She wished for a moment, just a moment, with him. She could imagine his warm face easily, the smile he would give her as she approached him, full of the pain she had caused but still always loving her, somehow always forgiving her even when her sins ran so deep she thought she would drown in them. She knew he wouldn't let her drown, he would save her from going under and breathe life back into her body. But not if he was so far away, forgetting about her and learning to love someone else.

What she'd said to Edward had been true. She believed that he had bent the truth to serve his own purposes, twisting her words and Jacob's thoughts to paint a picture of himself on a white horse. But for the first time Bella could see behind that painting, and she knew it was a lie. There was no denying that Edward cared for her, loved her, and wanted what was best for her- but it was what _he_ thought was best, not what she wanted.

Abi's words kept repeating over and over again in her head as she lay there. "He does care about you very much," she'd said. "It would be easy to mistake that for the thing that's best for you."

_Yes,_ Bella thought. _It would be easy. It has been easy._

She had thought that Jacob was the easy choice, and in some ways he was; he made her feel unconditionally loved, he was far less complicated, far less dangerous, and he made her feel better about herself as a living person by just being near her. But now she could see that it was Edward who was truly the easy choice. She had fallen for the majesty of him, all the things he'd warned her about, and it had been so simple to do so. And when he'd left her, taking all of that away, it had physically hurt her to live apart from those things, from him.

But how much of what she'd missed had been those attributes, rather than him? If all things were equal, as Abi had asked, which one would she choose? Would she still find Edward appealing without the ethereal beauty and presence gifted to him by his vampirism? She didn't know. But she had ceased believing that Jacob was the easy choice. It was a struggle just to speak out against Edward, let alone choose to be with someone else. Yet she had chosen Jacob, only it was too late. And what about him? What about what _he_ deserved? Surely someone better than her.

Gradually, her tears stopped, not because she was feeling better but because she had nothing left. She knew she would eventually have to stand up, she would eventually have to return to the village, and she would eventually have to ask someone to take her home because she had no idea where she was. She felt like a child lost in a department store, that sick creeping feeling of the slow buildup of panic, the despair at learning that someone who loved you so much could suddenly disappear.

But she didn't have to stand up. Someone else found her first. She had heard the distant crunching of leaves and snapping of twigs, but hadn't given it much thought, as she felt fairly numb to everything right now. By the time she decided that they were, in fact, footsteps, they were nearly upon her. She considered getting up, considered running, but the energy requirements alone overwhelmed her, so she stayed put, curled in the fetal position, as silent as a fawn left by its mother in the tall grass.

There was sudden, massive pressure on her shoulder as something huge stepped over the log and directly onto her. She made no sound even as she felt her ribcage being compressed, but a moment later the pressure was removed as the foot was pulled off of her again. Bella managed to turn her head, more out of curiosity than worry, and saw the looming form of a huge gray wolf looking down at her. She felt no fear, and simply turned her head back into the crook of her arm, closing her eyes.

She heard a muffled sound, and then definite human footsteps as the person circled around to crouch in front of Bella. "I thought you were dead," Veyo said, reaching out and touching her shoulder, frowning. Bella jerked it away; this was the last person she wanted to run into, but he was also a perfect outlet for all her anger and frustration at this situation and at herself. It was easy to blame Veyo for keeping the truth from her; maybe everything could have been different if she had just known.

"You knew," she said flatly, not looking at him, her voice hoarse from all the crying. "You knew what Jacob had decided and you didn't tell me."

Veyo let out a small sigh. "It wasn't my place."

She glared at him, and then her expression went flat again. "It doesn't matter."

He crouched there for a long moment, just looking at her, as though he was trying to figure her out. Finally he spoke, "And your plan is what, exactly? To die of exposure? Become part of the landscape?"

Again she tossed him a glare, his sarcasm irritating her. She just wanted him to go away, leave her in peace and let her be. Bella closed her eyes again, to make her point.

She heard his small huff of frustration, and then heard him stand. Her heart lurched with fear as she wondered if he was really going to leave her here, but a moment later he said, "I showed Abi what you were doing before I shifted. She wants me to bring you back to the village."

"Well I don't want to go," she said stubbornly.

"Yeah, I really care what you want," he answered sarcastically, reaching down and hefting her into his arms like a sack of flour. Bella tried to squirm out of his grasp, but he was much stronger than her, and it was useless.

"What does she care anyway?" she snapped. "Doesn't she have to get ready for her marriage?" She felt Veyo's body stiffen almost imperceptibly, and his jaw tightened, but he ignored her. She couldn't help but egg him on a little, she was so angry, "Oh, so you like this about as much as I do. Finally we agree on something."

He looked at her sharply. "Don't compare yourself to me," he growled. "You can't bring yourself to sacrifice your love for one of those men even if it means the happiness of the other, and so you hurt them both. I sacrifice my love every day for the good of my people, and so I hurt no one. Don't you_ dare_ call that the same thing."

"So you're in love with Abi," she retorted. "Sucks to be you, I guess." Belatedly she noticed his skin was rippling, far more intensely than she'd ever seen before, and she worried that she'd gone too far.

Veyo dropped her unceremoniously into a soft patch of moss and retreated to a nearby tree, where he stood stiffly, clenching and unclenching his fists, his breath coming in seething grunts, nearing growls. Bella scrambled to her feet.

"Don't run," he bit out, not turning to face her. "If you run, I'll chase you and this will end badly."

She hesitated, her instincts telling her to disobey and take off, but she had to trust him; she had no other choice. She crouched down again, but she was ready to spring at any moment, in case he lost it. She kept seeing Emily's disfigured face in her mind, and Sam _loved_ her, worshipped her. What would someone like Veyo, who despised Bella, do to her if he caught her? And she knew he would catch her.

Veyo stalked through the trees out of sight, but Bella could hear him crashing around for a while before finally the sounds died down and there was nothing but silence. She waited, her heart pounding, scanning the dark forest for any sign of movement. Finally she caught sight of him returning and she swallowed hard, readying herself to run, but as he got closer she could see his skin was no longer jumping, and she relaxed a little. He still looked irritated, but he was no longer suffering from the boiling rage she knew to be so dangerous.

He jerked his head in the direction of the village and started walking that way, ignoring her. She decided it would be wise to ignore him too, so they walked all the way back to the village in silence, heading directly to Abi's hut. A few times she opened her mouth to try to apologize, realizing how deeply out of line she'd been, but she was too afraid to say anything to him, apology or not. When they arrived at Abi's hut, he led her right past the guard at the door without a word, and Bella saw Abi sitting on the bed, obviously waiting expectantly for their arrival. She rose as they entered, but her eyes were on Veyo.

"What is it?" she asked, frowning in concern.

"It's nothing," he said gently. "Here she is."

"Veyo-" she started, reaching out a hand.

"Iniabi," he said stiffly, drawing back from her touch. They had a short conversation with their eyes that Bella couldn't decode and then Abi nodded to him, giving him permission to leave. Without even a glance in Bella's direction, Veyo turned and left them, stalking from the room. She watched him go guiltily.

"I'm glad you're alright, Bella," Abi said gently, patting a spot on the bed next to her.

Bella didn't sit, crossing her arms over her chest. Her days of liking this girl were over. "I thought you'd be having some ritual of your own," she said, her voice dripping with hostility.

Abi didn't look like she was too pleased with being refused or spoken to in that way, but she let it go, saying only, "Jacob's ritual is more involved than my own. I won't begin my preparations until the moon is higher."

"I'd like to go home in the morning," Bella answered.

"Would you?" Abi asked.

"Why do you always do that?" Bella snapped. "You never believe me."

"It's hard to believe someone who doesn't believe herself," Abi answered, irritation entering her voice.

"Yeah, well, I believe myself now and it's too late."

"Too late for Jacob, you mean," she said gently.

"Yeah," Bella said, nodding, biting her lip to keep it from trembling. "He's going to marry you and stay here forever. And I'm never going to see him again." She finally sat down on the bed, a few tears escaping her eyes. Abi gingerly reached out a hand and touched her shoulders; Bella's instinct was to jerk away, but she forced herself not to, accepting the comfort.

"Bella," Abi said quietly. "Do you think Jacob really wants to stay here forever?"

"I guess so," she mumbled sadly. "He's made his choice, right?"

Abi stood, and walked to the other side of the room, where she dipped a cup into a large cistern, bringing it back to Bella and handing it to her. "This will make you feel better," she promised. Bella recognized the scent of the sweet tea she liked and gulped it down, relieved to have something that soothed her raw throat. When she put down the cup, she noticed with surprise that Abi had left, but she returned a moment later with the woman advisor. "This is Halona," she said. "She helps me prepare for all the great festivals and rituals of our people."

Bella stood up. "Well, don't let me stop you," she said, taking a step toward the door. Abi reached up and caught her shoulder, pushing her back down on the bed. Bella was surprised how strong she was, but she supposed that Abi _was_ a werewolf, and she knew they were just naturally massively strong. But she really didn't want to be here right now; she knew Abi was just trying to be nice and include her, but the last thing she wanted was to witness the wedding preparations of Jacob's bride.

Halona handed something to Abi and Abi in turn handed it to Bella. It was a small leather pouch, and the two women looked at Bella expectantly, waiting. With frustration Bella drew open the cord that held the pouch closed and shook some peculiar-looking dried berries into her palm. She looked to Abi for an explanation.

"They are called _nvda agowatiha_,"Abi explained. "'The berries that open the eyes.'"

"I don't understand," Bella admitted.

"Jacob has been given the sacred drink of ritual," Abi explained. "It has changed his awareness of the world around him, and given him power for the journey ahead. But it has also put him in a place far away from his right mind. The _nvda agowatiha_ counteract that drink, so that when he comes home to his bride he will have all his senses about him, and can love her with the purity that comes from his soul."

"Oh," she said, putting the berries back in the pouch and handing them over. "Great."

Abi smiled at her, and then beckoned Halona forward. Bella watched her set down a small wooden dish full of pure white paint, not a single imperfection in the colour or the smooth texture.

"You must remove your clothes for this," Halona said, and Bella stood up, starting for the door to leave them alone.

"Bella," Abi said from behind her. "She isn't talking to me."

Slowly Bella turned around, her brow furrowing in confusion. Sure enough, Halona was looking right at her, like she was expecting _her_ to disrobe and be painted up. Bella looked at Abi questioningly, but Abi just held out her hand. Bella took it, cautiously, and allowed Abi to pull her into an embrace.

"My people's happiness is that which I strive for most," she said softly into Bella's ear. "I told you I would not marry Jacob if his true feelings laid with you. He is right now completing a ritual that will make him one of our people, and so I will gladly put his happiness above my own. And Bella, his happiness lies with you."

The gravity of what she was saying hit Bella and her mouth dropped open in shock. She didn't even notice that Halona had pressed some fabric into her hands until she looked down and saw she was clutching a deerskin loincloth and shirt.

"Abi…" she started, but then found she couldn't finish.

"You can change in the other room if you prefer," Abi said, gesturing toward the adjoining chamber. Bella walked there as if on autopilot, but once she was inside her knees felt weak and she had to sit down.

She couldn't believe this girl. First, she'd caught Bella about to sleep with her fiancé, and instead of hitting the roof she gave them permission to go for it. Now she was sending Bella in her place, not only to marry him but to spend a week and a half in that cave with nothing to do but… Bella blushed at the thought. Who _was_ this girl? How could anyone be so selfless?

The logical part of Bella's mind rejected this plan. It was crazy. She didn't want to get married, even if it was in some tribal ceremony that was in no way legally binding. But she did want to talk to Jacob- she _needed_ to talk to him. And it had been made pretty clear that she was going to have zero chance to do so. Well, what if this was her chance?

Before she'd even realized that she'd made a decision, she had thrown her shirt and bra to the floor, and had started on the button of her jeans. She hesitated for only a moment before stripping down the rest, standing buck naked in the foyer of Abi's hut. Hurriedly she figured out the ties and straps on the clothing they'd given her, and soon she was wearing a surprisingly comfortable loincloth, which was really just like a bikini bottom with ties, only it had longer pieces at the back and front to cover her modesty more than any bikini would. The shirt was sleeveless and backless, also secured with ties around the neck and back, and it draped to just below her breasts in the front.

With a deep breath, leaving her clothes where they'd fallen, Bella returned to Abi's bedroom, crossing her arms over her body shyly.

"She's as pale as the moon," Halona remarked, putting an arm around Bella's shoulders and smiling at her to show that she wasn't trying to be mean. "But don't worry," she added. "This paint will make you glow like the sun for him."

Abi put her arms around Bella and smiled at her, and Bella could see there were tears in her eyes. "I'm happy for you," she said sincerely. "But I must leave you now. There aren't meant to be observers at these preparations."

She started for the door but Bella called her back, "Wait." Abi stopped, turning around again. Bella struggled to find her words. "I don't… I never meant to…" She trailed off, having no idea how to finish what she wanted to say, or express the gratitude she was feeling at this moment.

Abi's expression was soft with affection. "Bella," she said gently. "This is the will of our Great Mother, and we are but a part of Her plan. You must do this without guilt in your heart, and with the knowledge that this path you are walking is yours alone."

"I will," Bella promised, and Abi left them.

Halona smiled at Bella. "Iniabi is great," she said, dipping her fingers into the paint.

"Yeah," Bella breathed, still not really believing that this was happening. And then she jumped at the first touch of cold paint, as Halona started decorating her body. She worked in silence, and Bella watched, fascinated, as the patterns took root on her skin, creating a portrait out of her flesh for Jacob's eyes.

When Halona had covered Bella's body in curved lines, spanning the length of her, front and back, as well as her limbs, she surveyed her work and nodded in satisfaction. The only parts of Bella that were left unpainted were the palms of her hands, the soles of her feet, and her face, as well as a long strip down the middle of her torso. Halona dipped into the paint again and smoothed it across Bella's lips, turning them pure white, before she dragged a line from her lips all the way down her chest, pulling the shirt up to make sure the line continued unbroken all the way to her bellybutton. Finally, she drew a huge spiral over Bella's lower belly, smiling knowingly at her. "Your lover will have no problem finding his home tonight," she said with a grin.

Bella realized what she meant, and blushed. Halona straightened, rubbing her hands together until the paint dried on them. She said, "It's time." She reached into a wooden chest and withdrew an amazing headdress made of deerskin, capped with a set of small antlers. She put it onto Bella's head, a band of fabric sewn into the inside keeping it in place on top of Bella's hair. Halona adjusted Bella's clothes, making sure everything was perfect, and then she took Bella's hand.

Halona led her out of Abi's hut and into the forest. Bella could hear the sounds of celebration and feasting in the centre of the village, and wondered how the people would feel once they found out it wasn't Abi's marriage they were celebrating. But her concerns faded almost immediately, as she thought about what lay ahead. Soon, they had arrived at the cave, and Halona led her through the narrow passageway and into the chamber. It was lit with firelight, dimmer than the last time she'd been here, but it certainly did set a romantic mood. The bed had been covered in so many animal skins that it seemed much taller than it had been before, and there was a bench set against the far wall, laden with food from the feast. Bella's stomach growled audibly as she looked at all the delicacies laid out.

"You must wait for Jacob," Halona warned her. "You must eat this feast together. He will arrive soon." She positioned Bella at the foot of the bed, standing. "Receive him here. He will be excited from the trials of reaching you, and he will crave your embrace. Don't forget the _nvda agowatiha_. There's a bowl of them there," she said, indicating the bench. Bella nodded, the pounding of her heart so loud she thought it might burst from her chest.

"Thank you," she said quickly to Halona, who seemed to be waiting expectantly. "I think I understand everything."

Halona smiled at her and took her hands, kissing first her left palm, then her right. "Blessings, child," she said. "May you find peace in his arms, and happiness in his touch." Then she left her there alone.

Bella wasn't sure how long she waited for Jacob, but it was agonizing. Finally, she heard the sound of footsteps padding through the narrow passageway leading toward her. Her heart caught in her throat, her breathing quickening, as she held her breath in expectation.

Jacob exited the passageway and stood there for a moment, not moving. Bella took in his appearance with a soft gasp; he looked beautiful, his body shining with colours, his skin wearing a light sheen of either sweat or water, his chest heaving with the exertion of whatever ordeal he'd just been through.

She watched as he walked toward her, and she found herself frozen, unable to speak, just mesmerized by the sight of him and his breath that quickened in pace with her own. Jacob lifted his hand, following the curve of her neck with his fingertips before traveling over her cheek and into her hair to pull off her headdress, which hit the dirt floor with a soft thump. Bella waited, hardly daring to breathe.

"I love you," he whispered.

Her heart fluttered, and then soared. "I love you too, Jake," she whispered back, feeling his fingers alighting on her lower back as he encircled her body with his strong arms. Abruptly he stopped, and pulled his face back enough to look deeply into her eyes, though he didn't remove his hands. He seemed surprised, and it suddenly occurred to her that he might not have recognized her. Her heart sank and she bit her lip, not knowing what to say, not sure if he was going to suddenly be angry or upset or what.

"_Bella?"_ he breathed, the shock evident in his voice.

"Jacob…" she answered him, hesitantly. She had thought his earlier reaction had been directed at her, but now she saw true recognition in his eyes and she realized he was seeing her for the first time.

He said nothing. They were both breathing hard, him from his exertion in the forest with Chay, her from her fear and uncertainty about what he was feeling. His eyes were so dark as he looked at her, so she couldn't even see his pupils as his gaze bored into hers. His hands, which had frozen in the small of her back, tentatively started moving again, sweeping up her sides and then taking her shoulders, his fingers tracing over the white lines that led all the way down to her fingertips.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his mouth slightly open as he took in her body. His hands traveled so lightly up and down her arms that she shivered, despite the fact that the cave was quite warm.

"So are-" she started, but her words were suddenly cut off as Jacob's lips descended on her own, his arms locking around her back. His kisses were needy and so passionate, more passionate than she had remembered, making her head spin with the intensity of his lips against hers. He pulled her as close as he possibly could, holding her around her lower back with one arm while the other reached up to anchor in her hair, keeping her face where he wanted it. The arm that was around her back snaked lower, slipping behind her thighs. She gasped a little into his lips as he hoisted her up in the air, backing her up against the nearest wall as he continued to kiss her.

He was kissing her so insistently and without interruption that she actually started having trouble breathing, but he seemed to have no itention of stopping. She turned her head to the side, gasping, but Jacob's hand was still in her hair, and he used it to wrench her head back to face him. His lips closed over hers again and he used the strength of his hips to pin her to the wall, setting his other hand free to start pulling at the leather cords that held her loincloth in place.

Bella froze; this was way too fast, and not how she'd imagined her first time- or theirs- at all. Now that his hips were pressed up against hers, she could feel how much he wanted her, and she had to admit that his kisses had made her own body more than ready for him. But her mind hesitated, balking at his insistent movements and almost frenzied intensity. She had wanted to talk, and yes of course part of her had thought about this too, but not so fast, and not like this. He had one side of the loincloth undone now and was stroking the soft skin of her hip. Before he could try anything else, Bella pulled away from his lips and caught his hand in her own.

Jacob grinned at her momentarily and she relaxed, but instead of stopping he redoubled his efforts to disrobe her. His hand released her hair only to capture her wrist, holding it prone at her side. His other hand went to work on the strings of her shirt as his lips found hers once more.

A stab of fear entered Bella's heart for the first time. She remembered Halona's warning not to forget the _nvda agowatiha_ berries, and she realizded just how serious Abi had been when she'd explained that Jacob wouldn't be in his right mind. Her eyes flew quickly to the bench of food, seeing the small dish of the berries on one side of it. Somehow she managed to pull back from Jacob's lips once more. Before he could reclaim them as his own she said quickly, "Stop."

At first she wasn't sure he'd heard her, but through the haze of passion that clouded his eyes he gave her a quizzical look. "Stop?" he repeated, his hands frozen for the moment, his breath coming in deep pants.

"Can we just… slow down?" she asked in relief.

Jacob let her sink slowly to the floor, and Bella extracted herself from his arms, immediately missing the warmth of his skin against hers. She walked toward the food bench, hurriedly retying the cords on the side of her loincloth as she did.

From behind her she heard a low growl, and she turned just in time to see Jacob run at her. He scooped her up effortlessly and deposited her flat on her back on the bed, where he immediately covered her body with his own. He gave her a long, deep kiss before abandoning her lips to kiss her chin, the curve of her neck, just between her collarbones, then lower… she realized he was following the line that Halona had painted down her front, and she knew where _that_ led. Bella grabbed his shoulders, and with great effort managed to push him off of her. He caught hold of her waist as he rolled, pulling her with him, and they collapsed together on the floor. He looked up at her almost with reverence, his fingers tracing the spiral that had been painted on her belly, but she could plainly see that his eyes were not completely his own.

"God, you're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, following the contrasting patterns of colours on her body with wide eyes. "I can't believe you're here. I feel like this is a dream..." As he spoke he rolled her so that the soft dirt of the floor cradled her back, but she turned her head quickly to the side as he tried to kiss her. Jacob frowned, and then grabbed her face, forcing it back toward him and leaning in again. Bella knew he wasn't himself, but his strength and passion were scaring her, not to mention how out of it he was. He didn't seem to notice her attempts to slow this down, and those he did notice he seemed to find alluring, like her resistance was a challenge he had to overcome.

She didn't want to have to resort to kneeing him in the groin or something equally unromantic, so she tried a different tactic. As he started to kiss her she returned it with the same level of passion, and then she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his hips, giving his body a firm tug toward the food bench. Jacob obliged her, rolling them in that direction, so she ended up on top of him again. Bella sat up, straddling his hips, and his hands immediately started reaching for her, trying to pull her back down. Quickly she grabbed the bowl of _nvda agowatiha_ and set it down next to them, filling her hand with the small dried berries.

"Eat this," she said, holding them out to him.

He pushed her hand away, grinning. "Bella, I'm really not hungry… not for food anyway."

But she insisted, her voice cracking a little in fear as she said, "Come on… you're always hungry. Please? Just eat this handful and I'll kiss you again, okay?"

Jacob gave her a look like he thought she was crazy, but he obliged, taking her hand and unfolding her fingers, extracting the berries from her palm in the most erotic way he possibly could, sucking their juices from the curves and dips of her hand and between her fingers. Her eyes fluttered closed; she knew Jacob was as much of a virgin as she, but he certainly wasn't acting like it right now. She opened her eyes long enough to see him swallow the berries, and she quickly stood up, going around to the other side of the bench.

He frowned, standing up as well. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she answered. "I just think we should wait a minute. Have some tea," she added, gesturing to the cistern set up next to the bench which she knew would be filled with sweet tea to help wash down their food.

"I don't want any tea," he said, approaching her. She felt like an idiot, but she hurried around the bench, placing it as a physical barrier between them. He grinned. "I want you," he said, grabbing the bench and toppling it. The food and dishes tumbled onto the floor as he took a step over the bench and closed his hand over her upper arm. She took a step back, but she hit the wall of the cave and realized she had nowhere to go.

Jacob leaned in and kissed just under her ear, then he nipped gently at the skin of her neck, a line of tiny bites that led from her ear to her shoulder. He didn't bite hard enough to hurt her, but each one sent an electric shock through her body. Meanwhile he had released her arm, and his hands were now roving over her stomach and back; soon they were attacking the strings of her shirt again. She reached up and grabbed his hands and he stopped in surprise.

"Don't you want this?" he asked, the confusion evident in his voice. There was obvious hurt in his eyes now.

"Yes, but first… can you just do me one favour? Please, Jake? For me?" She bit her lip nervously as their eyes locked once more. She thought she saw a little more reason in his gaze now, and she hoped she wasn't imagining it.

After a long moment he said quietly, "For you, Bella, anything."

"Can we just… um… stand here for a minute? Can you just hold me? I mean, without trying to take off my clothes or kissing me or anything. Just hold me right here… can we try that?"

He let out a low rumble of frustration in the back of his throat but after a moment of thought he nodded. His arms wrapped around her, holding her more gently than before. "Alright, Bella," he said softly as he tucked her head under his chin. "If that's what you want… but you know you're torturing me."

"I know," she said softly.

They stood there for a long time, longer than she had expected him to give her. In fact, he stood there so long without making a move on her that she started to worry he might be angry. She pulled her head back enough that she could look at him, but Jacob avoided her gaze. He let her go, walking to the bed and sitting down on it, still not looking at her.

Slowly Bella went and sat next to him. "Jake?" she asked hesitantly.

Finally, he looked at her, and he was her Jacob again, his eyes clear and normal once more. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Don't," she said quickly, taking his hands. "Don't be sorry. It's my fault. I was supposed to give you those berries right away but I forgot."

"As if I would have let you," he bit out, pulling his hands away and dropping his head into them. "I almost-"

"No," she said again, cutting him off. "No, you didn't." She turned his face so he could look into her eyes and see that she meant it.

"Did I hurt you?" he whispered. Bella shook her head. Jacob took in the paint on her body and her clothing as though seeing it for the first time. "You look stunning..." He smiled a little. "For a paleface, anyway."

"Right," she said with a laugh. "Thanks." She touched his own paint, tracing the little arrows that ran down his arm. "I like yours too." For the first time she noticed a line of dried blood on his chest, and she realized it was the remnants of a wide cut that had spanned almost the entire length of his left pectoral muscle. "Jake, you're hurt!" she cried.

He looked at it also and seemed surprised to see the blood, but he shrugged. "It's fine," he said. "Part of the ritual. I've already healed up."

"I thought you said he wasn't going to hurt you," Bella said with a frown. Jacob shrugged again, looking almost sheepish. Then he turned serious again and he reached out, cradling the side of her face in his hand. He started to lean in for a kiss and her eyes fluttered closed in anticipation, but when it didn't come she opened them again and saw that he was hesitating, doubting himself.

"I… is it okay if…" he said hesitantly, and her heart sank. She didn't want him to feel like this, guilty and uncertain. So she said nothing in response, she just grabbed his face with both her hands and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss as she plunged her tongue into his mouth to find his. They both sighed as the kiss melted them into each other, and Jacob's arms wrapped around her gently, pulling her into his lap.

This time when his hands started to loosen the ties on her shirt, she let him, smiling at him in encouragement. She hadn't been planning for things to go this way, but it seemed so right, and she didn't even want to try to fight it. He pulled the shirt from her body and threw it to the floor, where it was immediately forgotten. His eyes were incredibly dark, and wide as he tentatively raised his hands to cover her breasts. She saw the wonder in his eyes as her nipples hardened under his touch, and she bit her lip, not out of nervousness now but out of the amazing sensations his soft warm hands were bringing to her body. He was dropping kisses all over her face, and it was hard for her to form any words, or even thoughts, at this point. Eventually he returned to her lips, and she managed to breathe, which reminded her to speak. "Jake," she said, putting a hand flat on his chest to stop him from going further. Their hot breath mingled together in the space between their bodies.

"What is it?" he asked, stroking her back and sides with his hands, obviously wanting less talk and more action.

"I just want to say…" She struggled for words, but barreled on, "That I've been awful to you. I've been so selfish, Jake. I took you for granted and I never meant to hurt you so much. I just-"

Jacob covered her lips with his own, stopping her from saying anything further. After a long, deep kiss, he pulled back just far enough to press his forehead into hers. "Bella," he whispered. "I'm in love with you, and you'd have to do a lot more for that to change. But… I want us to let all our worries and pains go, at least until tomorrow. I don't want to think about the past, I don't want to think about the future, I don't even want to talk about how you got here… not now. I just want to trust that this is right. What happened earlier today… that's gone now. And what will happen tomorrow, I don't know… but right here, right now… I just want to love you, Bella. And no matter what else happens, I'm going to love you for the rest of your life."

She felt tears gathering in her eyes and she threw her arms around him, but she didn't cry and ruin the moment. She was amazed at how much he loved her, but even more amazing was how much she loved him back, and how ludicrous she had been to fight it for so long. His strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. "You'd better mean that," she said softly, her hands tracing the muscles of his back as he dropped kisses onto her shoulder. "Because I'm planning to live for a long, long time."

She felt him grin against the curve of her neck and then he pulled back, kissing her tenderly. She felt herself melting for him as he gently leaned her back on the bed, cradling her body against the soft bearskin beneath her. As he continued to kiss her, his right hand dragged up her side and took hold of her breast, and she let out a soft sigh. He released her lips and leaned down, capturing the nipple of her other breast between his teeth and giving it a gentle pinch. Bella hissed in her breath, her hands tangling in his hair as the electricity of what he was doing to her shot through her body. She was hardly able to believe how long she had made herself wait for this. Her eyes fluttered closed, and finally all she could do was hold him and sink into his body, as he in turn sunk into hers. Nothing had ever felt so right.


	16. Chapter 16

Bella woke up ravenous, but she didn't want to move. Awareness returned slowly, her mind foggy with sleepiness. She stretched her legs a little, straightening her toes, and felt Jacob's feet intertwined with her own. She scooted her feet back between his ankles, smiling. She could feel his whole body pressed alongside her own, from her feet to her head, which was resting in the crook of his muscular right arm. Her left hand had reached back in her sleep to hold his hip so he couldn't escape her, and her right hand was intertwined with his. Though they hadn't had a chance to even pull the animal skins over themselves after finally falling into exhausted sleep the night before, between the alcove fires and his perpetually warm body, she had been cozy all night.

She laid there for a long time, keeping her eyes closed, just enjoying the feeling of his warm his body next to hers. His left arm was draped over her stomach and she blushed a little as she realized his hand was gently cupping her breast as he slept. Still, after everything that had happened the night before, she should hardly be blushing at something so chaste as that. Bella still had trouble believing that last night could have possibly been as amazing as it was, but Jacob was an exceptional lover. He had taken his time with her, despite how overcome with passion they had both been, and had made sure she had experienced as much pleasure in his arms as he had in hers. By the time their bodies joined she was overcome with anticipation, and yet the amazing feeling of being connected to him still defied all her expectations. Even now, the memories of those moments set her skin on fire.

Bella finally opened her eyes again, admitting to herself that she wasn't going to fall back to sleep, no matter how comfortable she might be in Jacob's arms. Gingerly she took the hand that was wrapped around her chest and lifted it, crawling as gracefully as she could from under it. However, being that Bella was not a graceful person, so she ended up misjudging the distance from him to the edge of the bed, and fell off the wooden platform, hitting the dirt floor of the cave with a gentle thud.

Jacob sat bolt upright, searching the room for the source of the sound, and he caught sight of Bella. The creases of worry evaporated from his forehead as he grinned at her. "Hey," he said in amusement. "Am I radioactive or something?"

Bella righted herself, standing and brushing the dirt off her naked body, her face flaming with embarrassment. Jacob reached out and stopped her, toppling her back onto the bed with a flick of his wrist. He was so strong, and yet nothing about him made her afraid, because she knew he would never use that strength to hurt her. "I don't mind you being dirty," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her as he pulled her close to his chest, propping himself up on an arm to gaze at her. He smoothed the hair back from her face and kissed her gently, with none of the hurry from the night before, but still somehow with all of the passion.

"Yeah well I thought I'd get something to eat since I'm starving," she said, smirking up at him. She gestured at the food bench, which someone had put right and refilled sometime during the night. Jacob turned and looked, and she heard a loud grumble from the direction of his belly.

He heard it too, and smiled sheepishly. "Hmmm… okay, I guess today l can put my stomach before my other ravenous needs- for a little while anyway," he said with a wink before kissing her once more, long and deep, as though it would be hours before they would taste each other's lips again. He grabbed a bearskin and wrapped it around her body, tucking it around her shoulders, and then went to the bench. She watched him as he moved around it, grabbing things from almost every dish and loading it all onto a big wooden plate. His body was so beautiful… much of the paint that had adorned them both when he'd first arrived in the cave the night before had flaked off, and there were dustings of white, red, black, and yellow all over the bed and mixed with the dirt on the floor. She loved how he moved, and how at ease he was in his body, seeming to have absolutely no embarrassment about his nudity, while she still felt shy despite the fact that he'd seen it all the night before.

Jacob returned to the bed, setting the plate down between them as he pulled a bearskin of his own onto his lap, more for modesty than warmth. "Dig in," he said, but she was already reaching for the food. Her stomach growled loudly in anticipation as she popped berries, fruits, nuts, meats, and vegetables into her mouth one after the other, each thing more delicious than the last. They ate in silence for a while, just enjoying the food, so it took some time before Bella realized that Jacob was staring at her.

She blushed. "What?"

He gave her a little smile. "Nothing, I was just thinking something." He played with the rim of the wooden cup he held, its contents full of sweet tea. She noticed this cup was different than the others, intricately carved in patterns and its wood had been darkened with oil.

"What?" she asked again.

"If we had both drunk from this cup last night, we'd be married now."

Bella gazed at the cup for a moment, then back at him. She couldn't read his expression. "Is that… what you want?" she asked hesitantly.

He sighed. "No. I know it wouldn't mean anything to you. I was just thinking… how different this turned out to be."

"Are you disappointed?" she asked softly, wondering if he was thinking of Abi right now, wishing she was here instead of Bella.

Jacob set the cup down carefully on the ground beside the bed and scooted closer to her, putting an arm around her. Bella let him pull her close as he whispered, "No, I'm not disappointed… not for a second."

"Are you mad at me?"

He didn't answer her for a long moment, but then finally he let out another sigh and said, "No. I'm afraid."

"You are?" she asked, surprised, looking up at him. He smoothed the hair back from her face and nodded. "Of what?"

"That this is a dream," he answered quietly. "That everything will change once we go home. That I'll lose everything."

She didn't quite know what to say. Her automatic response would be to tell him that wouldn't happen, but she wasn't Mitsis or Alice- she didn't know what the future would bring and she couldn't lie to him. The truth was, she was scared that she would fail him, too. She doubted her ability to resist Edward's charms... but she wanted to resist them. "I want to be with you," she said honestly.

Jacob tipped her chin up and kissed her deeply, threading the fingers of one hand through her hair as his other hand removed the plate of food from the bed. He pulled the bearskin from her body and laid her back on it, then let his own drape around them as he covered her body with his, pressing kisses to every inch of her face and neck before his lips drifted lower. Bella's hands tangled in his hair, then when she couldn't get a good enough grip there, she held his muscular shoulders as he pulled her closer than she had ever been to another human being... besides last night, anyway. They made love slowly this time, not like last night when things had been so passionate and intense. This was different- not better, but singularly unique, and it made her realize just how many ways they had yet to discover about how to touch one another.

* * *

Afterward, she dozed in Jacob's warm embrace, hardly able to keep her eyes open despite how deeply she had slept the night before. Jacob slept as well, his arms wrapped around her, cradling her against his side as his chest rose and fell in soft breaths. Eventually Bella found she couldn't sleep, so she just watched him. She had always felt strange about Jacob's crush on her, given that she was older than him and they had known each other as children. She had thought it would be impossible to see him as a man when she knew he was that little boy she had played childish games with with, but it wasn't. If anything, it just made her feel closer to him, as if they were soul mates from childhood, a romantic storybook, soft with age.

When he woke up she told him, "You know we can't stay here for ten days."

"Who says?" he asked, grinning at her and rolling over, leaning up on one arm as his hand stroked up and down her belly.

"Well… Charlie, probably, for one," she said with a little smirk, trying to ignore his hand, but it kept making her shiver. Her nipples were gathering into little pleated peaks and he noticed, hovering his palm over first one and then the other. They strained toward the warmth of his hand and she giggled, shoving him away. "That hurts," she said, covering them with her hands.

"But they're so beautiful," he answered, kissing her. "You're so beautiful. I never want to hurt you."

She put his hand on his chest, stopping him before he started them on another tangent, since her body was still recovering from the last one.

He heaved a dramatic sigh but said, "Okay. We can't stay ten days."

"No," she agreed. "Besides, my dad has long since found out we aren't on any fishing trip."

"Yeah," Jacob agreed. "I bet he's pretty mad at my dad right now."

"Not to mention at us," Bella said. "We have to go home." She was surprised when her eyes filled with tears as she said it.

"Bella," he said softly, brushing at her eyelashes gently with the pads of his thumbs. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she admitted, glancing away in embarrassment. "I guess I like it here. And I'm never going to see any of these people again, am I?"

He shook his head. "I doubt it," he admitted. "I doubt I will either… Abi will have to find someone else to marry now."

"Maybe you should hook her up with Quil or Embry," Bella joked, making them both burst out laughing.

"God, can you imagine?" he asked. "Quil would insist on being called 'King Quil the Mighty' or something just as ridiculous and Embry would probably fall all over himself to get into this cave with her and then spend the whole ten days pulling her hair and acting like a five-year-old out of shyness."

"Shy?" Bella asked, laughing. "Do we know the same Embry?"

"Yeah, well, you haven't really seen him with girls," Jacob pointed out. "He can be a pretty big softie… you should see how he takes his mom yelling at him every day for 'sneaking out.' He just stands there."

"No boost in confidence even now that he's a big bad wolf?" she teased.

"Hey, we can't all turn into buff guys that are 'kinda beautiful,'" he teased back.

She giggled. "Still, it sucks… that his mom doesn't know, I mean. That must be hard."

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, well, he's as serious as Sam about keeping it a secret, so it's sort of his choice."

"What about his dad? Is he in on it at least like all of your dads?"

Jacob hesitated. "Embry… doesn't know who his father is."

"Oh." Bella smiled awkwardly. "Sorry."

"It's one of ours," Jacob answered.

"What?"

"One of our dads. It has to be. His mom isn't Quileute. And all our dads were married at the time."

"Oh… Jake… I had no idea…" She pictured Embry's face in her mind, trying to figure out if he looked like Jake, or any of them, but she wasn't sure.

Jacob shrugged uncomfortably. "We try not to think about it. Or we try to assume it was Sam's dad, because he's a bit less of a family man if you get my drift."

"Right," Bella said, wishing she hadn't brought this up since it obviously bothered Jacob. It must have been weird for them to be so close to Embry and know that was the half-brother of one of them. "So… home?" she asked.

Jacob seemed grateful for the subject change. "Home," he agreed. "Who knows what Edward might have told Charlie by now, anyway."

Bella hadn't thought of that. "Oh…" she trailed off, imagining the possibilities, but then slowly shook her head. "I don't think he'd do that."

"Well, you have more faith in him than me," Jacob answered with a smile that was only a little tight. He took her hand and kissed the back of it, then stood, finding his pants and pulling them on before heading for the passage. "I'm going to see what time it is," he tossed over his shoulder as he disappeared from view.

Bella lay in the warmth of the bed, burying herself in so many skins that only her face was visible. Jacob grinned at her when he returned. "Are you my present?" he asked, kicking off his pants and jumping onto the bed again. "Do I get to unwrap you?"

She laughed as he made a big show of trying to find her nude body amongst all the textures of fur and hair and leather that surrounded her. Finally he uncovered her and they both became serious as she reached for him, pulling him close to her once more, her body ready for him again.

* * *

This time they slept for a few hours, and when Bella awoke the food bench had again been refilled. She was over the embarrassment of imagining who was coming in here and seeing them naked in each other's arms; she was too hungry to care. She dug in, and the sounds of her enjoying the meal soon roused Jacob as well. As though he was afraid there wouldn't be enough, he dug in with abandon- or maybe their activities had made him just that hungry.

"What time was it, anyway?" she asked between bites of a delicious unknown fruit that had been wrapped in venison meat.

"What?" he asked distractedly, the word barely intelligible around all the food in his mouth.

She made a face at him but clarified, "Earlier, when you went out? What time was it?"

"Oh, it was early," he said. "Now it's probably afternoon."

"Jacob…" she said hesitantly. "We should go."

"I know," he answered softly. "But can you blame me for wanting to stay here as long as possible?"

"No," she answered, shaking her head. "It's like another world."

"Like our own world," he agreed. He stood and grabbed a cup from the table, dipping it into the cistern, but it came back dry. "Hey, they forgot to refill it," he said, the disappointment obvious in his voice. "And I ate something spicy." He turned back to Bella, frowning, and she had to laugh because he looked like such a little boy at that moment. Then his face brightened as he spotted a cup on the floor next to the bed and grabbed it, gulping down the sweet tea.

Bella had just bit into something spicy herself, and she swallowed quickly so she could protest, "Hey! If that's all we've got you'd better leave some for me!"

Jacob stopped drinking, letting out a dramatic sigh before sitting down next to her again and handing her the cup. There was maybe one mouthful left. She tossed him a pretend glare but drank it, the cool tea soothing the burn in her mouth. She felt a pattern of ridges under her fingers and looked, marveling at the intricate designs that covered every inch of the cup.

Suddenly, she froze. Her hand clapped over her mouth and she flung the cup across the room as though it was on fire, leaping from the bed at the same moment. Jacob jumped up as well.

"What is it?" he asked, looking at her as though he expected her to pull her hand away and be injured or something. "Are you okay? Bella?"

"Oh my God!" she cried, shoving him in the chest, catching him by surprise and throwing him off-balance. "Jacob, that was that _marriage_ cup you showed me last night! You know, the one that if we both drank from it, we'd be _married!"_

Jacob's eyes widened a little and he glanced in the direction of the cup as though he didn't quite believe her, then back to her again. He looked at her expression… and burst out laughing.

Bella burst out laughing as well. "This is not funny!" she yelled through her giggles.

"Oh no, it's completely funny," he protested. "I guess I was wrong when I said it wouldn't mean anything to you. You should see your face, Bella!" He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close. "You know what you are?" he teased. "You're my wife."

She laughed. "Yeah, in some random Canadian town from the Stone Age that probably isn't even on a map," she answered nervously.

He got a little more serious, holding her, his fingers stroking over the skin of her lower back. "Bella," he said softly. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

"I know. I just… didn't mean for that to happen."

"Neither did I," he promised. "It's just one more special thing we shared in a special place that's nobody's business but our own."

She eyed him suspiciously, but he seemed completely sincere. "Well… alright," she said. "But I don't want to hear any of this husband/wife stuff out of you. And _please_ no telling your friends- they'll make fun of us."

"Can't promise that," he admitted. "I can't always control what they get out of my head."

"Well, promise you'll try," she said with a groan.

He kissed her deeply, not pulling back until they were both gasping. "I promise," he whispered. "But Bella…" He hesitated.

"What is it?"

"It's stupid," he said, blushing a little as he glanced away.

"No, come on, what is it?"

He looked back at her, narrowing his eyes for a moment as though trying to decide whether she was going to make fun of him or not. Finally he said shyly, "Can we make love once more before we go? I mean, as…"

She didn't know what he was getting at for a moment, and then she blushed deep crimson. "What, as husband and wife?" she asked, chewing on her lower lip nervously.

"Yeah," he said, glancing away. "Nevermind. It's stupid." He started to pull away from her.

"No, wait," she said quickly, grabbing his arms and holding him in place. "I'm sorry. I just… didn't expect that."

"Forget it," he said, obviously embarrassed. "I just thought…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

"What?" she prompted.

He let out a frustrated breath but said, "I just thought… that if this really was our own special place… I don't know, like outside of time or something… then we could be married. Just for an hour. Just to see."

"See what?" she asked softly.

"See… what it feels like to be married to you, Bella," he answered quietly with a sheepish shrug, not meeting her eyes. "What else?"

"Do you think it would be different?" she asked curiously.

He looked at her. "I think it would... feel different… for me." Quickly he added, "But if you're not into it, I get it. Really."

She bit her lip, not saying anything for a long moment. It felt a bit weird to her, but at the same time she sort of got what he was saying. She smiled softly at him. "Well… why don't you kiss me?" she asked softly. "And I'll see if I'm into it or not?"

Jacob hesitated for only a moment before he cradled the side of her face in his hand and covered her mouth with his own, his lips moving against hers as their tongues found each other gently, then more intensely as their passion built. It wasn't long before they ended up in bed for the third time in one day.

* * *

"Okay, now we _really_ have to go home," Bella said afterward, feeling Jacob grin against the top of her head where he held her close. A thin sheen of sweat covered their bodies, and one of his hands dragged absently up and down her back. In turn, her fingers traced meaningless patterns across the skin of his chest and stomach.

He heaved a dramatic sigh. "I guess you're right," he said. "But I have no idea how to get there."

She giggled, and then made a face. "Yeah, I was afraid of that," she said. "How awkward is it going to be to get escorted back?"

"Yeah, especially if it's Veyo, right?" he asked, reading her mind.

"You know, he's in love with Abi," she said. "Maybe it's him she should be marrying." He looked at her in surprise and she smirked. "That's right, I've been having my own adventures this week, too."

He chuckled. "Hmm…" he said. "Well, he lives here, Bella. Don't you think they would have gotten together by now if it was that simple?"

She shrugged. "I don't know… maybe he never told her."

Jacob raised an eyebrow at her. "Haven't you noticed that nothing really gets by that girl?"

"Oh yeah," Bella answered dryly. "I've noticed."

He smiled at her, but he looked like he wanted to ask her something. Finally he said, "She doesn't need us to fix her up with anyone, Bella. She's made her choice… I assume that's why you're here?"

She'd been wondering when he was going to get to that. Slowly she nodded. "Yeah," she said. "I didn't… like… bonk her over the head and paint myself up or anything."

Jacob chuckled at the idea. He smoothed the backs of his fingers down Bella's cheek. "Well… I'm glad she put you in her place."

"I feel guilty," Bella admitted.

"So do I," Jacob answered. "But I don't think we need to. I'm sure she knew what she was doing."

"She said she couldn't marry you… knowing you loved me."

Jacob smiled, a little sadly. "Then it's my fault, I guess," he said with a small laugh, but she could tell he was only half-joking.

"No," Bella answered, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze. "You're right. She made her choice. I can't believe it was this one… but she made it."

"Abi's pretty surprising," Jacob said quietly. He shook his head. "She sure surprised me… I never expected you to be in here. Mitsis even gave me a prophecy… I wonder if she knew about the switch. They say she's never wrong."

"What was it?" Bella asked curiously.

"I don't remember it word for word… I was a bit out of it by then," he said sheepishly. He thought for a moment. "She basically said... that my wife would welcome me and we would have lots of sex..." Bella laughed and gave him a shove but he went on, "No, really, she just used fancier words… anyway, that we would have lots of sex, and that everything I doubted or was confused about would suddenly become clear. That I would know what I wanted out of life and feel peaceful, and that…" He struggled to remember. "That I would give myself to something bigger than me." He shrugged. "But I thought all that was her talking about Abi, and this place."

"Well…" Bella trailed off, thinking. "Technically… by their laws at least… I am your wife… and I did welcome you. And we did have lots of sex." She blushed. "But what about the other part? Do you feel… peaceful?"

Slowly he nodded. "Yeah, I do," he said. "My priorities _are_ clearer. You, you, and more you." Bella giggled but he added seriously, "And the pack. I feel like I've learned to embrace what I am, and not hate it so much. The people here are so happy to be wolves, it's got this whole spirituality and reverence that I never thought about before. I was too busy being angry about how it had changed my life... I never thought about how that change might be for the best."

"And what about giving yourself to something bigger than you?" she asked gently.

"I don't know… maybe she meant love?" he guessed.

"Maybe," Bella said. "Or maybe that part hasn't come true yet."

"In any case," Jacob answered with a smile, reaching for her and pulling her close. "You are the peace that makes everything clear."

He was so sweet, and she couldn't help but reach for the back of his head, pulling him to her lips to give him a deep kiss. Jacob's eyes closed as their lips met, drinking her in, his hands wandering under the piles of fabric to tease the skin of her stomach. She sighed her encouragement and his hand slid lower.

"We have to go home sometime soon…" she said, biting her lip as he took hold of her breast with his mouth, teasing the nipple gently with his tongue.

"Mm-hmm," he murmured against her soft skin, pulling back for a moment to add, "Maybe later."

"Maybe later," she agreed softly, grabbing for his head and pulling him back to her lips, wrapping her legs around his hips to pull him close.

Forks would still be there in the morning…


	17. Chapter 17

It was late evening when they finally got out of bed again. After another full meal, Bella felt they couldn't stall any longer. As much as she wanted to spend another night with Jacob here in their perfect little world, she knew they couldn't do that. She had told Jacob she was confident that Edward wouldn't have said anything to Charlie, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense that he would. Edward might not seek Charlie out, but Charlie might at least ask him if he'd heard from her, and then how would he respond? Not knowing made her feel antsy. As much fun as she and Jacob were having in the cave, she knew they would eventually have to emerge from it. And that moment was going to have to be now.

Jacob reached under the bed and pulled out a pile of clothes. Surprised, Bella realized they were her own clothes, as well as some modern clothing for Jacob, since he'd destroyed his own during his fight with Veyo the first time they'd been here together. The bright colours looked weird and out of place in his hands as he handed her clothes to her. "I noticed them yesterday," he said sheepishly. "But I didn't want to go yet, so I hid them."

Bella laughed. "Nice," she said, taking them from him. Suddenly shy, she turned her back to him and started to dress.

"I like you bashful," he said from behind her, his voice warm. When she'd finished dressing she turned back and saw that he had slipped on the jeans, socks, and shoes they'd given him and was just pulling on his shirt. She went around to his side of the bed as he stood and he opened his arms to her. She stepped into his embrace, smiling as he kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Bella," he said softly.

"I love you too, Jake," she answered, her voice equally soft. They stood there for a long time, both of them equally reluctant to leave this warm, cozy place that was now so sentimental to both of them. But finally they had to. Jacob took her hand and they stepped into the passageway; Bella had a feeling of dread that Veyo or someone else would be outside guarding them like before, but when they emerged into the evening air, they were alone.

"This place is so beautiful," Bella said, gazing at the trees as they swayed gently back and forth in a light breeze. The sun had already dipped behind the mountains, and the sky was rapidly darkening.

"I know," he answered softly. "Though it's got nothing on you, Bella" She made a fake barfing sound and he laughed, nudging her with his shoulder. They started back toward the village, hand in hand, and Bella started to get very nervous about what kind of reception they'd get. Would people be angry that Abi hadn't gotten married? Or would they accept Abi's decision because she was their queen and they admired her so much? Would she now be faced with a village full of Veyos, all hating her? She was scared of that prospect, but Jacob's hand in hers made her feel brave.

She heard the crackle of fires up ahead and focused on keeping her breathing calm, though she could feel herself starting to panic. Her hands were shaking.

"You're freezing," Jacob remarked, putting his arm around her.

"No," she said, pulling away from him. "Um… maybe we shouldn't…"

"Bella," he said, halting their steps for a moment. "I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm not ashamed of this, even if not everyone accepts it." He took her hand and held it tightly again, and Bella couldn't help but smile a little. She loved his confidence, his self-assurance. For someone as nervous and awkward as she was, it was hard not to admire those traits in him.

As soon as they entered the village, they were met with stares from all sides. Bella thought they were more curious than angry, but maybe that was just her hope talking.

To her massive relief, the first person that approached them was Mitsis, but Bella was surprised to take in her face for the first time without a smile on it. "What are you doing outside the cave?" she asked quickly as she reached them.

"We have to go home," Bella started to explain.

"No, you must stay for the full ten days."

"We can't," Jacob said. "Bella has to get back to her father… he'll be really worried by now and she's already going to be in a lot of trouble."

Mitsis frowned. "Our traditions are very specific," she told them. "Five days for grieving, ten for love. Twice the days for love ensures a successful marriage, happiness, and children. Less than that…" She trailed off, shrugging, as though no one had ever deviated from this plan before and she didn't know what it would mean.

Jacob and Bella exchanged a glance and Bella said quietly, "Um… we'll take our chances. Sorry, Mitsis. I have to go home."

"Very well," Mitsis answered, still frowning. But she forced it away and reached up both her hands; one landed on Bella's cheek, one on Jacob's. Mitsis's eyes flitted back and forth between them and then she dropped her hands, smiling. "Very well," she said again, much more cheerful this time. "Come, you must be hungry."

"Actually, we're stuffed," Bella admitted. "You guys have sure been feeding us well."

"Speak for yourself, I'm starving," Jacob said, despite the fact that they had eaten a full meal less than an hour ago. Bella giggled at him as he followed Mitsis to the communal food bench. She didn't want to be left alone.

As the three of them sat down, Mitsis with a modest plate of food and Jacob's piled high, and Bella heard whispers from all sides. She found herself blushing, but she tried to take a page from Jacob's book and ignore them. She had just managed to really do so when suddenly all the voices grew silent. Bella followed the gaze of the people around her and saw Abi, Veyo, Halona, and Chay walking in a small group together toward the feast. Bella jumped as Jacob's fingers suddenly intertwined with hers and squeezed; she squeezed back.

Halona and Chay broke away from the others, but Abi headed right for them, Veyo in tow. Mitsis stood as they approached, and spoke to them in their own language. Abi nodded a couple of times, and then Mitsis smiled at Bella and walked away. Abi took her place, and Veyo stood nearby, obviously not terribly pleased to be there.

"Mitsis tells me you wish to go home early," Abi said.

"Yeah," Bella answered. "I'm worried about my dad… he's probably pretty mad at me for being gone so long already, so as much as we'd like to stay… we really can't."

Abi nodded. "I understand. Veyo will be happy to take you."

He didn't look particularly happy, but he nodded and said, "We'll leave as soon as we've eaten." Then he moved away from them, loading up his own plate with enough food to rival Jacob's.

Abi smiled after him and then turned back to Bella and Jacob. "Before you leave, I'd like to formally announce your departure if that's all right."

Bella squirmed. "Um… maybe it's better if we keep a low profile? I mean, you're supposed to be the one who got married…"

"It's not as if I kept it a secret," Abi answered with a shrug. "Everyone knows it was the two of you who wed instead. They understand my reasons. There's no ill will for you here, Bella."

"But…" She wanted to protest further, but she didn't know how.  
"Abi," Jacob spoke up quietly. "We'll respect your wishes, of course."

"Thank you, Jacob," she said warmly, reaching out for a moment to touch his cheek. The sadness in his eyes as he gazed at her made Bella uncomfortable, but she understood why.

"After you've eaten, I'll make the announcement," she said.

"I'm almost done," Jacob answered with a nod, and Bella couldn't help but marvel at how quickly he had emptied his plate; most of the food was gone now.

Bella sat there for a long moment of uncertain silence, as Abi quietly took a seat next to her and proceeded to wait for Jacob to finish. Bella hardly knew what to say. She felt so guilty and grateful to this girl at the same time, and she didn't want to leave this place without Abi knowing that. But finding the right words seemed almost impossible, and this would likely be the last time she would ever see her.

When Abi noticed that Jacob's plate was nearly empty, she started to stand, but Bella shot a hand out, grabbing her arm to keep her from rising. Abi looked at her in surprise, her eyes full of questions, and Bella knew she would have to say something now, even though she still didn't know what. "Um," she started. "I… Abi… what you did for me… it…"

Abi smiled at her, and touched her cheek lightly with the palm of her hand. "Bella, you don't have to say a word," she said. "Everything that needed to be said was said before you underwent the bridal preparations."

"But you gave me everything that was supposed to be yours… and I gave you nothing. You were supposed to have a husband… a daughter."

"And I will have those things someday," Abi answered gently. "You didn't steal anything from me, Bella. And I didn't give anything to you either." At Bella's incredulous look she sighed. "You still don't understand, do you? The paths we walk in life have many branches, and every turn we take will remove us further and further from paths we might have walked. There is no value in wishing to return to those moments and make a different choice, or walk a different path. It isn't possible. The choices that really matter will come up again, at another time. It doesn't mean that what might have been wouldn't have been wonderful. But destiny is not a single trail through life that you can falter from once and never reclaim. It's a living labyrinth, always shifting. Don't dwell so much on the things that might have been different, Bella. There's no sadness in changed plans. What would have been is this instead- it's that simple, that innocent. There is no need for blame, or for regret. Turn your eyes forward. There is still so much to see in the world."

Bella couldn't say anything in response; the wisdom contained in this girl who wore a face as young as Jacob's was humbling. With a warm smile, Abi stood and walked to one side of the crowd, raising her arms to get everyone's attention. The silence was immediate.

"This week, we welcomed Jacob Black of the Quileute into our community," she said, her voice ringing out clearly so everyone could hear. "Last night, he underwent the trials that make him one of our people, and as his reward he was joined to the woman he loves. Today, they return home, but they will never leave our hearts. Jacob will always be our brother, and he and his family will always have a home among our people. The Quileute people are our siblings, our ancestors, and our descendants. We owe them our history, and our futures are inseparable. As long as the Quileute continue to hear the call of the wolf in their souls, we will be one. So, Jacob, though you leave this place now to return to the land of your birth, you will not forget us. And we will certainly never forget you."

Abi held out her hand, beckoning, and at first Bella hung back as Jacob stood and approached her, but then it was clear that Abi wanted her to come as well. Quickly she hurried over, and she and Jacob stood facing Abi and the community. With a smile, Abi placed one hand on the tops of each of their heads. She held her palms there for a long moment, blessing them and affirming their place in this community forever. Belatedly, Bella realized that these people would see her as a member of Jacob's family, so even she, too, would be welcomed back here. Though she wasn't sure she would ever return, the knowledge that she _could_ was comforting.

Finally, Abi removed her hands from their heads, and pulled them both into an embrace. "May our Great Mother protect you in your journey, and bring you joy for as long as your paths are one," she whispered to both of them before releasing them. Bella noticed Veyo standing close by, and he indicated with a slight incline of his chin that they should follow him before he started moving off toward the tree line.

Jacob's hand found Bella's and squeezed, and Bella found herself unable to stop her tears as she took her last glimpse back at the village and its people, who waved them off and called out their wishes for good luck. Jacob put an arm around her to comfort her, but one glance at his face told her he was feeling the same things as she was. Even though she knew they had already stayed far too long, it was hard to be going home after everything that had happened here, and all the emotion she felt for this place. Still, she forced herself to put one foot in front of the other. She felt nothing but dread for the arduous journey that lay ahead, and whatever waited for her at home wouldn't be much better- she wondered just how angry Charlie would be, and what Edward might have been up to since they had last spoken.

Veyo seemed content to allow Bella and Jacob to follow him at a bit of a distance, talking. He didn't seem interested in joining their conversation, and Bella thought that was probably for the best. She didn't quite know how to talk to him, as she was still carrying guilt from the way she'd taken out her anger on him earlier and mocked him for being in love with Abi. Now she regretted her words, but she had no idea how to take them back without making both of them much more uncomfortable than they already were with each other.

"I'll come with you," Jacob was saying. "With Charlie. It's as much my fault that you ran off as it is yours."

She smiled at him, giving his hand a squeeze where he held it in his. "Don't you want to go home and tell your dad that you're back?"

He smiled, shrugging a little. "He thought I was leaving for good," he pointed out. "He can wait an extra hour or two."

"I just wish we didn't have to walk the whole way," Bella groaned, but then she gave him a wry smile. "Well, I guess if I wasn't here you and Veyo could just turn into wolves and run home in about five minutes, couldn't you?"

"Yeah," Jacob answered simply, making her giggle. He stopped walking long enough to take her face in his hands and kiss her. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist as his tongue gingerly parted her lips and tangled with her own. She sighed softly.

Veyo gave them longer than she would have thought before he cleared his throat loudly from up ahead. As Jacob pulled back from Bella's lips she saw Veyo glaring at them from across the small clearing in the woods where Jacob had paused. "Are you finished?" he asked, obviously irritated.

Jacob's jaw tightened for a moment, and then he put his arm around Bella and kept walking. "For now," Jacob said with a little smile down at Bella, as Veyo resumed walking a little ways in front of them. She smiled back at him; even Veyo's sour mood couldn't ruin the happy flutters she got in her heart whenever Jacob gave her just one loving glance.

"In about an hour we can pick up a car," Veyo tossed over his shoulder.

"Great," Bella answered, the relief obvious in her voice. As lovely as walking through the lush, fragrant forest was, her feet weren't enjoying it, and just a she had on the way over, she had to rely on Jacob to keep her from injuring herself as she tripped, fell, and stumbled her way through the woods. A car sounded like heaven right now.

"You know, once we get over the border, I know the way," Jacob spoke up. "I can drive us home."

"That's the plan," Veyo said, not turning around. Bella felt guilty about it, but his words flooded her with relief.

Knowing their destination and remembering about how long it would take to get there made the time fly much faster for Bella. It seemed like before she knew it they were back at the same car they'd abandoned at the edge of Abi's land several days before. Bella collapsed, exhausted, into the backseat, curling into Jacob's side. He wrapped an arm around her, and she was asleep before Veyo had even started the engine.

She awoke to Jacob's fingers threading through her hair. Gently he stroked her cheek, her forehead, the curve of her neck, before finally giving her a soft kiss to fully wake her. Bella's eyes fluttered open and she smiled into his dark brown eyes. "Hi, beautiful," he said softly. "We're here." They were alone in the car now.

"Did Veyo go?" she asked, surprised.

"No, he's outside," Jacob answered. "But once we're through the pass he'll be leaving us."

"I was mean to him," Bella admitted. "I feel bad about it."

Jacob smiled at her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she answered with a smile, kissing him deeply. Jacob returned the kiss eagerly, but soon they had to break it off and get out of the car. Jacob took her hand and they abandoned the car, walking off into the darkness. The moon was still relatively new, so it wasn't very bright, and Bella had to be extra cautious with her steps. At first she was impressed that Jacob remembered the way, but then she heard a twig snap up ahead and she realized they were still following Veyo. Bella bit her lip, stealing a glance up at Jacob for a moment before saying hesitantly, "I'm going to go talk to him."

Jacob looked surprised, but he nodded and let go of her hand, hanging back as she jogged up ahead. At first she regretted her decision as she was plunged into darkness, and almost immediately she staggered as her foot slipped into a small hole, throwing her off-balance. A hand shot out and grabbed her upper arm, steadying her before she could sprain or even break her ankle, and she looked up with a smile of thanks to Jacob. Instead she met Veyo's impatient eyes, as he lifted her easily by her arm and set her down safely on the path. He immediately turned and started walking again, and she quickly hurried ahead and fell into step next to him. He looked sideways at her, frowning a little, but said nothing.

Finally the silence was unbearable. "I'm sorry," she blurted.

"For what?"

"What I said. About you and Abi."

He let out an uncomfortable breath of air but said, "Don't be sorry. It was the truth."

"I know. But it wasn't my place to tease you about it."

"I'm not ashamed of my love for her," he countered.

"Will you just let me apologize?" she asked, frustrated.

"You already did," he answered.

"Fine," Bella snapped.

"Fine," he answered. She started to turn back towards Jacob, but Veyo surprised her by grabbing her arm, stopping her. He let her go and said, "I accept your apology. Even if it was unnecessary."

"Thanks," she answered, not really knowing what else to say.

"I don't hold any grudges against you, Bella," he said gently.

She couldn't help but smile a little. "I don't either. I hope you get her… I really do." After what happened to him and his family, didn't he deserve to be happy? She thought so.

Veyo gave her a small, wry smile. "Abi can't be 'gotten' by anyone," he pointed out. They both laughed, since she couldn't argue with that.

"Well, I learned a lot in your village," she said. "I hope I visit someday."

"You should have had a reading with Mitsis before you left," he said, reminding her that she'd forgotten to say goodbye to the young fortune-teller. He chuckled a little at her stricken expression and said, "Don't worry. Mitsis isn't big on greetings or farewells. She won't be offended."

Bella had to take his word for it. "Okay," she said. "Good."

"We'll be at the border soon," he told her. "You can go back and walk with Jacob if you want."

"Oh," she said awkwardly. "Okay."

"You don't have to," he clarified. "But if you want to, you can." She stole a glance at him in the dim moonlight, and was just able to make out his features in the dark. He caught her staring and said, "What?"

"Nothing," she answered, blushing and looking quickly away, embarrassed.

"You white people," he said with a smirk. "You always want to figure us out." It was obvious he meant it as a joke, so she laughed a little.

"I just can't imagine being you," she admitted. She was thinking not only of the way he lived or his strength or dignity, but also how his family had been slaughtered in front of him and he had somehow stood up and gone on living. As unbearable as how Abi continued to rule her people, passionately, knowing that in the end it would all mean nothing. She couldn't picture that; it seemed unbearable. They were perfect for each other.

"Well," Veyo said gently. "That's why you're not me and I'm not you."

She smiled a little. "Yeah, I guess."

"Abi was right, you know," he told her. "Things don't go right or wrong. They just are. It doesn't matter in the long run what paths we walk... they all end up somewhere."

"But don't you worry about making mistakes?" she asked tentatively.

"Why worry about inevitability?" he countered. "Mistakes happen, Bella. Life happens. Just go with it- you'll be much happier that way."

She couldn't help but smile at him, but it felt like their conversation had reached a natural end. She felt less guilty about what had happened between them before, even if he hadn't technically forgiven her. With a final smile, she left his side and picked her way back- carefully- in the dark to Jacob's side.

"Better?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close.

"Yeah," she answered honestly. "Much."

"He's a decent guy," Jacob said. "Even if he does have a temper."

Bella gave him a playful shove. "Yeah, look who's talking."

Jacob shrugged sheepishly. "I guess it's a bit in our nature," he admitted.

"A bit," Bella answered teasingly.

"Careful," he said wryly. "Or you'll make me mad."

She giggled, and then grew serious. "I'm not afraid of you," she said. "I'm not afraid of what you can do." Jacob grew serious as well. She knew he was thinking of Emily, so she touched his arm before he could speak. "No, I mean it," she said firmly. "I think… life is about taking the risks that are worth it. And you're worth it, Jake, to me."

Even in the dim light, there was no way she could miss the grin that spread across his face.


	18. Chapter 18

Veyo was as good as his word. Once they were over the border, he found them a car and left them there. Finally, Bella and Jacob were alone, and she was glad of it. She was also glad to have had a kind of reconciliation with Veyo, but mostly she was just happy to be going home, even if she was worried about what waited for her there.

Jacob slid into the driver's seat of the two-door truck Veyo had found them, and Bella climbed in beside him. It was a bench seat, so she ignored her seatbelt and cuddled up to Jake's side instead, trusting his driving skills and his arm to keep her safe. She dozed for much of the ride, but even while she was awake they spent most of the trip in comfortable silence. The ferry ride to Port Angeles was beautiful, and then before they knew it they were on the road home. Bella's nervousness really kicked in as they passed the 'Welcome to Forks' sign. It was early morning by then. Her hand tightened around Jacob's and he glanced down at her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, lying. "I just… I hope Charlie doesn't make a huge deal out of things. You know?"

"I know," Jacob said gently. "I'd hate to be forbidden from seeing you or something."

"Yeah… that would suck," she agreed.

"Though I'm sure we could find a way around it," he added with a grin.

She smiled into his shoulder. "I'm sure," she agreed.

"Are you sure you don't want to pull over for an hour or so?" he asked, obviously half-joking, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Bella laughed. "Yeah, actually, that sounds really great… but we can't."

He heaved a dramatic sigh. "I know."

Her house loomed up in front of them far to quickly. He parked the car in the driveway and they both sat there, just looking at it.

"Well," Jacob said finally. "I guess we have to go in."

"Yeah," Bella agreed. Neither of them made a move to open their doors, though, and she was content to give it five more minutes… or maybe a million.

But it turned out that Jacob was wrong. They didn't actually have to go in at all. Instead, the front door suddenly slammed open and Charlie came running out of the house and straight towards their truck.

"Oh shit!" Jacob said, his voice edging on nervous laughter. Quickly Bella got out of the truck, if only not to catch the giggles from him, which definitely wouldn't have gone over in this situation, and she stood there as Charlie stalked towards her. She was aware that Jacob had also exited the truck and came around it to stand beside her, but her eyes were on her father.

Charlie stopped just in front of them and held up his finger, pointing it right at her. He seemed unable to speak for a long moment, but finally he sputtered out a single word, "You!" And then his eyes turned to Jacob, and he pointed at him as well. "And _you."_

Bella didn't know quite how to respond to this. "Dad, I-"

He held up a hand to stop her from saying anything else. In the same moment he found his voice. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? Do I mean so little to you, Bella, that you would put me in a position like this time and time again? I almost had the FBI up there in that- that- that place, wherever you were."

So, Edward had said something. Bella's heart sank. "Dad, I-"

"And _you,"_ Charlie continued, focusing his attention on Jacob. "I never expected behaviour like this from you, son."

Jacob looked genuinely hurt. "I know… I'm sorry."

"Dad," Bella tried. "I-"

"Two lifetimes," Charlie cut her off, turning his attention back to her. "Isn't that what I said? You'd be grounded for two lifetimes? But what's the point, Bella? You don't listen to a damn word I say."

She decided to go way out on a limb, if only to throw him off the course of this rant he was building to. "But I do listen to you," she said quickly, and before he could reply she said, "I told you I was taking your advice. Well, I did. I took it." She reached back and grabbed Jacob's hand, who seemed uncertain about his plan but held on to her anyway. "See?"

Charlie narrowed his eyes at Bella, then looked at their clasped hands, then cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head for a moment as he obviously was trying to decide how to respond to that. For the first time, Bella noticed he was in his pajamas and bare feet. He must have heard the truck and just raced for the door.

"Hmm," Charlie said, huffing a little. "Well. Jake… You're a nice kid. Your dad and I get on all right. And I know you'll do right by Bella."

"Oh. Thank-you, Charlie," Jacob answered, the astonishment in his voice obvious.

Charlie looked at Bella again, and then let out a frustrated breath of air. "But don't think this means you're off the hook," he said.

Bella knew the worst was over, and nodded. "No, I won't," she promised. "Totally still on the hook."

"Hmm," he said again, yawning. "Well. I guess you're probably hungry."

"A little," Bella admitted.

Charlie looked at Jacob. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Always," Jacob grinned.

Looking uncertainly between the two of them, Charlie said suddenly, "Hey, wait a minute. If we all go into my house and eat breakfast together, you guys are going to think I'm not mad, or you're not in trouble."

Jacob and Bella exchanged a look, but neither of them said anything.

Charlie went on, "No, hang on, hang on." They all stood there for a long moment as he thought hard about this. "Okay Jake, I think you should go home," he said finally. "Bella, you and I will eat breakfast. And you're grounded… for… I don't know, to be determined." He looked at Jacob. "You can still come over, because I know you will anyway, but Bella… if you ever, _ever_ do something like this again…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

"I know," she said quickly. "I won't."

He didn't look like he believed her, but he nodded a little. Then he put his arm around her, pulling her towards the house. "How about bacon and eggs? I'll call the station and tell them I won't be in today."

"Sounds great," she said, smiling at him. "But can I just… say goodbye to him? I'll be there in like two minutes."

Charlie let out a sigh, but nodded. "I'll get the frying pan going," he said, nodding to Jacob. "Jake."

"Charlie," Jacob answered, and Charlie just nodded, turning and heading back into the house.

"I'm always hurting him," Bella said with a sad smile as the door shut behind him.

"Maybe you won't have to anymore," Jacob said softly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. Despite the chill in the air, his body warmed her. Gently he lowered his lips to hers, and kissed her tenderly.

"So… no vampires?" she asked tentatively. "No Edward?"

"I don't smell him," he agreed, sounding relieved. "But he's bound to show up. Bella… be careful, okay?"

"I will," she promised, threading her fingers into his hair and pulling him in for another soft kiss. He smiled at her, turning back to the truck and climbing in. He tossed her a wave before driving off, and Bella couldn't help but smile after him. Turning back to the house, she hurried inside to smooth things over with Charlie for what seemed like the millionth time in her life.

* * *

Surprisingly, it was fun. Her father let his anger and pain go for now, and seemed relieved just to have her back. They made breakfast together, frying eggs and bacon and even throwing in some sausage links, so they ended up with a nice hearty breakfast. Bella actually felt a bit sick eating all this greasy food, after the last few days of nothing but nuts, berries, roasted meat, and fruit. She ate slowly, giggling at Charlie, who slathered maple syrup over everything and inhaled his food like he hadn't eaten in weeks.

Afterward, they sat on the couch. She told him as much as she could about where she'd been, which was surprisingly a lot more than she would have thought she could say, considering. But really, Abi's community hadn't been about being immortal werewolves- there was more to it than that, so for once Bella could actually share quite a few of her experiences.

"Well, Jacob's friends sound very nice," Charlie said after she had finished the story. They were sitting on the couch together, recovering from their breakfast, and then her father sniffed the air. "But uh… I guess they didn't have showers up there, did they?"

"Ew," she said, standing up quickly. "Yeah, good point. I'll be down in a bit."

"I'll be here," he said as she started to walk away. "Hey, Bells?"

She turned back. "Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're okay. I mean, alive and well but also… okay, you know? Your heart and all that." He cleared his throat. "You know, with Jake."

Bella smiled warmly at him. "Thanks, Dad," she said, hurrying up the stairs and closing herself into the bathroom. It was true, she stunk. She hadn't really found time for personal hygiene while she'd been up there, and it hadn't seemed to matter, but now that she was back home amongst all her familiar smells, her own stench stood out like a sore thumb.

Gathering together soap, body wash, three shampoos, two conditioners, and a razor, Bella turned the water on hot and got ready for a nice, long cleanse. She knew this was one time Charlie wouldn't complain about the water bill, and she also knew she would come out feeling clean and refreshed, which after everything she'd been through seemed like a good idea. She remembered, almost as an afterthought, that Victoria was dead, and for the first time in a long time she actually felt like she had an ordinary life. Yes, she had a vampire ex-boyfriend, and her current boyfriend was a werewolf, but Jacob was so… normal. Mostly. Enough. The early stages of love with him was nothing like it had been with Edward, no sweeping epic supernatural forces to contend with, no danger of a paper cut sparking off pandemonium, and no boyfriend that wanted to kill her as much as he wanted to kiss her. She understood there was a danger in Jacob, but it seemed less dangerous somehow.

Once she was out of the shower, she felt much more human. She wrapped a big towel around her body and a smaller one around her hair and hurried through the cold hallway to her even colder bedroom, finding a bottle of lotion and taking a seat on the bed to spread it over her dry feet, which were threatening to crack from all the barefoot walking she'd been doing of late. Still, there was something about really feeling the earth under her feet that she already missed, being back here in what she still couldn't help thinking of as was the real world.

She felt him before she saw him. He had a presence, there was no denying that, an unmistakable aura and poise that drew her in. It helped that he could stare at her for long moments without blinking, his golden eyes fixed on her without wavering. Bella held her breath as he approached her, but he didn't sit next to her, he kind of hovered off to one side, uncertain.

"Hi," she said, trying to contain her nerves as he stood there. His expression looked pained, uncertain.

"Hi," he answered.

"Um… do you want to sit?" She scooted over a bit, pulling the towel a little tighter around herself as she did so. Edward didn't move for a long moment, but then he finally sat next to her.

"Your dad called me because he knows I've been worried."

"And you rushed over here?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," he answered. "Is that… not okay?"

"No," she said quickly. "No, it's fine."

They sat there in silence for a minute and finally he said, "Would you be more comfortable if I came back when you're dressed?"

She'd forgotten she wasn't, but she shrugged a little. "No, it's okay."

"Bella…"

"Yes?"

"So…" He seemed to be struggling for words. "You… and Jacob," he said finally.

"Me and Jacob," she repeated. Again, the silence.

"This is… very hard," he said quietly.

"I know," she said gently.

"It's difficult for me to watch you go down this road… I'm worried about you, Bella. Don't you think there's a reason Alice can't see past them?"

"I trust them," she answered simply. "I trust him."

He let out a long sigh. "Well… I've always said I wanted you to live your life, Bella," he said finally. "I just didn't think it would mean I would have to allow this… experiment."

She frowned. "Allow?" she repeated.

His hand traced the curve of her cheekbone and she couldn't help but let her eyes flutter closed. "I just… I'm worried you're making a mistake."

Bella forced her eyes open, but it was hard. "It's my mistake to make, if it is one," she pointed out gently.

"I know," he said, nodding. "I know." He grimaced a little. "Things will be strange now."

Her heart quickened. "You're not leaving, are you?" When he didn't answer her, she said quickly, "Edward… you can't. Please. Not again. I want us to be friends. I don't want you to go." She felt the panic rising in her chest.

"Shh," he said, quickly pulling her into his arms, stroking his hand up and down her back soothingly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Relieved, she pulled back from him and looked into his beautiful golden eyes. "Good," she said. "And I mean come on… Jacob doesn't even go to our school. We'll still have plenty of time to hang out."

Edward stood up, studying a patch of carpet on the floor for a long moment. Finally he looked at her, and his eyes nearly took her breath away. Would she ever look at him and not see perfection? Was that even possible?

"How about I pick you up tomorrow morning?" he said quietly. "I'll drive you to school."

She smiled a little. "Yeah," she said. "That would be great."

"I'll be here," he promised, before vanishing out the window. Bella let out her breath and finished rubbing the lotion into her feet before she found her brush, ran it through her hair until it was free of tangles, and finally she picked out some new clothes and descended the stairs, clean and sweet-smelling once again, ready to spend the day making amends to Charlie without choking him too. Maybe Jacob was right. Maybe she didn't have to hurt him anymore; maybe now things could be easy for all of them.

* * *

Bella went to bed early, pleading exhaustion from her trip. It was mostly true, but there was also the fact that she couldn't take much more of old movies, popcorn, and card games with Charlie. He seemed satisfied that they'd had a good day and let her go. She changed into her pajamas and lay in bed, thinking. She hadn't liked Edward's use of the word 'allow,' but she supposed that was probably how he was always going to think of this. He was always going to see her and Jacob as a bad experiment, doomed to failure. But what if she and Jacob stayed together forever? Would he still think like that? And what _was_ forever? Bella used to think that was a simple word with only one meaning. But now she was faced with so many versions, it was hard to sort them all out.

There was a sudden scraping sound, and Bella saw the tree outside her window tremble for a moment before the pane was lifted and Jacob slid through. She admired his agility and grace, but there was also something charmingly human about the evidence of his effort- the sound, the tree, his chest rising and falling with the force of exertion. Not like Edward, who floated in and out of her room without making a sound.

Jacob crossed the room and sat down on her bed. "Hey, beautiful," he said, his eyes darting around quickly as though to make sure they were alone.

"He's not here," she said, pointing out the obvious.

"He was though, wasn't he?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, earlier. He's going to pick me up for school tomorrow… we're going to try to be friends."

Jacob grimaced. "I don't trust him to mean that, Bella," he said, then smiled at her, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I could transfer, you know," he mused.

"I thought you liked the exclusivity of your school?" she teased.

He shrugged, but his grin said it was still true.

"No, Jake," she said, more seriously. "You don't have to do that. I can take care of myself."

Edward would have disagreed, but Jacob nodded. "I know you can," he said. "It's him I don't trust to behave."

Bella smiled at him, rolling her eyes a little, and gave his arm a tug. "Stay the night," she said.

Jacob glanced toward the door. "What about your dad?" he asked doubtfully.

"He said you could visit," Bella pointed out.

"I don't think he meant that I could crawl through your window and have a sleepover with you," Jacob pointed out wryly.

"Oh, come on," Bella said, pulling back the blankets. "Snuggle in with me. I'm freezing and I know you'll be nice and toasty."

He still looked uncertain but he relented, crawling under the sheets and letting her curl into his side, her head on his bare chest. Bella sighed, wrapping one arm around him and letting his natural body heat warm her.

"I won't be able to stay all night," he said, and she could feel the words rumbling in his chest as he spoke. "I have patrol."

"That's okay," she answered. "Just stay until you have to go."

"I will," he promised, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

Sleep was already overpowering her, but she smiled into his chest. "I love you, Jake," she whispered, before letting sleep lay a blanket over her consciousness like gentle snow.

The last thing she heard was his soft voice whispering into her hair, "I love you, Bella Swan… I'm going to love you for the rest of your life."

She slept soundly in Jacob's arms, cozy and protected, feeling safe enough to be oblivious to the world. Even after Jacob heard Sam's call and had slipped from her room, first tucking extra blankets over her to make up for the loss of heat, no nightmares visited her sleep.

In the morning, she opened her eyes and looked up at the little dreamcatcher tucked over the top of her headboard. She smiled, momentary losing herself in her memory of the day Jacob gave her that. But it faded almost as soon as it came; memory was nice to have, but it didn't seem quite so important when the present was so great. As for the future… she didn't know what that would bring, not for sure, but the difference was that she _wanted _to think about it now. Instead of a vast emptiness of doom and torment before her, it was something exciting, something to hope for.

Bella turned her eyes forward. There was still so much to see.

THE END


	19. Author's Note

To all my readers,

I have finally begun publishing the sequel to this story. It's entitled "Rebirth" and can be found on my author profile page.

Hope to see you all over there! Reviews keep me writing! :-)

Thanks,  
Ashantai


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